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There’s No Place Like Home

Dear Sister

I’ve been thinking recently of what “home” means. It can be a place of shelter; a place to rest your head at night. It also can be a feeling of safety and belonging. I think this is why it is people who make a house feel like a home. Leaving home has taught me that.

I don’t call one place home. When I visit my childhood home, I miss my roommates and life in Florida. When I’m in Florida, I miss my family back on the west coast. I’m homesick for both yet neither are my home. It’s a very puzzling feeling. This longing for “home” and permanence is the pilgrim’s plight. We are not made for this world; we are made for something eternal. This world is not our home; it is only a shadow of things to come.

“For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come” (Heb. 13:14).

You can also feel homesick for a person. Visiting places is great, but it is people that make leaving difficult. When I was little, I was terrible at saying goodbyes. So much in fact I would hide in the closet and refuse to come out. If I didn’t say goodbye, I thought then no one would leave. But of course, that’s not how it works. The hardest goodbye I had to make was at my mother’s death. Heaven didn’t become real to me until I lost someone.

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt. 6:19-21).

Places change and people come and go, but that’s the beauty of it. The joys and sorrows of this world make us long for the next. We get a taste of heaven in the here and now, which then points us to the feast that awaits us. Eternity is going to be one big family reunion, but nothing will compare to seeing our Savior face to face!

I’ve moved three times now, once across the country and twice locally. Each time it’s a reminder to put my trust in the Lord. It’s stressful not knowing where you are going to live or with whom, but each time the Lord provides no matter how much I worry. Each move is a gift, with the opportunity to create a sense of home, a little picture of eternity. So enjoy where God has planted you and the people you are with. Trust in the Lord, He will bring us safely home.

In Christ,

Karlie

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Faithful Servant

Dear Sister,

Sometimes I think I can’t give any more. It feels as if I’m pulled in a thousand different directions. “Help me here. Now.  Give me this. Now. Would you mind? Now. I’m hungry. Now.” And no one ever asks me what I would like. Or if I’m hungry. Or tired. Give, give, give, give, give. Not that the perception of the moment is accurate, mind you, but this is how I ‘feel’ when I’m having a pity-party. Thankfully, it does not happen very often.

Most of my days are filled with insistent calls upon me and I don’t even have little ones around tugging relentlessly at my apron strings. I’m close to the biblical three score and ten and my used-to-be little ones have now given me grand children. My life is instead filled with care-giving to my elderly mama, to a child with special needs, and my dear husband to whom I have been given the role of helper and life-giver. And I’m usually very thankful for the privilege. But some days…

It’s on days like these when I am reminded of a definition of servanthood I once heard. “A true servant is one who doesn’t mind being treated like one.” It is our sinfulness which gives license to think we are such great servants as we groan our way through dutiful acts, deserving of some thanks for our services. When we are not thanked or appreciated according to our expectations, often what we deem as our “gentle, servants’ hearts” are betrayed by another heart, a complaining heart, a frustrated heart, a fickle heart, an untrue heart, a disappointed heart, a heart that served in order to honor self and not to glorify our majestic God.

Romans 12 has been echoing in my mind of late, when I’m weary, when I want to give in to myself. Read it for yourself. Pray through it. Ask God for grace to do it. I know you grow weary too, in the face of the exigencies of life.

Paul tells us we must present our bodies as living sacrifices, dying to ourselves, a “living killing” as one author put it, holy and acceptable to God. He says we are not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought to think. He exhorts us to do our acts of mercy with cheerfulness. Our love is to be genuine, not feigned or counterfeit. We are to love one another with brotherly affection and outdo each other in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, says Paul. Be fervent in spirit. Serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope. Be patient in tribulation. Be constant in prayer.

My heart falls on metaphorical knees before Christ and repents of self-absorption, reminded of how Christ loved me when I was lost and unlovely, and very demanding; how He died the death I deserve; thinking of how He promises to never leave me or forsake me; how He welcomes me to His throne of grace for the umpteenth time. I ponder how He washed His haughty disciples’ feet as a vivid lesson to them and to us to meet the needs of others in true servant form. Imagine. The King of the universe on His knees, gently cleaning sweaty, smelly, filthy feet from the routine walk of messy living. 12 pairs. One of them hated Him. Jesus does this for me every day and for you, if you are His. In the remembering, in the confession, joy returns. Strength for the daily-ness  is renewed. Perspective is re-ordered.

Dear Sister, let us be faithful in lovingly serving others–our husbands, our children, our friends, strangers in our paths, especially when there is seemingly nothing to be gained in return. After all, Jesus told us that He, God in flesh, came to serve, not to be served, and I am to be like Him. Why do I ever think I am entitled to more?   Let us not grow weary of doing good, says Paul, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Our reward is heavenly. Lift your eyes above earthly cares and disappointments. Someday it will be His eyes you will see, so very clearly. Serve Him faithfully now.

Love,
Cherry

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Faithful Through and Through

Dear Sister,

When good things happen I often hear, ‘God is so faithful, isn’t He?’ I often wonder if the circumstance had turned out badly would I hear, ‘God is so faithful, isn’t He?’

It seems that the last ten years of my life have been a roller coaster of what we human beings call good and bad. New life, death, disease, healing, troubled relationships, forgiveness, excruciatingly slow sanctification. What I am learning practically, though I have long understood positionally and theologically, is that through all of it, God has remained faithful, true to His Word. Through the cancer diagnosis and viciously disabling treatments, through the healing, through the joy of two daughters’-in-law pregnancies and precious babies born, through miscarriages and premature, non-viable births, to sons and their wives weeping at their losses, to a little boy born with club feet, multiple castings and surgeries and pain for a grandson, to the death of a godly and loving father, to the decline of a mother and best friend…Yet, I can say with all confidence, without bravado, He is faithful.

God is not just faithful when all goes well. God remains faithful when the anguish is so intense that breathing is labored. God remains faithful when all earthly hope is gone. God remains faithful when a heart is filled with immobilizing fear. God is faithful when the days are dark, storm clouds weigh heavy in the skies, waves are crashing all around threatening to overwhelm and drown.

God’s faithfulness is not dependent on the circumstances in our lives. He is faithful to His own character, Who He is.  And we know Who He is from His Word. He is faithful to save for all eternity those whom He has chosen. He is faithful to forgive them because He said He would. He is faithful to complete the work He has begun in us because He promised to do so. He is faithful to never leave us or forsake us when the loved one is not healed in spite of our pleadings.  He made Himself known when babies were born imperfect in the world’s eyes.  He was there when little ones died. He was present at the graveside as they lowered the tiny box into the grave and I watched my son, with his own hands, shovel clods of dirt over their dream. Ashes to ashes…

Dear sister, God does not promise to make our lives trouble free. Had He done so, they would indeed be trouble free. He promised they would be difficult and filled with fiery trials and temptations. He has promised that He will chasten us for our presumptuous sins so that we will repent more quickly and deeply. He put us in this messy, chaotic, trouble-filled life to save us and sanctify us slowly but surely–and in the pain-filled process, gradually peel our hearts and eyes away from this world and its baubles and troubles and fix our longings on our heavenly home where all things will fully and finally be trouble-free. We would never crave the new heaven and earth if we were not weary of the old. We would never learn to love our God and find Him most satisfying above all people or things or places if we did not endure the dissatisfaction and emptiness of grasping and acquiring and fading, short-lived happinesses.

His faithfulness is based on who He is, not what we want Him to be or do. And we will never know Who He is unless we immerse ourselves in His Word so that He can tell us Who He is. When we live and breathe and exude Christ we will, with deep-seated joy in our souls, say, “He is faithful!”, though the tears are streaming down our faces.

“Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will declare what He has done for my soul.” Psalm 66: 16

Cling, dear Sister. Cling to our always faithful God.

Love,
Cherry

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Acceptance vs. Agreement

Dear sister,

“Love the sinner, hate the sin” bothers me. This phrase is used a lot in Christian circles and I understand why. Scripture commands us to love our enemy as much as we love ourselves (Matt. 5:43-45) and to hate sin as much as God does (Ps. 97:10), so the principle is there. But I don’t see this balance being lived out often. There is either the extreme shunning of the sinner because of their sin or the loving of the sinner while embracing their sin. There should be a way to truly love a person and yet at the same time not endorse their choices. I believe this is the difference between agreement and acceptance.

In our culture, any form of disagreement can easily be viewed as intolerance. To accept a person means you have to accept their behavior, but the acceptance I’m talking about can show love and grace while not wavering from the truth. A good example of this is with our family members. I’ve had to have conversations with loved ones who just wanted me to accept them by being okay with their sin. In those instances, I’ve had to make the distinction that I do accept and love them, but that I don’t have to agree with them in order to continue a relationship with them.

We shouldn’t have to compromise on our personal convictions and we shouldn’t have to burn bridges either. Sometimes this means creating boundaries, which is not the same as burning bridges. Boundaries motivated by love help to maintain the relationship. It’s not easy …  it takes both truth and grace to grow a relationship. There are people in my life, especially family members, that I will love no matter what! We may not always agree and I may not like the choices they make, but that will not lessen my love for them by any means.

There will be times when we have to make the hard decision on when to let go of a relationship or where to draw the line. For me, I think the goal is always to maintain a loving relationship and build bridges. After all, it’s hard to speak the truth to someone you don’t have a relationship with. It is not loving to let people live in sin and believe the lie that no harm will ever come of it.  It takes trust in a relationship to speak truth in love. Any unwanted advice comes off as criticism and if the relationship is not strong or close, truth comes off as judgment. But we speak the truth because we love people, even if it means losing a relationship. That’s why, if agreement cannot be reached, it sometimes is best to just reach a point of peace, realizing you will always love and accept them, but cannot entirely agree with them. This is why we pray for true repentance.  We are to love the sinner, speak the truth, and trust God will continue the work He started.

In Christ,

Karlie

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Dare to Be Faithful

Dear Sister,

His middle name is Daniel. Dare to be a Daniel and all that. In my barrenness I had begged God for a child, but only if he would walk faithfully with God. So, He gave, and we prayed that this gift, this boy, would be the fulfillment of that prayer, that he would be like Daniel.

The book which bears his name is filled with strange imagery and prophecies which are not readily understandable, but the first few chapters in this Old Testament writing quickly grab my heart and I get it.  I pray that Daniel’s unabashed faithfulness would be in me and my family and all of God’s true children.

What if our boys were taken as spoils in a brutal war? What if we were taken as a trophy for some pagan king? Would we be immobilized by fear or hysteria? Would dread of torture or death cause us to submit to the new culture and its ways?

Yes, Daniel and his friends were cared for lavishly so as to adorn the pagan king’s reputation and kingdom by owning the choicest of young men, boys with good looks, intelligence, and aptitudes. But this care came with contingencies. Study hard or else. Wear a pagan, idolatrous name befitting the captor nation’s gods. Eat the royal delicacies or…

Was this a difficult submission for Daniel? The Scriptures do not reveal any conundrum in his heart. They tell us what he did. And he did it with incredible wisdom, winsomeness, and empathy for his caretaker. Oh, he studied hard and excelled. He knew that this secular education would not take away his knowledge and love for Yahweh, his God. He accepted his new Babylonian name.  He knew that it did not change who he was intrinsically. He was still Daniel in his heart. But…the food! That was a different story. God had strict rules about Israel’s permitted foods and those banned from the pagan nations. Perhaps the royal fare compromised those directives? Perhaps the edibles were dedicated to idols and consuming them would appear to the watching court to be submission to these false gods? For whatever reason, Daniel believed eating would compromise him and his testimony, yet he did not outright refuse. He politely asked his superior, to whom he had already earned favor by his excellent work and demeanor, for an exemption from the order to eat the king’s delicacies for a set period of time on the condition that his health and appearance would not suffer as a result. Scripture tells us he had purposed in his heart to not defile himself.  He resolved beforehand that he would not acquiesce to the culture in such a way as to compromise his walk with his God. This was his red line. You know the story. He passes the test and is eventually elevated to a high position in the court for all his pursuit of excellence. He is found trustworthy by all. But, exalted status often results in jealousy and evil men sought to undermine and bring him low–to the point of death. Through it all, Daniel remains faithful to Yahweh. He will not compromise though execution looms large before his face.

Recently I reread Foxe’s Book of Martyrs. I was struck by faithfulness like Daniel’s and his friends’ loyalties and was ashamed at the myriad times I fail to speak a simple word for Jesus when my only consequence might be a puzzled look or some scorn. How I long for, pray for such love for Christ that boldness would break forth from my heart and my lips no matter the fallout. I pray for deeds that stand the test of the furnace,  a reputation that causes even lions to be at peace with me. I ask Him for a life that is vindicated by God even as Daniel’s.

His name means ‘God is my judge’. Daniel lived in light of that designation. He did not want to disappoint. That’s how I want to live.

Love,
Cherry