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Desires and Contentment

My dearest sister,

Do you ever struggle with being content? I sure do. I want to share with you what God has been showing me of my own heart lately. I struggle with contentment as a single woman longing to become a wife and mother. My desire for marriage is so strong that I often find myself despairing of my singleness, wondering how much longer I’ll have to wait for God to bring the right man into my life.

I began to think that being content was a hopeless pursuit, because I could not rid myself of my desire for a husband. I gave into temptations to self-pity because I wasn’t trusting in my Lord and Savior. It’s a tough place to be, dear sister, and I’m sure you can relate.

Then, I was reminded that God is with us even in the strongest storm! He showed me that I needed to renew my mind by seeking after Him through the reading of His word and prayer. But I had a problem. I still have a problem, it is called sin. In this case, the sin that manifested itself in my heart was a desire for self-pity. I realized that I would rather feel sorry for myself, for the things that I don’t have (i.e. a boyfriend) than be thankful for every spiritual blessing that God has blessed me with in Christ (Ephesians 1). I didn’t want to change my thinking; I didn’t want my mind to be renewed through the word of God. Thankfully, God didn’t give up on me! He never does when He’s dealing with His princesses, and as daughters of the King that’s exactly what you and I are. He reminded me that I am His beautiful princess and that He has wonderful plans for me: “plans to prosper [me] and not to harm [me], plans to give me hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). He doesn’t want me to be exactly like someone else or live the same life as another person. He wants me to live out the life He has planned for me! And I don’t know about you, but I’m betting that His plan is a lot more exciting than my own.

God reminded me too, that I am not on this earth to pursue my own pleasures or make my own plans. I am to follow His plan, for that is far better. My purpose is not to live a life completely of my own design, fulfilling every desire that should arise in my heart on my own time-table. No, dear one, my purpose and your purpose in this life is to bring glory to God and exalt Christ, showing Him to be preeminent over all things (Colossians 1:18).

So, how do I (or maybe you) become content? I remember, and still experience, how I would use my feelings to determine whether or not I was content. No wonder I couldn’t achieve my goal. Our feelings are so fickle that it’s a wonder people place so much trust in them, even using them to make big life decisions like who they will marry or what job they will take. But something I found curious as I was searching the Scriptures was that God never said anything about feeling content. Rather we are called to be content. Who we are and what we are is always a choice. Contentment is no different. We must make a decision for contentment in order to enjoy it and increase our thankfulness for every blessing God has given us. You and I don’t have to stop wanting something or deny that your heart has deep desires. God gave us those desires—desires for friendship, intimacy, marriage, motherhood (the list goes on)—they are not evil in and of themselves. It is when those desires become preeminent, when they begin to even rule our hearts that we have crossed over the line with God.  Instead, we must trust God that He will fulfill those desires in His timing (not mine and yours) and thank Him for working out His perfect plan in our lives and for blessing us far more than we could ever deserve.

Trust in Him, today, my dear, beautiful sister.  Be Content!  Delight yourself in the Lord for you are a daughter of the King, His princess and guess what? He loves you!

“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are” (1 John 3:1).

Your sister,

Kayla

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Watch out for that rut!

My Dearest Sister,

I wanted to tell you about the recent trip I took to visit Ike and Lauren.  The weekend had so many variants that it actually reminded me of the texture of a fine fabric.  The different people and personalities, the arrival and departure of the different parties of people, the laughter had by everyone, the smiles and affectionate hugs that were spread around, the sheer excitement of seeing Isaac doing what he has dreamt of doing since he was a little boy, and watching the little kiddos toddle about soaking in the love by anyone who would take the time to interact with them, made it the memorable time that it was.  This mom’s heart was so full, and quite content I might add!  So much so, that when it was time to say goodbye the tears came and my heart began to sink into discontentment.  I think you know what I am speaking of; that muddy rut that you and I get stuck in every once in a while.  That rut that says, “It’s not enough! You must have more!”

I am happy, not to mention thankful, to tell you that on the long ride home from Alabama I became unstuck from that pitiful rut.  I didn’t do it alone.  No, it took something, indeed someone, far greater than me to get me out of that place.  I had the help of the Wonderful Counselor, the Holy Spirit.  He was so gracious to restrain my heart from the nose dive it was taking into that rut.  His word was like a crane that lifted me up and out of that wicked rut of discontentment and redirected the path that my heart was taking me.  The Lord led me “onto a path of righteousness for His name’s sake”. (Psalm 23:4)

God’s Word reminded me that, as Jeremiah Burroughs once put it, my “contentment is not by addition, but by subtraction”.  It is when my “desires” decrease that I become satisfied or “content” in Christ alone.  How strange, it is that when I take away all of my “I wants” which is a subtraction, that I gain!!! I think I have heard this before.

“Godliness with contentment is great gain.”  I Timothy 6:6

So, sweet sister, I gained so much from this visit with Ike and Lauren and I wanted to share that with you! I wanted you to know that God was merciful to me in exposing to me what ruts lie in my heart and that by His grace I was lifted up out of that rut and put a right onto the path of contentment in Christ my Savior.

Well, enough of looking back, now I must look ahead so that I might not fall into another one of those ruts!  I will pray that this letter helps you to avoid the ones that lie in your heart as well.  I will pray that your contentment will be in Christ alone.  Which is the greatest gain of all!

Your Grateful Sister,

Susan

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Pastures, Cows, Milk and Contentment

Dear Sister,
I remember a quote from Wendell Calder almost 20 years ago during the first sermon I heard at Bible College, “Carnation Condensed Milk, the milk from contented cows”.  He was remarking how much better milk would taste from a contented cow grazing on green pastures with all its needs met.  I agree.  I would much rather drink milk from a cow that was content than one that was not content.

But what is contentment?  Paul remarks that he had learned to be content in all circumstances of life (green pastures or not) when he wrote to the Philippians in a jail cell (Phil 4:11).  We also know that godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Tim 6:6).  But what is it and how do I get it (green pastures or not)?  The dictionary defines it as “satisfaction”.  I like that.  Satisfaction.  What with and when am I satisfied?  When my daughter is giving me a big gummy smile?  When my husband and I are relaxed with our feet up on the couch watching a TV show before the end of another busy day?  When I have the perfect cup of coffee complimented by a morsel of dark chocolate?  Mmmm…satisfaction…contentment.  Is that what it means?

It has to be more than that as not all of us can experience those things.  Not all of us are married or blessed with children.  Not all of us have a husband that we want to snuggle up to.  Not all of us like coffee and most of us need to be off of chocolate.  So how can we women be contentment when we have an argument with our husbands, our babies are crying, or a loved one dies?  Is it an impossible thing?  It is without Christ.

Paul has it right in Philippians when he says that his contentment comes from Christ who strengthens him (Phil 4:13).  We can’t be content in our own strength (green pastures or not).  On this earth we will never be satisfied or content because it is not our home.  Praise God we have hope of satisfaction and contentment for eternity with Christ, which begins the moment we trust in Jesus!  Our contentment is IN Jesus Christ and what He accomplished on the cross; the forgiveness of our sins.  When Christ is enough for us, we will be content in all things (green pastures or not).  When is it that you feel most satisfied?  I’m not sure about you sister, but for me, it is when I have completed what I was supposed to for the day.  How much more content we would be if we knew and completed our purpose in life.  So what is this purpose of life?  To glorify God and enjoy him forever!  John Piper says, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.”  So not only will we have contentment, we will glorify God!

So sweet sister, are you content with Christ?  Is Christ enough for you?  Do you need Christ plus happy children to be satisfied?  Do you need Christ plus a good marriage to be content?  Can you glorify God in what you do each day from breakfast to brushed teeth?

I think back to that contented cow and how much I would want that milk over an unsatisfied cow’s milk.  When we drink of Christ, though the bitterness of this world slams on us, people will see our contentment and want to be a part of it.  Sweet sister, what does your label read?

Your Satisfied Sister,

Colleen

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Power Under Control

My Dear Sister,

Sometimes the definition of a word is clearer when you think of its opposite: summer verses winter, friend verses enemy, Hitler verses Billy Graham. When I think of gentleness, the opposite seems to be uncontrolled power: Uncontrolled power that causes chaos, fear, and rage. This power eventually becomes the demise of the one using it. When I contemplate an example of gentleness; a wrestler holding a baby, a Marine rescuing an orphan, and a dad changing a newborn’s diaper, come to mind. They are great examples. However the real model of gentleness, this power under control if you will, is Jesus Christ.

Do you ever think of how the all-powerful God of the universe came down to earth and became a baby? A baby: One hundred percent God, one hundred percent man. That is Power under control!! Do you remember how He spent most of his life as the humble son of a tradesman in a small town? That was Power under control! Christ was homeless and surrounded himself with societal losers, again, Power under control. He calmed the seas, cast out demons, and raised people from the dead, amazing Power under control. This Lord who created all things with his spoken word was controlled enough to draw children to Himself. These children ran to him with no fear, trembling, or coercion because he exuded power under control. The children trusted this gentle Messiah. What about you my dear sister?

His gentleness is what keeps us alive sister. The penalty of sin is death yet he has controlled his power and given us grace and mercy we do not deserve! All the wrathful power from a holy God was put on His son and all the power of heaven raised Him from the dead on the third day! Dear sister, are you trusting in Him? If you are then you are now free from your sin debt and your heart is in the hands of your Gentle Savior who will never leave you, never forsake you, and who will lead you as a shepherd. That is power under control. That is gentleness. That is our Savior.

How are we applying this gentleness in our lives? How can you and I have power under control? When speaking with our children who challenge us, remember to control your power. When speaking with our husbands who sometimes fail to meet expectations, remember to control your power. And even when speaking with our friends who sometimes share more about others (fact or fiction) than we need to hear…we should control the power to engage in gossip and use the power to leave. “A gentle word turns away wrath”. We have been treated with gentleness by our Savior…how much more should we be gentle with those he has placed in our lives?

From Your Sister in Christ,
Colleen

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Unity and Gentleness

My dearest Sister,

Just yesterday I was reading a devotional on Ephesians 4:1-3. Paul says “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” In Paul’s typical manner he not only told me what to do, but how as well. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians exhorts me to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called.” I am to do this in humility and gentleness, with patience…and so forth.

But what is this gentleness that Paul is speaking of? I have heard the word used many times before, but I don’t think I have ever really understood everything the word entails. Charles Hodge defined gentleness as the “unresisting, uncomplaining disposition of mind which enables us to bear other people’s faults without irritation or resentment.” Wow. I’d never thought about gentleness that way before. I guess I always associated gentleness with being soft-spoken, and always speaking in love. I see in this insightful definition that gentleness pushes beyond not losing your temper when someone pushes you too far.

Paul didn’t stop at humility and gentleness, and neither should I. He also said, “with patience, bearing with one another in love”. You might have a translation that uses the word longsuffering instead of patience. I like this word better because it captures the essence of how we are to live with others that may be different than us, and yes, may have annoying habits! It means loving a person with the love of Christ (see 1 Corinthians 13) despite their faults and despite their irritating habits. Now I know this sounds challenging. It is. There is nothing easy about loving others, especially those who may be more difficult to love than say, your best friend. Thankfully, we don’t have to rely on ourselves to change our ways. We can ask Jesus to give us the grace to treat all of our brothers and sisters with gentleness. He will give it to us! He is always faithful!

I’m sorry to have to write you and share that just this past week my patience has been, at best, thin. It seems that at one point I was more self-controlled and more able to deal with the annoyances of others. Now, I just feel that every little thing gets me wound up and grumpy. I’m easily annoyed and don’t often trouble myself to hide it. Reading this passage of Scripture and taking in this new perspective on gentleness has convicted me and by the grace of God it has brought me to repentance! But there is one last thought I want to leave with you. Paul didn’t just give us the “what” and the “how,” he also gave us the “why.”

You and I bear with one another in love in order to “maintain unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” As sisters in Christ, we are of one body, and we all belong to Him, having been made new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17), and because we are of one body we should strive to act like it. Unity is one of our defining characteristics as Christians. Dear sister in Christ, may we together strive to maintain this precious gift through pursuing a spirit of gentleness with all people and in all circumstances.

Your sister,
Kayla