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Learning to Let It Go

My Dearest Sister,

It’s happened again, hasn’t it? A particular person in your life has sinned against you – and it’s definitely not the first time. You try to fight the desire for vindication rising up in you, but in the end you just can’t ignore its stubborn little voice: “You’ve already dealt with this before, too many times. You always forgive [insert name here], but this just keeps happening. Really, what’s the point anymore?” And then you cross your arms, stick your chin out and say “Not anymore!”. Sadly, sister, this is something that I can relate with all too well. I have been told on more than one occasion that I have a “tender heart” (translation: “breaks easily”). When someone offends me, I usually have a hard time letting it go. Let’s face it: Forgiveness isn’t something that comes naturally to anyone. When someone hurts us, we want them to get what they deserve, don’t we? If only they could feel a little bit of the pain they’ve cause us, then maybe they would learn their lesson; Maybe then they would understand.

However, when Peter asked the Lord how many times we should forgive a brother who sins against us, Jesus replied, “Up to seventy times seven.” That’s 490 times! I certainly hope that you never have to forgive somebody on that many separate occasions, but Jesus gave us a big number to make the point that we are to forgive our brother or sister in Christ as many times as they sin against us; as many times as it takes. It was not until I was an adult that God really began teaching me this lesson. I remember thinking, “But Lord, this is the same sin that they committed just two days ago! How am I supposed to forgive them when I am still so hurt, when my heart is still raw?” And just as those words had formed in my mind, I heard the Lord’s voice in my heart: “But I have forgiven you unto everlasting life and my mercies are new each morning.” Whoa! Talk about humbling! I had never considered that what I was feeling must only be a tiny fraction of what God feels. We sin against Him daily, yet He is always there with open arms, just waiting to shower us with His limitless forgiveness. So how can I, as a forgiven sinner washed clean by the blood of Christ, be so stingy with my own forgiveness towards my brethren who have received the same absolution from sin that I have?

Jesus talks about this attitude of ours towards forgiveness in Matthew, Chapter 18 through the parable of the unforgiving servant. You remember the story: a king forgives a servant who owed him 10,000 talents (roughly 150,000 years worth of wages) and surprise – couldn’t pay his debts. Then this same man finds a fellow servant who owed him just 100 denari (about 100 days wages) and demands payment, refusing to hear the man’s pleas for mercy. The king then confronts the man whom he had first pardoned, saying “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?” Then the king delivers the servant to the torturers until he can pay all that is owed. “So my heavenly Father will also do to you,” Jesus concludes, “if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”

Do you know those old iron ball and chains that prisoners in Saturday morning cartoons used to wear? Anywhere they went, they had to drag that heavy weight behind them. That’s what un-forgiveness is like. When you think about it, it’s pretty hard to do anything for Christ with a deadweight shackled to our ankles. Even in my youth, I have spent too many years dragging around that ball and chain. Not only does it make us weary and bitter, but it also separates us from open communion with God. Mark 11:25-26 tells us that if we “have anything against anyone, forgive him that your Father in heaven may also forgive your trespasses.” There is no way around it, my dear friend: We cannot stand before God with the prison weight of un-forgiveness strapped to us. And I ask you, what is more torturous to a Christian than being distant from the Lord? Whether it is their first or five-hundredth offense, we must be able to let the sins of others go and wipe the slate clean; Otherwise, it becomes our own personal burden to bear.

~Your Sister,

Lauren

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Take Heart My Battle Weary Sister

Dear sister,

I remember the last time we talked you mentioned you were dealing with a particular sin in your life and tonight you feel like your progress in putting it to death has been slow and unfruitful. After all it’s been two years since you were made aware of your sin and the Lord in His kindness led you to repentance. Yet here you are, still repenting of and still slipping back into the sin you are trying so hard to destroy. The cycle seems endless.

Dear one, I am here to remind you (and myself!) or perhaps tell you for the first time that your pursuit is not hopeless and the cycle is not endless. One day, the Lord will wipe every tear from our eyes and we will be free from all unrighteousness, perfectly spotless, standing in the glory of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Therefore, dear sister, because of this hope we have in Christ, continue to confess your sin to God for He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin (I John 1:9). Remember that when Christ died on the cross he paid for every sin we would ever commit past, present, and future. Christ took the wrath of God for you. This means, dear one, that if you are in Christ there is no wrath…none. It’s gone! Christ took it all. All that is left for you is His flowing streams of forgiveness and His mercies that are new every day. So dearest sister, remember that the sin you are fighting is paid for and that Christ died so that we could have freedom from sin, meaning your fight is not in vain. Therefore, continue training yourself in righteousness and do not lose heart. Though you may lose the battle, Christ has already won the war. And no matter how many battles you win or lose, you are Christ’s.

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).

In Christ’s unfailing love,

Kayla

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Go… Run… Now!

My dear sister,

We have walked together down this long road before. In fact I can still hear your voice the last time we trod through this valley…”I want my denarii back; ALL OF IT!!!”  It broke my heart then dear sister to hear you proclaim UN-forgiveness toward your brother in Christ and to demand retribution for his sin against you.  Was he wrong? Yes!  Did he owe you his humble apology? Yes!  Did he walk in repentance and full obedience to his LORD succeeding his forgiveness? Yes, it is evident to all that he did and that he surely has!

But there you were and here we are once more, faced with the bitter truth that your heart has held on to his sin against you. My heart breaks again for you my dear sister; as one beggar for another who is desperately hungry for the Bread of Life. For isn’t it now you sweet sister who is in need of forgiveness?  Christ our glorious Savior left your sin (and mine) at the cross …. isn’t that where you ought to leave your brother’s? GO dear sister.  Indeed RUN to him NOW and seek his forgiveness for your UN-forgiveness toward him.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  Eph. 4:32

Your sister~

Susan

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Forgiveness: Paid in full!!!

Dear Sister,

I got frustrated with my nine month old…again.  I needed to run that red light or I would be late for my meeting.  My husband is the one that cheated on me; he is the one that needs to ask for forgiveness.

I really think that I tend to rank my sins!  There are the little ones that come just because we are born in sin…you know, frustration at my child and husband, eating more chocolate than I need, or even running a red light when I’m in a hurry.  Then there are the big ones:  Adultery, pornography, eating disorders.  That must mean that forgiveness follows that same ranking, right?  Well, actually, no it does not.  The bible clearly states that the wages of sins is death (Rom 6:23).  EVERY sin deserves death…even the ones I think can be excused or ignored.  That also means that my sin of gluttony or frustration has the same penalty as the one who commits murder.  Wow.  That also means that Jesus dying on the cross pays for the death that frustration, rape and murder deserve.  Wow.  Forgiveness begins with knowing how much we have been forgiven because of what Christ has done.  With His forgiveness comes our responsibility for forgiving others.  We have been forgiven much, we need to now forgive others (Col 3:13).  But what does that look like?

My dear friend, forgiveness is not easy.  It takes real humility.  It means that you are canceling the debt that someone owes you and paying for it yourself.  Someone has to pay for the sin.  We want the other person to pay for the hurt but forgiveness says that you in fact, pay for the hurt that was done to you!  Wow, that is not easy!  It does not mean forgetting; let’s face it that is impossible.  But it does mean not holding that sin against the person even if you have an occasion to bring it back up to them.  It also means that you do not tell your best friend or mom about what your husband or friend has done to you.  You are not free to gossip to others about a sin that you have cancelled.  That is not easy.  That takes humility.

I’ve struggled with forgiveness in another way.  I say that I forgive my friend for gossiping about me but then a week, a month, or years later I find those same angry feelings spewing up from my gut once again.  But I thought I had forgiven her?  Yes, forgiveness is an event when you tell someone you forgive them.  But it is also a process.  Those hurt feelings will come up again and you will need to continue to forgive the person.  It is an event and also a process.  Thinking of it like this will help you not become bitter and angry which are sins in themselves.

Forgiveness is not easy.  It really does take humility. This humility is seen by Jesus who gave up the riches of heaven to become a man and die on the cross for us (Phil 2).  He is our example.  Remember that He forgives us for EVERY sin we have ever or will ever commit against him.  He does not hold it against us; in fact, he paid the penalty for each sin.  He continues to forgive us even when we commit the same sin again, even when we fail to forgive others.  Oh I pray that I will be quick to forgive!  I pray that I will remember how much I have been forgiven so I can forgive others who sin against me.  No sin is too small to forgive.  No sin is too big to forgive.  You see, forgiveness begins and ends with the cross.  Jesus is our example and our ultimate hope for the forgiveness of all sins.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen

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Disappointment with Self

Dear sister,

Does this voice taunt you too?  “You can’t do it.  You’re not good enough.  Why even try?”  The enemy of our souls is at work every day, convincing us that we cannot do what God has called us to do.  That fact, combined with unmet expectations for ourselves, makes a deadly duo.  I struggle with this often.  On the outside, I appear to have it all together, but just like you, there are very real discouragements, disappointments with unmet personal goals, as well as expectations others may have for me.  How can we hear the still, small voice of God in the midst of this cacophony?

The answer, dear sister, lies in the truth of our adoption in Christ, His perfect love for us, and the sacrifice He made for us on the cross.  We find encouragement from Romans 8:32, “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”

I took a walk today, discouraged with myself and wanting to listen closely to God’s love for me…. and I was reminded of this truth.  God is not disappointed with me.  He sees my beginning and end, and He planned it all!  Of course this is not an excuse for sin to abound, as we see in Romans 6, “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?”; but I fear that all too often we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves.  We strive to be all the world, our families, or our churches want us to be…and are not resting in the simple truth of who our Father God has said we are.  You, dear sister, are His beloved.  He bought you with His precious blood, and He would do it all over again, even if you were His only child.  The world, the flesh and the devil skew this message, but if we immerse ourselves in the Word of God, we will find our true worth in Christ.

Will you commit, along with me, to something?  For every lie the enemy accuses you with, will you go to the Word and find the Truth of who you are?  Jesus himself used this tactic while in the desert with the enemy, and it will not fail you either.  I’m cheering you on, beloved sister!

In Christ

Ruth