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Oh Man, This is Love!

Dear sister,

I just finished watching a TV show where a side story was about love. Two characters are discussing it when the romantic asks his literal and cerebral girlfriend to list three reasons why she loves him. She answers matter of factly, because he loves her, he loves their daughter, and he has an amazing physique. He smiles. Then she asks him why he loves her: “I don’t need a reason.” She smiles coyly and shyly says how romantic that was. My own left-brain spins its own questions: Is love something that I will never be able to define, only feel? Can I lose or forget it? Will it really last forever? I hear my friends tell my daughter they love her and I tell my nieces and nephews that I love them. Is this the same love I have for my own daughter and husband?

I scanned my book titles to help me define love. I found some on adultery, on keeping the marriage pure, rekindling marriage, dating, parenting, and even one on loving to eat and hating to eat. None purely on what love is. Ahhhh, but there is one! It’s the oldest love story ever written and gives the true meaning of love. It tells of a married couple living in a garden who made a life ending choice that deserved death. They didn’t die right away because love promised them a deliverer to pay for their evil choice. They decided to trust in this promise and love gave them life.

Their children and children’s children continued to choose to do evil yet some of them put their trust in love’s promised deliverer. This deliverer would come and defeat the death that cursed their lives. Those who trusted in this promised one who defines love, lived forever with no curse! Then one day it happened…the promised deliverer came to earth to live like us as man, but who never chose to do evil. He lived a perfect life, loving God the Father and loving all mankind. Then in this love, he died. He was tortured and killed because of this love. But on the third day…he rose again! He conquered the curse that gives death and put His love on all those that trust and believe in Him. And this love will bring him back again to take those who trust Him to paradise!

Oh man, this is love! God is love. Jesus is love. 1 John 4:9-11 says: “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” Love is totally committed for another’s good. Love dies for the unlovely. Love serves the ungrateful. Love is faithful though His friends and family are not. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Cor 13:4-8a).

So YES!! Love can be defined…God is love. Because of what Jesus did on the cross, defeating death and giving us His righteousness I can never lose or forget love. And YES!! It really does last forever. Do we need a reason to love? It may be romantic to say no, but how amazing is it to have the ultimate reason to love not only our husbands, children, family, and friends, but also all our neighbors? Jesus is this reason. Is your love defined by Him? Sweet sister, do you love others because Christ loves you? What a great time of year to answer this question as we remember when love came down to earth. Merry Christmas!

Colleen

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He Fights for His Own

Dear sister,

May I tell you a story? The story of a young girl…

She hid behind a living room chair and waited out the burst of anger inflicted on a sibling by an adult who was hurting too. Fear rose up in her from this early memory…and stayed with her. It stayed when she thought she had to be a perfect student, afraid of failing. It plagued her when she wondered if she’d win the races, so she pushed herself harder than most. Would her worth be questioned if she lost? The fear became a friend that motivated her to succeed at a prestigious private school, and the fear led her to believe that God had abandoned her when life got difficult. Was she really not loveable? Was she not working hard enough, being a ‘good enough’ Christian, sister, friend, daughter…etc., etc.?

That was me, until the perfect love of Christ won over. 18 There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love –1 John 4:18. Perfect love pushed the pesky fear out of the dark corners of my heart, exposed the ‘lies, whys, what- ifs, maybes and shoulds’. Do you entertain these demanding houseguests too? They are no longer welcome at my home, though they still come calling. It’s better for me to look through the peephole and keep the door closed!

A dear friend confided in me once that she realized that most, if not all of her actions were motivated by fear, not love. What a telling and convicting comment. Can you relate? Why do we do what we do? Are our actions a result of love more often, or of fear? I am no different than this friend, but I have come quite a long way. Oh may we all search our hearts to see if Christ, or the enemy, is winning the battle over our lives!

I’ll leave you with two of my favorite verses on this topic… and the context of when they became dear to me.

When I lay on my sick bed in Ghana, fighting a possibly fatal bout of malaria, God seared Isaiah 41:10 on my heart. “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand.”

And another sickness, when I lay in a hospital bed in Colorado, having been diagnosed with a condition that shamed (at the time) and confused me, bills left unpaid, friends and family scattered, and life looking hopeless… I heard the words of my Savior. He promised to fight for me when I could not fight. From Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

He will fight for you, sister, and gain the victory over your fears. You are not alone, and you need not fear. Not now, not ever. Our strong and mighty God is able to hold you, comfort you, and bring you safely home.

In Christian love,
Ruth

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The Bondage and Blindness of Fear

 

My Dearest Sister,

 

Do you remember learning to swim when you were a kid? You learned in the shallow end first, trying to figure out how to coordinate kicking and paddling with keeping your head above water. A parent was probably right there with you, holding you up and cheering you on. Once you had the shallow end figured out though, it came time to move on to the deep end. For me, I remember standing at the edge of the pool, looking into the deep water just beyond my toes and being terrified I would just sink right to the bottom. My dad was in the water, holding out his arms, encouraging me to jump. He assured me he would be right there to keep me safe. But still, I was afraid. I wanted to leap right in and prove that I could swim but I just couldn’t force myself to move. Fear of not being able to swim had petrified me. Eventually I did jump and my dad caught me like he promised. However, I distinctly remember that crippling feeling of fear that had caused me to doubt, both in my ability to swim and my dad’s ability to protect me.

Fears, even our silly childhood ones, are powerful aren’t they? They makes us feel weak and helpless. When allowed to run rampant, our fears become a form of bondage. They can even hinder our faith. You see, when we give in to fear, it keeps us from living life like we serve a sovereign God who has our good in mind. That is why fear is one of the devil’s favorite weapons against us, because it works so well at bringing us down and making us forget just how powerful our God really is. The good news is, we don’t have to believe these lies from the enemy. We can break free from the captivity of our fears by first remembering the truth of God’s word. Romans 8:15 says “For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out ‘Abba, Father’.” Because of God’s marvelous grace in sending His Son to pay the price for our sins, He set us free from this bondage of fear by adopting us into His family. The word “Abba” here is a more intimate name for one’s father, like “Daddy” or “Papa”. To Him, we are not just some non-related adopted kid; we are His beloved children and He is our wonderful Daddy! And like a child who is afraid, all we have to do is cry out to our Father, our loving Papa, and He will come to our aid. Hebrews 13:5b-6 assures us of this as well: “For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” Unlike some earthly fathers, God will never walk out on His children. He will always be there to help us, not matter what we are up against.

One of my favorite stories about overcoming fear comes from 2 Kings 6:8-23. Here it is in a nutshell: The king of Syria was angry at Elisha for revealing the secret location of his army to Israel, so he sent a great army to the city where Elisha was staying. When Elisha’s servant woke up in the morning and saw this massive army with all their horses and chariots surrounding the city, he was terrified (I don’t blame him!). He runs to Elisha and says “Master! What are we going to do?” And I can imagine Elisha sitting there, maybe eating a bit of breakfast, and as calm as can be assures his servant that everything is going to be okay. He says in verse 16, “Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” The passage goes on to say that “Elisha prayed, and said ‘Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.’ Then the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.” Wow! I love how amazingly powerful that story is! Elisha knew all along that God would protect him, never leaving or forsaking him. He knew the Lord intimately as his helper, his Abba Father, and so he had no need to fear, even when an entire army was against him.

Even though Elisha’s servant had probably seen some pretty amazing things in his time with this prophet of God, his first response to a daunting situation was driven by fear. He was so worried about the situation at hand that he forgot how powerful his master’s Lord was. When I am afraid I admit that I feel a lot like Elisha’s servant. My human weakness wants to focus on the source of my fear and doubt sets in. I become bound by it and panic like Elisha’s servant did. Even though I know God is powerful, my fear keeps me from being able to see it. So overcoming fear is not just about knowing God promises to never forsake us; It’s about looking past what we are afraid of so we can see that He has been there with us all along. I don’t want to be like Elisha’s servant and be blinded by my fears. I want to be like Elisha and be able to see God’s presence so clearly in my life, that there isn’t even a chance for me to feel afraid in the first place. I want to have that same unwavering confidence and faith that my Father is with me wherever I go, through whatever danger or struggle I face.

Beloved sister, if you are crippled by fear in your life and can’t see the army of protection God has around you, just cry out to Him like Elisha did for his servant. Cry out “Abba, Father!” and ask Him to open your eyes to see the truth of His protection and power. Ask Him to change your perspective to see things not with blinded human eyes, but through a spiritual lens where God’s presence is evident. As children of God, we shouldn’t live under the bondage of fear. Instead, we should embrace the freedom that our Father has provided for us, so that we may boldly declare “The Lord is my helper! I will fear no more!” We should be able to stand like a little child at the deep end of a pool and jump without a second thought, knowing that our Daddy – our beloved Abba – is there with outstretched arms waiting to catch us.

 

Your Unafraid Sister in Christ,

~ Lauren

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Casting My Fear

Dear sister,

I have a confession to make. (What else is new, right?) I have to confess to you that I spend more, if not most of my time, living in fear. Living in fear of the past, living in fear of the present, and living in fear of the future, in fear of the unknown. I know now, you’re saying, “But, Kayla, you have Jesus. You know Him personally. Why should you be afraid?” I don’t have a good answer. Only that I’m a sinner. And as a sinner I am naturally disposed to fear. I would rather live in fear of life (essentially) than put my trust wholly in a sovereign God. I know it’s silly and it doesn’t make sense, but there it is. Now I can hear you saying, “Oh but Kayla, our God is wholly trustworthy; He is sovereign; He knows the plans He has for you. He is with you; there is no need to fear.” I know. I really do. But even in the knowledge of that truth, doubts still arise. A part of me still says, “God won’t be faithful. He will forget about you. He will not bring His plans for you to fruition. Your faith is futile.” I am not God and because of this my knowledge is limited and I can only see my life from one vantage point—the present. I can look back on the past and see God’s hand in those things that I once did not understand but only because I am now in the present. I cannot see God’s hand at work presently because the future is still unknown. The unknown future will one day be the known present but in the meantime I find it hard to believe and hard to trust that God will bring it about because I can’t see how I am going to get there. And so, I’m fearful. I’m scared that it won’t work out, that maybe I won’t get married and I won’t raise a family; the two things that I am unquenchably longing for in my life.

If we read Scripture, it is overtly clear that God does not want us to live this way, dear sister! He doesn’t want us to be fearful. He wants us to trust! He wants us to cast ALL our anxieties on Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5: 7). He doesn’t want us to worry but He wants us to bring all our requests to Him in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving (Philippians 4: 6-7). He tells us numerous times not to fear and commands us saying, “Do not be afraid.”

So, now I and possibly you as well have a decision to make, dear sister. We must choose now to forsake the temptation to fear because we are uncertain of how the future will work out. Instead we must cling to the precious promises of our God and Savior. We must trust that He will be faithful, that He will, as the popular hymn says, grant our desires through what He ordains. The exciting thing, dear sister, is that one of God’s attributes is faithfulness. It is a part of His character to be faithful and He cannot deny Himself. This means that God cannot be unfaithful ! It is impossible for Him to fail in His faithfulness to us! Revel in the knowledge of that truth!!! Forsake fear and trust in the faithfulness of our great and mighty God!

Under His wing,

Kayla

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Rejoicing in the Fear of the Lord

Dearest Sister,

Did you know that fear is the number one reason women seek counsel? Sometimes the fear is creatively disguised and sometimes it has become a cherished object of affection. Either way, eventually there is a collapse of sorts that takes place when this burden is carried for too long. The crumbling, crippling effects are far reaching, and our running or fighting inevitably become ineffectual at some point.

God has promised us sister that we are His new creations! He has promised to complete the work He began in us when our hearts were first regenerated by His Holy Spirit! He has given us the power to put off our fears (as deeply rooted as some of them are) and to put on the One fear that will deliver us from this burden, which is to Fear Him.

Consider these words from our heavenly Father:

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding. His praise endures forever!” (Psalms 111:10 ESV)

“In the fear of the LORD there is a strong confidence and His children will have a place of refuge.” (Proverbs 14:26)

“And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, and strength of salvation: the fear of the Lord is his treasure.” (Isaiah 33:6 KJV)

“The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.” (Proverbs 19:23 ESV)

The thing about sinful (unhealthy) fear is, it is based on our looking inwardly. That is why the antidote (the put on) is to focus outwardly and upward. Just like most things that are lasting and valuable it takes repetition for us to “get it”! That is why Paul exhorts the Philippians (4:4) to “rejoice…always…and again I say rejoice”. This upward outward focus sets our hearts aright.

But we are not done sister; then we are to let go! Paul puts it this way;”Let your gentleness (graciousness,reasonableness) be made known to all men”. Not just sometimes, or selectively, but all the time in front of everyone. We cannot be gracious to others if we are holding on to our fears. The first takes an open hand if you will, and the second is a clenched fist.

If that doesn’t stop us in our fearful tracks Paul’s next statement will;”The Lord is at hand”. Wow, imagine living our lives as if the Lord Jesus was about to return at any moment. Would you or I want our eyes and heart to be fixed inwardly upon our fear or would we want to be looking up with exuberant anticipation to see His return? (Philippians 4:5)

Lastly, Paul says be thankful! Fear has a way of robbing our joyful gratitude, it has a way of becoming a stumbling block to us. Paul insists that if we approach all things with a thankful heart that the “peace of God will guard our hearts”. What a lovely picture sister: God our Father setting up post in our hearts to protect us from ourselves, the world and the enemy. (Philippians 4:6-7)

Fearing the Lord (our “putting on”) entails all of these imperatives: rejoicing in the Lord, Trusting the Lord, anticipating the Lord’s return, thanksgiving, Prayer and supplication which is intentional relating with the Lord. This is how we put off and put on sister. This is how we are progressively sanctified. This is how we are able to rejoice in the fear of the Lord.

Your Sister,
Susan