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A Gentle Tongue; a Tree of Life

Dear sister,

Proverbs 15:4 says, “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” In Bible study last week we talked about what it means to be gentle. Another word for gentleness that you may also find in the Scripture is meekness. We discussed that meekness or gentleness is power under control. The tongue is a powerful device of the body. It holds both the power to kill and the power to give life. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” If we are to have a gentle tongue we must exercise control over its power.

Words can hurt—even when people don’t mean to hurt us with them we can still find ourselves deeply wounded by them. They are even more painful when the words come from the mouth of a beloved friend or family member. It can take a long time to heal from the emotional damage that is caused by careless speech.

For me, I can still remember the words that a close friend said to me one day while we were having coffee together. To this day they still hurt and to this day she is still unaware of the pain she caused in just one sentence of our conversation. It is in these moments of mournful remembrance that I am tempted to pity myself and tell myself, “I didn’t deserve that. Who does she think she is?” and then I catch myself. I’m not perfect. There have probably been numerous times when I have hurt others with my words without being aware of it. I simply cannot pass judgment on my friend without also passing judgment on myself.

Whatever our words have been in the past we must strive to speak with gentleness now and in the future. Proverbs 15 says the ‘gentle tongue is a tree of life.’ Imagine a prospering tree. It is big, strong and tall. Its leaves are green and vibrant and it stands firm through any storm. If we control the power of our tongue we can be a tree of life to others; we can bringing healing and give life. The alternative is brokenness and death.
What will your words be marked by?
Striving with you,
Kayla

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Shush!

Dear Sisters,

I know it all. At least I like to think I do. As you can imagine, I often find myself needing to apologize. I loathe apologizing! So, when I read a devotion about an obscure verse in Proverbs advocating an approach that did not involve apologizing for my verbal errors, you can be sure I paid attention.

“If you have been foolish in exalting yourself or if you have plotted evil, put your hand on your mouth.” Proverbs 30:32

Dr. Gil Stieglitz points out, ”God’s inspired words — through Agur the son of Jakeh — gives us a very interesting solution to the problem of bragging about yourself or foolish self-promotion. He doesn’t say what one would think would be said — that you should apologize and admit you were guilty. Because if you did you would still be drawing attention to yourself…. The solution is to just stop talking. Put a hand over your mouth. Let the conversation go on without you. Let someone else determine the topic. Most likely they will not pick you as the topic. This will allow you to blend into the group and or to allow conversations about people and things that brings balance to the conversation.”

When I have stopped to think back over my conversations with others through the day, I often blush wondering how I could have thought some of my comments wise. At times in the midst of my silly diatribes, I have tried to bumble my way through an apology, searching for appropriate words, missing the opportunity and the mark. How much better it would be (though in many ways, harder) to just fade into the background, silent.

Something else is implied in the verse—yes, I may at times speak without wisdom and need to still my tongue; but first, I have to recognize the Holy Spirit is telling me to, “Shush!” Dear Sisters, until I reach the point of only speaking wisely, I pray I may always feel the nudge of the Spirit to close my mouth so I may not further myself when I should have only been singing His praises.

Running with you,

Rebecca

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Words with a Purpose

My dear sister,

This month the topic is “the tongue”; and so as I pondered that, several instances, phrases and bible verses came to my mind. It has taken prayerful consideration for the Lord to put in order all the ideas converging in my head and my heart.

Many years ago I heard the term; “she has a tongue hinged in the middle”. I am not sure about you but that picture in my mind, with the help of my imagination made me laugh. That is until I met someone in which my imagination was not necessary! In fact, while listening to this person talk (and talk, and talk….) I found myself staring past her lips into her mouth as it open and shut (completely tuning out her words mind you) to see if I could catch a glimpse of a shiny hinge within.

What this term means is that someone can say one thing to one person’s face and then turn around and say to another person something different, and usually it’s bad about the person they just had spoken to! This was the term used in my Mother’s generation for what my generation called; being two faced.

Speaking of my Mom, she used to say to me and my siblings; “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!” Her hope as a widowed mother of five, I am certain (because she told me later) was to have some peace and quiet in her home. Needless to say, her words of advice along with my acute observations of my older siblings who did not heed her wisdom and the resulting consequences of their actions, had a very strong impact upon my personality. I am a fairly quiet person!

Somewhere in between these two pieces of advice must be a balance right? Amy Carmichael once wrote that before she spoke she would ask herself three little questions: “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” this gave me some comfort! Speaking (communicating) is a good thing, a God given thing. But it does come with some responsibility and that means it is to be thoughtful! These three questions help me stay within the lines of God’s character, and His will for me as given in His word.

Is it true? One of God’s commandments given to the Israelites was : “thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor” (Exodus 20:16) Did you know that our tongues and the words we speak come directly from our hearts? (Matthew 15:17-20) when you and I engage in conversation it is very revealing as to what rules our hearts! While speaking with others do we lack in the truth factor? Do we impute motives where we are not sure because we have not bothered to check the facts or maybe the story or information sounds better if said this way versus the truth? Paul exhorts all Christians to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).

Which brings me to the second question; Is it kind? Is love the motivation for what is being said? Not the world’s definition of love but God’s definition of love. I Corinthians 13:4-8 ; “patient and kind, does not envy, does not parade itself, is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”. When measured by God’s standard of love I find myself falling short most of the time. However, for those rare times when what I am about to say passes the litmus test of the first two questions, it is that third question that compels me to be silent.

Is it necessary? Once again I am challenged within my heart to examine my desires. What motivates my speech (conversation)? Is it necessary according to my own selfish desires? “I must be heard on the matter”, “I am right they are wrong and the matter must be rectified” Is every single detail important? Psalm 52:4 stops me in my tracks often; “you love all devouring words you deceitful tongue!”. Our words do have a purpose, they are to build each other up not to tear each other down!

May I encourage you dear friend? Take some time out of your day today (do not put it off til another day) to do a personal study in God’s word on the tongue. Here are some helpful places to start:

Psalm 5:9; 10:7; 12:4; 139:4 Proverbs 10:20; 10:31; 15:4; 18:21; 21:23

These are just a tiny fraction of what our faithful Father in heaven has to say about our tongues. I will warn you, be prepared to change the way you speak to others (especially those you love)! I know my habits have changed drastically over the last twenty years.

Blessings from your sister,
Susan

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When Did Words Become So Powerful?

My dear sisters,

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will break my heart.” That was the first line to a song I used to play when I was a kid. Funny how most of us think it’s the other way around. I’ve also heard the phrase, “words can heal, words can kill”. True. I’ve been on both sides of that equation, have you? I also remember one of my students in Thailand asking me, “Ms. Colleen, how do words become “bad words”? Great question! Why do words have so much power and what makes them good or bad?

James asks a similar question (Chpt 3):

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet hit boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers,3 these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

WOW! I don’t know about you, but that digs deep and is worth a second read. First we see that we all stumble with our words. We all have a palate for shoe leather. None of us can control our tongue and we can start a fire of sin and pain with what spews forth. Even the wildest animals can be tamed, but we cannot tame our tongue. We are hypocrites, saying we love God on Sunday or during small group and then we curse God for some circumstance or person in our lives. Ouch. I’ve done that, have you? Our tongue has a root that anchors in our hearts. In fact, the Bible says that out of the outflow of our hearts, the tongue speaks. So what is in our hearts, dear sister? Are they on the foundation of what we have in Christ? Do we fill our hearts with the truth of the gospel and the forgiveness of our sin or the gripes of the world and selfishness?

Even with this knowledge, we know we will fail. What is our hope when that happens? Our hope is in Christ. He spoke perfectly in our place! He paid the price for our evil tongue! He took the wrath of our unguarded speech so that our speech is now His!

Yes, words can heal and kill. Words can break our heart. And what about “bad words”? Bad words are those that come from a heart fixed on its own desires and feelings, not Christ. Words that heal come from a heart that honors Christ. Words that break hearts come from a heart that loves self more than Christ. Sweet sister, speak from a heart that seeks to glorify Christ and your tongue will become as healing as Christ’s!

~ Colleen

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Patience Unto Eternity

My Dearest Sister,

​Let’s be honest with each other: Life is hard and seemingly unfair sometimes. And while I’d like to say that I have mastered the valuable skill of patience in the face of those unavoidable hardships, that would be completely untrue. In fact I think most people, even most Christians, struggle with this particular fruit of the Spirit. It’s not difficult to determine why when we see that patience is defined as “the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.” So basically, being able to handle the complete sum of life’s problems without so much as batting an eyelash. Yeah, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think that’s easy for anyone.

​I have always marveled at how simple yet how elusive the concept of patience seems to be. After all, if God calls us to practice it, then surely it should be something that we are capable of doing on a regular basis. I think, however, that the majority of our inability to have true biblical patience lies in the fact that the world and God have two very different ideas about it. It’s another one of those classic sin-versus-righteousness-scenarios that all too often plays itself out in our daily lives. You see, the world teaches us that everything revolves around the here and now. To be truly happy, we have to put ourselves first, doing whatever pleases our fancy because it’s all about enjoying this life to the fullest. Why else do you think that the entire nation owes over 11 trillion dollars in credit card debt? Because they have to have what they want, NOW! Patience simply has no place in the humanistic – and by extension materialistic – lifestyle.

​God’s idea, on the other hand, is quite different. As Christians, we know that this life is temporary, gone in the blink of an eye, and that there is a greater, eternal life to come. Hebrews 6:11-12 speaks about the attitude we are to have toward this life: “And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope until the end, that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.” The world doesn’t have a promise for anyone’s future; All it can guarantee is the here and now. God, however, has given “exceedingly great and precious promises” to those He calls His children (2 Peter 1:4). If you’re unfamiliar with them, just read the Book of Revelation for starters. There is something better at the end of this life and so we are content to have patience, even if it means suffering through hardships and trials along the way.

​James 5:10-11 gives us an example of this patience through earthly sorrows: “My brethren, take the prophets, who spoke in the name of the Lord, as an example of suffering and patience. Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord – that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.” Many of the prophets of God were tortured and brutally killed for speaking in His name, yet not for one second did they stop persevering down the path to which God had called them. They knew the end the Lord had intended for them, one full of compassion and mercy. It is because of their unshakeable faith in this promise, that they were able to have patience, even in the midst of their suffering. Job, on the other hand, had everything stripped from him but his life and still he faithfully served the Lord. It was because of his faith and patience that he was rewarded in the end with even more prosperity than he had before.

​Now thankfully, most of us do not face the daily horror of being physically persecuted for our faith or losing our homes, family, and health in one fell swoop. But even if we did, we can be sure that all of our suffering has first passed through our Father’s hands. As Proverbs 20:24 says “A man’s steps are of the Lord; How then can a man understand his own way?” It’s easy to feel like God has abandoned us when we are in the midst of earthly struggles and life has not turned out as we planned. Often times the last thing we want to do is have patience for this glorious end that feels so very far away from the here and now. But sister, let me assure you that God has planned every step of the journey. While there will be times when we will suffer more than we ever thought possible, we do not need to fear or doubt, for His promise to the prophets is the same as His promise to you and I: He has an end in mind that is for our good and His glory, one where He can finally pour out His full compassion and mercy on our souls. Have patience for that end dear sister, no matter what struggles we face in the meantime. We can’t afford to become short-sighted and lost in the sorrows of this life, not when we know the glory that awaits us in eternity.
​As I finish this letter, I am reminded of a hymn I learned as a child and it seems fitting to close with it here:

​“It will be worth it all, when we see Jesus.
​Life’s trials will seem so small, when we see Christ.
​One glimpse of His dear face, all sorrows will erase.
​So bravely run the race till we see Christ.”

​Remember the promises of God about your glorious future, my dearest sister, for they will give you the patience to endure even the toughest of life’s hardships.
​
​Your dear friend and sister in Christ,
​~ Lauren