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Spiritual Motherhood

Precious Sisters in the Lord,

Today is Mother’s Day, and as Christian women, regardless of our age, we are all privileged to celebrate motherhood in a different sense—spiritual motherhood. Indeed, even for those who have not yet had children, or may never bear children, spiritual motherhood is our privilege—and our calling.

Consider the specific command we are given by Paul in Titus 2: 3-5. Here it is:

3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

Notice the particular diction: to be reverent…teaching…encourage. As the Beloved of God, especially chosen by Him for His glory and delight, we can thankfully embark on our high and unique calling to be reverent, to teach and to encourage.

Allow me first to clear up something. When Paul refers to the “older women” this does not mean age, but maturity, particularly, maturity in our Christian faith. I am astounded, Sisters, at the profound, letters that you write, bringing it all home to my heart, allowing me to experience your concerns, your joys and even your pains, then applying Scriptural sensibility to life situations. You may be younger in years, Little Sisters, but you are richly blessed in Christian maturity through your knowledge of the Bible and special applications you continuously make. Good for you—and good for us!

Now, to be reverent should be the passion for every Christian. God is holy, holy, holy. (I keep mentioning that because it keeps humbling, humbling, humbling me.) How else could we stand before God except on our knees or on our face! Our behavior in everything, what we say, what we do, how we respond, should always give glory to God. (Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. Colossians 3: 17) What a wonderful way to participate in motherhood—to reflect our love for God at the supermarket, in our work, when we ask for help or address a problem, how we dress for church, where we go for recreation, what we do in service for God and community! The younger women, those ladies who are beginning to realize their need for God, or who are new in the faith, are watching with wide open eyes. I remember the first Christian church my husband and I attended, where I took mental notes on everything Christian women said or did, so that I would learn to act properly and pleasing to God. What a conviction came my way when the Holy Spirit made me aware that we are all sinners, and that our true and only model should be Jesus Christ! But these sweet ladies already knew that!

Also, in Titus 2, we are called to teach, as well. Some of you may already be teachers in Sunday school or homeschooling or Vacation Bible School. But even outside of these activities, God calls all of us to teach little ones the way that pleases Him. In Proverbs 22: 6, we are told: Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it. Spiritual Motherhood is exemplified when we pray for the unborn, the newborn, the tweens and the teens, when we are asked to give advice or counsel to college students or to an engaged couple. Our Motherhood Manual should always be the same—the Holy Bible. What joy it is to see a young person respond well to a situation for the good guidance or warning that we give—all to the glory of God!

Now remember, there is a third admonition for Spiritual Motherhood, and that is, to encourage. Here, we obey God by presenting the Truth of His word to a world that, without Christ as Savior, will perish eternally. When we are confronted by unbelievers and we respond by leading them to the Lord with a word kindly spoken, when we are called to the bedside of a sick person and we read the Scriptures or sing a spiritual song to them, when we visit grieving friends and we place our arms around them and say, “I am here for you”, all of these are only small ways that we can encourage. Women are already designed to be nurturing, comforting, understanding and giving. Now that is a great combination of God-given qualities to make us encouraging Mothers!

To my special Sisters who long to be married and have a family, who are married and are unable to start a family, or whose children are estranged from them, allow me to be your encouraging Mother. Trust in the grace of our Sovereign God Who knitted us in our mother’s womb. Believe that He Who is all-knowing and all-powerful will finish His work in you, for His glory—even if it is not as we would want. Be ready in all seasons to serve Him as teacher and encourager to women and children who need to draw close to Jesus Christ, our all in all.

And so, Dear Sisters, if you believe Mother’s Day is only for women flanked by little ones—or big ones who return to the nest—reflect on Titus 2, and celebrate a Happy Mother’s Day—every day!

Mimi

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Pray More and Lecture Less

Dear Sisters,

I have five children. I should be an expert on motherhood. I am not. The longer I parent, the more I am driven to my knees—not just in despair, but joy. Let me illustrate—the other day my 3 year old and I had this conversation in the bathroom:
Me: “Seth, please pick up the bath mat.”
Seth: “What is that?” (Pointing to the bath mat.)
Me: “A bath mat.”
Seth: “No, what is that?”
Me: “A bath mat.”
Seth: “No, what is that?”
Me: “An elephant.” (Makes trumpeting sound.)
Seth: “Ah, ok.”
Me: “!”

Don’t worry, this lovable, wonderful tow-headed toddler is the same one who will often hit his brothers with a toy car when he doesn’t get his way. We do not have a house full of lollipop children. We have a pre-teen over whom we bang our heads against the wall—and likewise thank God for blessing us with her, especially when she watches the rest of the kids so we can run away, err, take a break from time to time.

The kids probably think of me similarly: Mom cooks for me, does my laundry, and loves me—except when she is rampaging around the house about all the things I was supposed to get done, but forgot (or did, but the aforementioned cute toddler came behind me and undid everything).

No, I am not perfect. I love my kids. I want the very best for them. I yearn to see them choose to act with godly wisdom and to be filled with Christ’s love. I have to spend time on my knees for my kids—because I am not perfect (nor are they) and in our most wonderful moments, I know God is much more responsible and deserving of glory than I. Reading Philippians the other night, I came across a passage that reflects my heart for my children.

“For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:8-11.

Paul was, after all, a type of parent to these new churches and did have a parent-like vision for his people. It occurs to me that even Paul was not able to simply inspire people to become model Christians. He too, had to pray and ask God to develop Christ’s heart in his people. The message this mother received is, “Pray more, lecture less, and trumpet more about bath mats!”

Running with you,

Rebecca

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Letter to Mom

Hello, sister,

Another month has passed already and it is time for me to write to you again. The days pass just a little too quickly, don’t they? This month I get to write to you about motherhood. But first I have to disclose something to you: I’m not a mom.

Nope. I’m not a mom, and actually I’m single (very single, in fact). At first, I didn’t know how I was going to write this letter to you without having my MOM degree. Then I realized that I am actually getting a pretty sweet deal. I get to tell you all about my wonderful mother and what a strong example she’s set for me right before Mother’s Day. Even if I manage to forget to buy her flowers, she can’t be angry with me, right?

I love my mom. Not many daughters can call their mom their best friend, but I have the incredible privilege of being one of the few who can. She has diligently raised me up in the fear and admonition of the Lord, taught me about life, and is there for me when I fall, need a helping hand, or a shoulder to cry on. She is my safe zone. I can confide in her unreservedly. She knows my struggles, my fears, and even my silly and vain thoughts.

In all things—the good, the bad, and the hard—she lovingly understands, is honest and encouraging, and always points me back to Christ, guiding me to the path of godliness when I have forgotten the way. We laugh together, cry together, confide in each other, and support each other.

My mother is also a woman of great faith. She has stood firm through all these years of raising my brother and I, even through some pretty tough storms. She loves her husband faithfully, submitting to and respecting him and cares for her children tenderly and gracefully.

She is everything a mother should be and more. I cannot adequately describe her qualities of faith, love and grace and I am so thankful that the Lord has blessed me with her and I pray that when my time does come to be a mother that I will be just like her.

My mom and I do have a beautiful relationship now, but it wasn’t always like this. When I was younger, I kept to myself and refused to be vulnerable with my parents. But the Lord redeemed our relationship and taught me the importance of being vulnerable with my parents and letting them into my life.

So daughters, I encourage you to get to know your mom. Be vulnerable with her and give her the opportunity to shower you with her wisdom and love. Strive to be like her. And then when you have little ones of your own (or maybe you already do) you will be able to pass on the same faith and the same legacy that your mom passed on to you.

Remember Mom this week. She’s given you more than you will ever be able to repay.

In the love of the Savior,

Kayla

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The Sanctity of Motherhood

Dear sister,

What comes to your mind when you read “motherhood”? Your mom? Your best friend’s mom? The mom with the screaming kid at the park or grocery store? Sleepless nights? A good day being one where you actually get out of your PJ’s and into the shower? I actually asked my husband, some friends and my 12 year old niece this very questions. None of their answers were the same. Interesting.

My husband talked about how he was impacted by a professor who said believers find great stability, comfort, love, and protection in the tightly harmonious relationship of the Trinity. Believers know the Father, Son, and Spirit deeply love each other and that we can never come between them. He then tied it to parenting, in that to be a good parent is to have an unbreakable, loving, joyful marriage in the Lord for the child to see, to find protection, love, and comfort in. My husband then remarked how many women separate being a mother from being a wife and that being a good mother in many ways begins by being a good wife who fights a for healthy marriage that glorifies the Lord. I really think this is true, but I also know many Godly mothers that do not have a husband who serves the Lord or a husband at all.

My niece then said motherhood makes her think of discipline, cooking, cleaning, teaching, and being willing to apologize to her children when she fails. I think there is a ring of truth in this as well. I find this true in both my mom’s and in my life. Yet there are good moms who have to work and have outside help for these tasks and chores.

I love what my friend wrote because you feel the incessant thoughts that every mom has:

Motherhood is a broad subject. The first verse that popped into my mind was John 15:13: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” I think I’ve told you how I would remember that verse when I was wiping pee off the toilet and doing the same tasks every day. Motherhood is a self-sacrifice to raise the next generation. Or you could talk about the importance of motherhood in raising the next generation. Like laying a firm foundation of love, stability, faith, morality, worldview, work ethic, etc. under your children. Or you could talk about how Christ uses our vocation of motherhood to sanctify us. We can’t accomplish this great task without divine help. Our weaknesses, selfishness, laziness, etc. is exposed under the daily necessity of keeping our kids alive.

AMEN! Many other women have told me about the self-sacrifice of Motherhood. How there is no “me” or “what I want” any longer…only what our children and/or husband needs. Take heart sweet sister, Christ is our example. He gave his life for others…why? To glorify the Father and to be an example for us. He washed feet, he stayed up late, he submits to the Father, He cries with us, and he gave up his life to save us. So moms and future moms, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind and love your neighbor (children) as yourself. Fear the Lord. Know in your weakness he is strong. Motherhood is a gift and sacrifice that we cannot do on our own. Let me close with the Scripture that my niece memorized when she is struggling: Hebrews 4:14-16 “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

~ Colleen

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Joy: It’s Worth the Fight

Sweet sister,

Rugged mountain terrain in rural Guatemala, remote villages in the African bush, busy street vendors in Mexico City, they all bring memories of brilliant smiles from joyful and content locals, who seemed to be naturally quite thankful, brimming with hope. I have struggled to understand why in my safe, spoiled, educated, technology-saturated, relatively unencumbered everyday life, joy and contentment seem so elusive. Perhaps I don’t know the deep struggles of those I met on all my college mission trips…. yes, I know I don’t. However, I wonder if those dear brothers and sisters abroad are faced with the need to choose joy more often, and have developed muscles that are only recently being stretched in mine?

Though married to a wonderful man that regularly covers me with love, the past two years have pushed me to the place of needing to choose, more often than ever before. Walking with a mirror of myself forced before me daily, in that beloved man, I’ve seen my miserable state of discontent, and the reality of my sin. You may be familiar with the NY Times bestseller, One Thousand Gifts? That book, that mantra to choose joy, was a lifesaver, path-changer, wisdom-giver and joy-bringer for me, in those early days of marriage. I religiously recorded my daily blessings, in hopes that I would start to believe I was blessed. There were many days, of course, when I felt the blessing and easily gave thanks. Sadly, there were many more in which I inwardly grumbled towards my God and my husband. But slowly, as days turned to weeks, months, and now years, I began to see my heart naturally (miracle of all miracles!) CHOOSE! I started to realize that not only could I choose, but also that before choosing, I was chosen by an Almighty God. The only Wise God who planned my steps, was worthy of my praise, regardless of whether I wanted to give it or not. I’ve found so much freedom in just making the choice to follow Christ, and my husband, with JOY through confusing and frustrating circumstances. I’ve found that there is victory in knowing I can be joyful even when everything around me screams that there is no option but misery, despair, hopelessness. I am living proof that joy and hope shine most brightly in the darkness. For it is there that we need it most, and are forced to fight for the air to breathe, the wind of joy that fills our souls, and gives us wings to soar over the darkest of valleys.

Oh sweet sister, though you may be tempted to give in to the depths of the pit where you have fallen, reach out a hand to a friend for help, cry out to God for His ever-present saving mercy, start recording every possible little thing you might be able to see as a gift from God. Look to the last verse in the following passage, and see that all things, even the hard things, are gifts from God. Your pain is real; so believe me when I tell you it won’t be easy to choose. But it will be worth it. In years past, as I confessed to a friend today, I tried to ignore this passage from James 1, but now it brings me sweet peace:
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do….12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him….17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.
You are chosen in the Beloved One, now it’s your turn to choose joy.
Your sister, Ruth