I am very happy to share with you that this October, I will be initiated into one of the largest yet most exclusive of womanly clubs: Motherhood. As I sit here and look down at the little belly that I know will get much bigger over the next few months, I am excited, nervous and overwhelmed with joy all at the same time. While I cannot wait to meet our little one for the first time and experience all the wonderful “firsts” of motherhood, there are so many questions I have, so many concerns about whether or not I will be a good parent. I’ve struggled with my self-worth in other areas, so I am concerned about how it will play out in the arena of motherhood. What if I don’t feel like being a wife and mother is enough for me? Will I find great joy and satisfaction in raising this child or will I feel a longing for something else, a desperation for something “more”?
Unfortunately in today’s world, there are many women who are looked down upon or even ridiculed for their choice to stay at home and raise their children instead of pursuing other interests, namely a career. Motherhood in the traditional sense has become this outdated, archaic ritual that women no longer should have to subject themselves to day in and day out. After all, why would any woman want to stay at home doing load after load of laundry, cleaning a house that always seems to be dirty, and chasing after a bunch of screaming, rambunctious children when instead they could find someone else to do those menial tasks while they go enjoy a job – and subsequently a life – of their own? Granted, some women have to work because of divorce or other financial needs; However, I think it is incredibly sad that there is a such a stigma on being “just a housewife” that many women choose to give up those precious years with their kids to chase after their own self-fulfillment elsewhere. So why is it that when I fill out the employment section of any form and write the words “homemaker,” I cringe just a little bit on the inside? You see, this cultural standard of striving after success outside the home is so pervasive that women, even believers in the faith who know better, struggle with finding a purpose in their work as a full-time mother. I struggle with it and my child isn’t even born yet!
Fortunately, we can avoid falling victim to this pattern of thinking by knowing that looking to society is not the place to find the right answers. Instead, let’s see what God has to say on the matter: In Titus 2:4-5, we find Paul’s instruction to the younger women in the church, that they are “to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands.” Sounds almost the opposite of what our 21st century culture teaches, doesn’t it? In these verses Paul is admonishing mothers to be a source of love for their families, diligent keepers of their home, and obedient to their husbands, all while being kind, virtuous, and wise in both word and deed. “Just a housewife,” indeed! I don’t know of any paying job that requires the level of personal effort Paul outlines here. Similarly, Proverbs 31:10-31 goes on and on about the qualifications of a virtuous wife and let me tell you, they are not easy in the least. But verse 28 of that chapter says that the children of such a woman “rise up and call her blessed” and that her husband “praises her” for her excellence among women. And most importantly, verse 30 says that this kind of wife and mother, is “a woman who fears the Lord” and that “she shall be praised.” Why then, should we care what society thinks about those of us who embrace motherhood as the purpose to which our Lord has called us? After all, if we are blessed by our children and husbands, and praised by God for doing so, there is no one else to which we should have to prove our self-worth.
Finally, let’s examine the overall reason God calls mothers to live in such a selfless and righteous way. Yes, a family will benefit greatly from having such a wonderful wife and mother, but in Titus 2:5 Paul says that this list of lifestyle guidelines for women is all for a single purpose: “that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” So motherhood then, is not about how clean our home is, how delicious the dinner we made was, or even how well-behaved our kids are. In fact, it’s not about us at all; It is solely and completely about bringing glory to God. If a stranger can observe how you run your home, handle your children, and respond to your husband, and then say without hesitation “Wow, that is a God-fearing woman!” then you have done exactly as He has commanded. Everything else that comes with it is just icing on the cake.
If that’s not enough to convince you that your job as a mother is truly a divine task, Psalm 139:13-16 is a great reminder of just how important our kids really are. These verses say that it is God Himself who forms our children in the womb, that they are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him; He knows them so intimately that He has written down all of their days, even before they began. And then these beautiful little beings that our heavenly Father has created are entrusted to us, so that we may nurture, love, and raise them in the knowledge of the Lord. I am overwhelmed with such gratitude and humility that God has given me (sinful, imperfect, faltering me!) the immense task of caring for His very own personal creation. This, my lovely sister, is precisely why motherhood is such a high calling. It is self-sacrifice, bathed in humility, all done to the glory and service of our Lord, and is one of the greatest privileges will ever have on this earth. So the next time you start to question the value of everything you’re doing as a mother, know that you are deeply important to God’s plan and are right where He wants you to be. Don’t let anyone – society, friends, family, or even yourself – try to convince you otherwise.
Grace, mercy, and peace to you my sweet sister,
~ Lauren Titcomb
