My Dearest Sister,
I have a confession to make: I am a recovering perfectionist. My desire to be the absolute best I could be used to have a great hold on me and nowhere was it more evident than in my school work. I’ve always loved learning, but at some point in my college experience an obsession with being a straight-A student took over. I absolutely had to do well in school; There was no alternative. I was so determined to be the perfect student that I would spend hours upon hours studying and doing research for papers, always making sure I was impressing my teachers with what I could accomplish. Most of the time I succeeded, until one fateful poetry class broke my long-running streak. I had completed the mountains of exercises and writing assignments with as much effort as I could muster yet still only received a B.
It may not seem like a big deal to some people, but I was very disappointed at the time. Just like that, my record as a perfect student was tarnished and there was nothing I could do about it. I tried to justify it with excuses, like the teacher had expected too much of us or the grading scale hadn’t been fair, but the truth is I just wasn’t a very good poet. In short, I was not perfect. This was a hard truth to accept because back then, if I looked in a mirror I didn’t just see myself; I saw a good student who was smart and always got A’s. It wasn’t until that perfect image of myself was shattered, that I realized just how much of my identity it had become.
Today when I look in a mirror, there are a host of new images to contend with: perfect wife, loving mother, crafty homemaker, good cook, helpful friend, and talented writer, just to name a few. There is a lot of pressure these days to be perfect, and the route of stay at home mom is no exception. There’s always something to improve, something at which to try harder. Sometimes it just feels like too much to handle. And do you know what? It is. You see, sister, the world has deeply and tragically lied to us. It’s told us that having a good image is a necessity for happiness. What we fail to realize is that this way of thinking is as old as sin itself. What is dwelling on one’s own importance other than the same wickedness that led Adam and Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit so they could be like God?
The truth is, our identity is not the one that matters. As the apostle Paul said in Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” Beloved, this should be our heart’s cry! Once we become new creatures in Christ, our lives are no longer ours alone. We become a living vessel for Christ and no matter where we go or what we do, we represent Him. This means that instead of striving to be a perfect student, we should be a student who loves Christ. Instead of trying to be the best wife in the world we should be a wife who loves Christ. The same goes for our role as a mother, a daughter, an employee, a homemaker, or whatever other roles God has given us. And do you know, it’s ironic what happens next. When we put Christ first in our lives, we are more equipped to handle those roles than we ever were on our own.
2 Corinthians 3:18 sums it all up pretty well: “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as if in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” When I look in a mirror, I want to see a woman who loves Christ, nothing else. I don’t have to be the perfect wife or mom or writer or friend, because not only is trying to maintain a perfect image exhausting, it does nothing to add to the kingdom of God. Rather, it takes away from it by turning the focus to me. The only way to turn the focus back to Him is by living my life in a way that reflects His glory, not my own.
So, sister, I have one question left for you: Who do you see when you look in the mirror?
In His Love,
~ Lauren