respect

Dear sister,

Do we understand what it means to honor someone? Do we understand what it means to honor Jesus? Why do we honor people? What does the word “honor” even mean? (Remember, sis, I’m the word nerd.)

To honor someone simply means to ascribe value to him or her. It is the showing of respect to someone who has earned it. We honor our soldiers with medals; actors and musicians with Oscars and Grammys; athletes with trophies; etc. Through the giving and receiving of these awards we are saying “Your accomplishment is worthy of recognition.”

But how do we as people and as believers honor Jesus? What do you give to the Son of God who already reigns over everything? The Bible tells us that Jesus has already been honored by His Father, sitting at the right hand of God (Acts 2:34). God has also promised to make His enemies His footstool. So Christ has been and will be exalted by God.

For us, honoring Jesus is going to look a little different. We can’t exactly give Jesus all authority in heaven and in earth after all. Here’s a list I put together of some specific ways I am personally trying to honor Jesus. This list is not an exhaustive one but one that can help us to jump start our call to honor Jesus. Will you join me?

1. Obey Him.

Oh this can be a tough one for me sometimes, dear sister. Let’s face it. Life gets hard. One day you’re pumped because you know you’re exactly where the Lord wants you and the next you’re asking God if you made the right decision because you’ve hit a rough patch. It’s in these moments that we need to seek to do what God is calling us to even if we don’t want to do it.

2. Spend your time wisely.

Yikes! When I look back on my past I’m depressed by the amount of time I have frivolously wasted away. Whether it was binging on my favorite TV shows (thank you, Netflix), or simply not doing what I should have been doing, the way I was spending my time was not indicative of a Christ-centered life. As the Lord convicted me of this I started to make changes in my life that allowed me to spend my time wisely. I canceled my subscription to Netflix, took a social media hiatus, and instead I try to spend more time practicing the harp, and building relationships with those around me. What are some negative time suckers you can give up and what positive things can you replace them with?

3. Give generously.

This may be an obvious one to many of us but it shouldn’t go without mention. In the Old Testament, God required the Israelites to offer up ten percent of their goods/income to the tabernacle. In the New Testament it is left up to us to decide how much we will give. Whatever the amount give regularly and with a joyful heart (2 Corinthians 9:7).

You may also consider giving your money (and/or your time) to an organization you care about that is devoted to helping others who are in a time of crisis.

4. Value what Jesus values.

Do you know what Jesus values, dear sister? If not, take some time today to read His word and find out. A few things you might find include integrity, a pure heart, faithfulness. Examine your heart and your actions. Is the way you’re living your life marked by the things that Jesus values most? Be honest with yourself and if you don’t like what you find in the trenches of your soul, figure out a way to change it. Seek to be a woman of honor and integrity, who not only gives honor to her Lord and Savior, but is worthy of it.

How will you honor the Lord today?
Running with you,

Kayla

My Dearest Sister,

In just a couple weeks Isaac and I will celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary. Looking back on our years together, I can honestly say that they have been the happiest of my life so far; However, I am not going to tell you that it has all been a perfect, fairy-tale romance. In those four years, there have been many arguments, tearful nights, and hurtful words spoken in anger, followed by a lot of bitterness and resentment. I actually remember a specific point a few months after the wedding where I was faced with the stark realization that my husband was not even close to the perfect person I had made him out to be (he is human, after all). I watched my own expectations of marriage crumble before me and felt disappointed, even a little bit heartbroken. I wondered how things could end up like this so quickly and why no one told me what married life was really like. What happened to the happily-ever-after part I was expecting? Maybe you can relate to this because like me, you’ve been there; Maybe you are even there right now.

What I didn’t realize until much later is that no marriage can truly blossom when it is rooted in our own expectations. Thanks to our human nature, we will all make mistakes and fall short of these expectations. Our flesh is so very wicked and, if given the chance, will fail us at every turn. That’s why it’s so important to live by God’s expectations for our marriage, not our own. His design for marriage, outlined in Ephesians 5:22-33, is unique in that He expects just one thing from us in regards to how we treat our spouses: 1) Wives are to humbly submit to their husbands leadership just as the church submits to Christ and 2) Husbands are to sacrificially love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. These two marital rules are so very important because they each speak to the deepest need of the other person. Why do you think we love those sappy, romantic comedies while our masculine counterparts love their action and war films where the hero saves the day? Because women need to feel loved and men need to feel respected.

With each spouse only having just one simple command to follow – wives submit, husbands love – you would think it would be easy to get a handle on our marriages. However, there is a major challenge to overcome. You see, even though a man communicates best in terms of respect and authority, he is called to express tender love toward his wife. In the same way, a woman communicates best in terms of love but is called to honor and show submission to her husband. We are each commanded to perform what is less natural to us, but at the same time means more to other person. That is why marriage is so hard! It demands that we step out of our comfort zone, away from what is familiar, and instead focus on what the other person needs. It is the very essence of selflessness, something our flesh deeply struggles with.

We know that we cannot overcome such selfishness on our own for as Jesus said, our spirits are willing but our flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41). It is only by seeking the Lord first in our marriage that we are able to fully grasp the instruction Ephesians 5 gives us. As wives, it is by submitting to Christ in every area of our lives that we learn to submit to a husband who doesn’t always get things right the first time. In the same way, when a husband fully grasps the love that Christ had in giving Himself for our cleansing and sanctification, he can then replicate that same love toward a wife who doesn’t always respect his authority. So the closer and more intimate our relationship with Christ is, the closer and more intimate our relationship with our spouse can be as well. Isn’t the Biblical dynamic of marriage remarkable in its design for our sanctification?

The truly amazing thing is that it doesn’t stop there with just the husband, the wife, and God. No, it is much more powerful than that! You see, when both parties heed the instruction in these 11 verses, they are exemplifying to everyone around them the bonded, loving relationship of Christ and the church. Paul calls this Christ/church relationship “a great mystery” (v. 32). Indeed, it is hard to understand how Jesus could love us enough to lay down His own life so that we may be cleansed and sanctified; It is also hard to understand how we could submit to the leadership of a Savior whom we have never even met. And yet this mysterious covenant between Christ and the church is portrayed so beautifully here on earth through the covenant of marriage. The ultimate purpose of marriage then is not for us at all, but for God’s own glory.

Knowing this, it is not surprising that the covenant of marriage is under such heavy attack from the enemy. By destroying the one earthly relationship that points directly to the gospel, a very powerful testimony is being taken away from the kingdom of God. That is why it is so important, sister, to heed the instruction that has been given to us as husbands and wives. For us this means submitting first to Christ’s leadership in every area of our lives and then submitting to the leadership of our husbands, even when they don’t deserve it. Let’s lay aside our own expectations and selfish desires, and instead focus on how to serve God within the realm of our marriage. Not only will it create a stronger, more loving relationship between us and our spouses, but it may just be the greatest ministry to which we will ever be called.

Grace, mercy, and peace to you my lovely sister,
~ Lauren

Tag: respect

The Biblical Design For Marriage