Tag: Psalm 84:11

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A Means, Not An End

My dear sister,

I think about marriage—a lot. I feel that as a single woman that is simply part of my job description. Think about marriage, dream about marriage, date guys who want marriage, and then maybe some day, I’ll actually have marriage.

Even just a year ago, singleness was easier to cope with but now that I’ve officially entered the season where all my friends are getting married (five between now and March) I’m getting more and more uncomfortable with my singleness. I’ve grown even dissatisfied in my lot from the Lord.

But why should I be dissatisfied in this? Singleness really isn’t that bad. Because of it, I am able to devote more of my time and energy to the Lord with few distractions. (1 Corinthians 7:34) Additionally, singleness offers a lot of freedom in how I spend my time and money. Why give all that up for a ring, limitations, and dirty diapers?

Dear sister, I think I often fall into the trap of thinking that my life doesn’t really begin until I have a man to share it with. So until he comes I’m just waiting around trying to look busy. But this ought not to be the case. Marriage is not the end or goal of my life. Neither is singleness. God gives both and takes away both but the season is not an end in itself. Rather, each season is a means to God’s end for our lives, which is our sanctification.

First Thessalonians 4:7a says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification.” Contrary to the messages of the world, God’s first concern is not our happiness. Instead he desires for us to be holy, to be conformed to the image of his Son. Sanctification is the life-long process of being transformed into the likeness of Christ.

Both singleness and marriage are simply means to God’s greater end of making us holy and perfect. We can’t worry that not being married means that we’re not fulfilling our purpose. Our purpose is not to be married. Our chief purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever and we can do that with or without a diamond ring (With, God, please with!).

The Lord is sovereign over where you are right now, dear sister, even if you don’t want to be there. Live out your singleness with earnest devotion to the Lord. Married already? Then be a godly and devoted wife and mother.

Each season in your life contributes to your sanctification. Take advantage of each one and don’t waste it. Trust God every day and hope in Him. Rest assured, He will complete the work he has begun in you (Philippians 1:6). He will not fail.

The LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. -Psalm 84:11

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Patiently Waiting

My dear sister,

“I want it now!” is what I find myself saying to God tonight as I selfishly and impatiently relay to God all the reasons why I should have this thing that has become so important to me. “I don’t want to wait until Thursday. I don’t want to wait for more wisdom. I know what I want and I want it now!”

At times I find myself pondering the thought that God might be looking down at me and laughing at the predicaments I get myself into and the impatience that I typically respond to those circumstances with. I have also noticed how often in God’s Providence the topic for which I am about to write is the very thing that is testing my faith! All that to say; How gracious it is of God to allow me to be struggling with patience this month as I sit here writing this to you!

Are you going through a particularly difficult time in your life? Has the Lord responded to your prayers simply by saying, “Wait.”? Are you struggling to be patient through this time of uncertainty? If yes, then I am right there with you. Waiting on the Lord is hard and being told to wait may even be worse than a flat out no. Having to trust the Lord through the in between times is not terribly fun. It’s actually really hard.

I was at my aunt’s house about to babysit my cousins on Saturday night. Before my aunt and uncle left my 4 year old cousin was repeatedly asking for a cookie in a less than pleasant voice. “You have to stop whining if you want a cookie, ” my uncle said. “I’m not whining!” my little cousin whined in response.

Wow. Do I sure feel like my little cousin this week. I know what I want and I think that everyone else should cater to my desire and give it to me now. How selfish! And how immature! I’m acting like a four year old! Even more than being selfish, my attitude tells God that I’m the one who knows what’s best for me and that I should be the one calling the shots. Could I be anymore arrogant?

Remembering the events of last night regarding my own personal situation, I realized that I said some things to a dear friend that I should not have said. I think, “If I had only been patient I would not have acted so selfishly!” But unfortunately I let my desire overtake my reason and instead of waiting upon the Lord to bring about the final results in His timing and in His way I took matters into my own hands. What a mistake that was, dear one.

Romans 5 has been my companion through these last few days. It says, “We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Are you going through a trial right now, dear one? Has the Lord told you to wait when you don’t want to wait? Remember this verse. God is working in you and teaching you things now that will be for your good and to your advantage in the future. Remember that Romans 5 is true and that we will need endurance, character, and hope no matter what the Lord calls us to or what circumstances He puts us in. Trust and be encouraged by the truth of Romans 8:28 that the Lord does indeed work all things for the good of those who love Him.

I know what you’re going through right now is difficult and I know that you don’t want to be here very long but you need to wait. You need to, as the psalmist entreats us, ‘be still and know that I am God.” Pray for patience and pray for peace. The Lord will grant you both and remember ‘not one good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly’ (Psalm 84:11) God has our best interests at heart no matter how the circumstances may appear. Trust Him to bring the rainbow through the rain.

Under His wing,

Kayla