Dear sister,
To be sure there are older and wiser women with much more experience in this particular area than I can hope to boast about at the ripe old age of 20. Thankfully though, I don’t have to come up with a lot to say about the topic of self-control because the word of God, truthfully, speaks for itself. It is living and active after all (Heb. 4:12). So what does God’s word say about self-control, in general and particularly for women?
Well, first let’s look at Proverbs 25:28. It says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” What kind of picture does that paint for you? I see that a man without self-control is an easy target for predators and when they strike not only do they easily break in but they also break down your walls, leaving you unprotected and vulnerable for another attack. Yikes, That’s not a pretty picture! I don’t know about you sister, but I had not ever thought that self-control was necessary for my very own protection. Or that it would help me fight off my attackers.
As if that was not enough to grab your attention,I want to now focus your attention on I Corinthians 9:25-27. Paul says, “Every athlete exercises self-control in all things…So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” The first thing I notice in this passage is Paul’s use of the word all. ALL things. “Even homework, Paul?” “Yes, Kayla, even homework.” “What about my thought life, Paul, you can’t expect me to control what I think, can you?” “Yes, Kayla, you must discipline your mind.” “What about when I wake up and when I go to bed, that doesn’t really matter right, Paul?” “No, Kayla, you must discipline your body as well.” “Oh, so all things really means all things then, doesn’t it?” “Yes, Kayla, that’s right.” Though this dialogue may be amusing, I think it hits pretty close to reality. We tend to want to make God’s word say something that we think is more reasonable or less extreme, as if we know better than God does! Dear sister, surely we know by now that we do not think like God does and that his knowledge and discernment is far superior to our own earthly wisdom. We have to remember, dear one, that we don’t have the power of the editor. We can’t erase words and replace them with different ones or change the meaning of a verse. As children of God we must take every word of God as authoritative and apply to our lives as such. So when God says, “Exercise self-control in all things.” He means, “Exercise self-control in all things.” Not in some things, or in the things that are easy for you, but in all things.
Paul goes on to say that he does not ‘box as one beating the air’. Imagine that for a second. What is a boxer beating the air accomplishing? Nothing! In fact, he looks foolish because he has no target. So must we, if we are to bear the name of Christ well, be self-controlled and discipline our bodies “lest after preaching to others [we] should be disqualified.” Paul is saying, “If I don’t practice self-control, how can I expect others to do such?” He goes so far as to say that a failure to control oneself results in disqualifying yourself from the faith.
Finally, self-control is an essential attribute of godliness. First Timothy 2:9 speaks of how women should adorn themselves with self-control (among other things). If you are seeking to become a godly woman, neglecting self-control is not an option. We must learn to discipline our minds and our bodies, being controlled by the Spirit and not by the flesh. For me, and maybe for you as well dear sister, this may seem an impossible task. Self-control is something I struggle with (and fail at) frequently. And not only that, it seems to be the source of many of my other problems. But find hope and take courage in II Timothy 1:7: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.” Nothing is impossible for God. He has given us all that we need to be victorious. Lean on Him and plead with Him to help you dismantle all that hinders you in your pursuit of self-control. Throw off yourself and be controlled by the love of Christ.
“For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” ~II Cor. 5:14-15
Your sister,
Kayla