Sweet sister,
Rugged mountain terrain in rural Guatemala, remote villages in the African bush, busy street vendors in Mexico City, they all bring memories of brilliant smiles from joyful and content locals, who seemed to be naturally quite thankful, brimming with hope. I have struggled to understand why in my safe, spoiled, educated, technology-saturated, relatively unencumbered everyday life, joy and contentment seem so elusive. Perhaps I don’t know the deep struggles of those I met on all my college mission trips…. yes, I know I don’t. However, I wonder if those dear brothers and sisters abroad are faced with the need to choose joy more often, and have developed muscles that are only recently being stretched in mine?
Though married to a wonderful man that regularly covers me with love, the past two years have pushed me to the place of needing to choose, more often than ever before. Walking with a mirror of myself forced before me daily, in that beloved man, I’ve seen my miserable state of discontent, and the reality of my sin. You may be familiar with the NY Times bestseller, One Thousand Gifts? That book, that mantra to choose joy, was a lifesaver, path-changer, wisdom-giver and joy-bringer for me, in those early days of marriage. I religiously recorded my daily blessings, in hopes that I would start to believe I was blessed. There were many days, of course, when I felt the blessing and easily gave thanks. Sadly, there were many more in which I inwardly grumbled towards my God and my husband. But slowly, as days turned to weeks, months, and now years, I began to see my heart naturally (miracle of all miracles!) CHOOSE! I started to realize that not only could I choose, but also that before choosing, I was chosen by an Almighty God. The only Wise God who planned my steps, was worthy of my praise, regardless of whether I wanted to give it or not. I’ve found so much freedom in just making the choice to follow Christ, and my husband, with JOY through confusing and frustrating circumstances. I’ve found that there is victory in knowing I can be joyful even when everything around me screams that there is no option but misery, despair, hopelessness. I am living proof that joy and hope shine most brightly in the darkness. For it is there that we need it most, and are forced to fight for the air to breathe, the wind of joy that fills our souls, and gives us wings to soar over the darkest of valleys.
Oh sweet sister, though you may be tempted to give in to the depths of the pit where you have fallen, reach out a hand to a friend for help, cry out to God for His ever-present saving mercy, start recording every possible little thing you might be able to see as a gift from God. Look to the last verse in the following passage, and see that all things, even the hard things, are gifts from God. Your pain is real; so believe me when I tell you it won’t be easy to choose. But it will be worth it. In years past, as I confessed to a friend today, I tried to ignore this passage from James 1, but now it brings me sweet peace:
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do….12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him….17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.
You are chosen in the Beloved One, now it’s your turn to choose joy.
Your sister, Ruth