Tag: Grace

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Acceptance vs. Agreement

Dear sister,

“Love the sinner, hate the sin” bothers me. This phrase is used a lot in Christian circles and I understand why. Scripture commands us to love our enemy as much as we love ourselves (Matt. 5:43-45) and to hate sin as much as God does (Ps. 97:10), so the principle is there. But I don’t see this balance being lived out often. There is either the extreme shunning of the sinner because of their sin or the loving of the sinner while embracing their sin. There should be a way to truly love a person and yet at the same time not endorse their choices. I believe this is the difference between agreement and acceptance.

In our culture, any form of disagreement can easily be viewed as intolerance. To accept a person means you have to accept their behavior, but the acceptance I’m talking about can show love and grace while not wavering from the truth. A good example of this is with our family members. I’ve had to have conversations with loved ones who just wanted me to accept them by being okay with their sin. In those instances, I’ve had to make the distinction that I do accept and love them, but that I don’t have to agree with them in order to continue a relationship with them.

We shouldn’t have to compromise on our personal convictions and we shouldn’t have to burn bridges either. Sometimes this means creating boundaries, which is not the same as burning bridges. Boundaries motivated by love help to maintain the relationship. It’s not easy …  it takes both truth and grace to grow a relationship. There are people in my life, especially family members, that I will love no matter what! We may not always agree and I may not like the choices they make, but that will not lessen my love for them by any means.

There will be times when we have to make the hard decision on when to let go of a relationship or where to draw the line. For me, I think the goal is always to maintain a loving relationship and build bridges. After all, it’s hard to speak the truth to someone you don’t have a relationship with. It is not loving to let people live in sin and believe the lie that no harm will ever come of it.  It takes trust in a relationship to speak truth in love. Any unwanted advice comes off as criticism and if the relationship is not strong or close, truth comes off as judgment. But we speak the truth because we love people, even if it means losing a relationship. That’s why, if agreement cannot be reached, it sometimes is best to just reach a point of peace, realizing you will always love and accept them, but cannot entirely agree with them. This is why we pray for true repentance.  We are to love the sinner, speak the truth, and trust God will continue the work He started.

In Christ,

Karlie

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Hope in the Forest of Life

My family has had many changes recently. Since November, we have flown to Ethiopia to bring back our 18 month old twins, said goodbye to sweet friends, packed up our lives and memories in Okinawa, Japan, flew from Seattle to Boulder to Virginia and then to Kentucky visiting friends and family, moved to Puerto Rico, and are still waiting for our household goods to land so we can move into our new home. We have lived out of 4 suitcases, 2 pack and plays, 3 car seats, and backpacks for the entire time. I’ve had shingles, we have all been sick in bed, and Barrett started his new job. I wish I could tell you we weathered all this with grace, joy, and peace while trusting in the Lord’s Providence, but that would be a lie.

I’ve been short and mean with my children, I haven’t loved my neighbor as myself and, worst of all, I did not enjoy my husband and kids…and sadly, this revealed that my hope and joy were dependent on them rather than Christ! But that is another lesson for another time.

Dear sister, your story might not look exactly like mine, but you know that you have a circumstance, relationship, or depression that has left you like me: crying out to God, begging Him to help because you hate living this hypocritical life of saying you trust Him in all things yet your life was far from showing it. Own it friend. Acknowledge the sin you are holding on to of unforgiveness, jealousy, control, anxiety, or pride that has produced its fruit in your difficult time, leaving you feeling like life is hopeless. Oh sweet sister, you need to acknowledge the weight of this sin. You need to grasp how any one of these sins can push your life into the path of hopelessness. Don’t be afraid; don’t look away. Because it’s right here, when our sin bears down so hard, that the grace Jesus won for you at the cross will restore your hope and lift up your head!

What is this grace? Grace is getting what you don’t deserve. It’s my husband buying me a cupcake on the way home when we still aren’t OK. It’s my kids waking up cheering after I blew up at them the night before. But ultimately, grace is Jesus taking my sins—trying to control my husband and kids, losing my patience, not being kind to my neighbor, being jealous of the life SHE has, and fearing that life isn’t working out the way I planned—and nailing it to the cross. He bore the weight of God’s wrath on Himself for me. For ugly, sometimes unrepentant me! And then, don’t miss this, and THEN, he gave me His righteousness. He made me perfect in God’s eyes. This is grace! When God sees me, He doesn’t see the sin that deserves his wrath, He sees His perfect son and accepts me.

This is our hope! This is the big picture we can’t forget while walking in the son-blocking path in the forest of life. This grace reminds us that we are forgiven and have the hope of heaven! We have Christ forever!

Please don’t misunderstand me that all hardship is caused by personal sin, yet His grace on us should still bring us hope. When everything falls down around us, we know that we are forgiven and righteous because of the grace of Christ. Oh Lord, as we meditate on your grace, may that give us hope in hard times and motivate us to give grace to others.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen

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Forgiven, Chiseled and Secure

Dearest Sister,

Do you ever struggle with a particular sin…over and over again…no seeming victory? Perhaps it’s an obsession or an unhealthy habit. Maybe it’s your tongue gossiping or showing disrespect…Or laziness, or being desensitized to unwholesome shows, or self-righteousness, or materialism, or prayerlessness, or pride…So much to repent of…Unrelenting disquiet in the soul…Embarrassment to come before the Father once more…Do I really belong to the Father?  How can I be that new creation, yet still sin so much? Like The Pilgrim in Bunyan’s  classic we come to Christ initially with that huge burden strapped to our backs, only to find it rolling down Calvary’s hill when the Spirit opens our spiritual eyes to understand and embrace the gospel, but it would appear we sometimes become uncomfortable without that familiar burden and we start rebuilding that unnecessary heaviness that Jesus has already and perpetually removed from us positionally. Yet, we encumber ourselves with wrong thinking, unhealthy and sinful behaviors. We live in defeat and fear, depression and anxiety. We sin those same sins over and over again wondering where the power for victory lies. We try and try and try. We become exhausted, afraid to go to the Father even though it is to Him we must go for relief and safety.

A prayer by one of the old Puritans says,

“I confess my sin, my frequent sin, my willful sin; all my powers of body and soul are defiled; a fountain of pollution is deep within my nature. There are chambers of foul images within my being; I have gone from one odious room to another, walked in a no-man’s-land of dangerous imaginations, pried into the secrets of my fallen nature. I am utterly ashamed that I am what I am in myself…” Paul speaks to this in Romans 7. He does what he doesn’t want to do and doesn’t do what he does want to do. The Puritan says, “Thou has struck a heavy blow at my pride, at the false god of self, and I lie in pieces before Thee. But Thou has given me another Master and Lord, Thy Son Jesus…” Paul says, “But I thank God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

Sister, being weighed down by your sin is good in-so-far that it causes you to turn from self and idolatry and to Jesus. Bear with me as I quote the finish of the Puritan’s prayer: “Save me from the…pride of life, from everything natural to fallen man, and let Christ’s nature be seen in me day by day.” Now, get a visual of this plea. “Grant me grace to bear Thy will without repining [fretting, being discontent], and delight to be [here it is!] not only chiseled, squared, or fashioned, but separated from the old rock where I have been embedded so long, and lifted from the quarry to the upper air, where I may be built in Christ for ever.” Did you see yourself being broken away from the rock, fully hewn into Christ’s sculpture, soaring free from the depths of imprisonment–made like Christ, being freed from besetting sins, slowly but surely?

Author Matt Papa says that we worship our way into sin and so we must worship our way out of it. We need a greater thrill (than the sin). We need a more captivating beauty. We must fix our gaze on Christ and His beauties rather than fixate on our sins. As we do this and are consumed by His excellencies we find ourselves being less and less attracted to the sin. I repeat Paul: “I thank God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

God, our gentle Father, likens Himself to a mother hen or bird securing her babies under her wings. He does this for His children where He protects us from the world and sin and Satan, even from ourselves. I often think of myself in that place of protection and have composed and prayed the following prayer as a result–a prayer of holy resignation, when I finally give up the struggle, trying to conquer sin by my own willpower and run to Him.

Father, I behold your mighty greatness in Your Word and in the remembrance of a myriad acts of mercy and faithfulness to me. I see you beckon me to Yourself. Sometimes I come haltingly, ashamed and afraid. Sometimes I come running with desperation, trembling.  Always I come,  casting myself at Your feet, grasping them and Your clean robes. And always, You lift me up and wrap your arms around my quivering self and clasp me under your sheltering wings–so safe–and the shaking stops. I peer out from that haven. The world is still roiling, but I am forgiven and secure.

Take heart!

With love,
Cherry

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Grace To The Humble

Dear sister,

Things haven’t changed much since the garden of Eden, have they? Adam and Eve’s desire to have what they deemed the “best” fruit in the garden led to a heredity of sin that can be seen in every person and child. They trusted in their own desires and feelings rather than trusting that what the Lord told them was true and better than that fruit. Instead of humbling themselves and trusting the Lord, they proudly and boldly ate the forbidden fruit.

Man, it is so hard to humble ourselves, isn’t it? We want to be proud parents, proud wives, known for something, anything! We don’t want to be told what to do…or is this just me? I’m really not one to boast vocally, but internally, my heart yearns for recognition from this world. I don’t want to be just a wife of so and so, mother of ______, or from this family. I want to stand out, be accomplished with my hands, skills, sports, or brain. I want to be known for my whit, humor, or craftiness. I can’t be alone…I’ve seen all the proud stickers on cars proclaiming honor rolls and personal advertisements.

Peter scripts in 1 Pet 5:6, that “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble”. When we, like Adam and Eve, desire our fame more than God’s, He opposes us. But when we instead, proclaim His fame over our own, we get grace! But how do I humble myself? Think about how we feel pride…we contrast something against our own standard and when we beat the standard, we feel proud! If the whole class gets a C and I get a C+, I am proud of that C+! If I compare my looks or skills with someone I think isn’t as good as me, I feel proud! So…why not compare myself with God for a good dose of humility?

He spoke. The universe was thrown into existence. He spoke and nature bloomed. He breathed life into the dirt and man stepped forth. He formed you in your mother’s womb. He made each cell move exactly where it was supposed to go. He created the nerve firings in your brain to command your every breath and heart beat. He gave skill to doctors, ideas to men and women to create art and science. He gave you a conscience. He holds the world in His hands! He made a way to fix the sin problem that Adam, Eve, and all of us have by sending Himself into the world to die for our sins! Then…He rose again, conquering death and defeating its fate for all those who put their trust in Jesus. Ummmmm…I can’t do any of that.

Humility is not self-condemnation or defamation; rather it is acknowledging everything we have comes from the Lord. It’s realizing that God deserves our praise, not us. We praise God and give thanks for our every breath, for our skills, whit, and humor He gave us. We praise God for the gifts and people in our lives. We praise and give thanks to God for our families, for the gifts and talents He has given our children and spouses. When we put the Lord in His rightful position, the result is humility in our hearts. But it’s a humility that brings joy, not shame. It brings the grace of the Lord, not His opposition. Wow! I want that! Don’t you?

Grace to you, sister,

Colleen

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Honor Given and Received

Hey sis,

I see your struggle and can totally relate! We all are searching for honor and significance in this world, whether we realize it or not. In fact, this often motivates many of our decisions…how we dress, the things we post online, who we befriend, the jobs we pursue, even our good deeds. But without a proper understanding of biblical honor and significance, our hearts will never be satisfied. Let’s not shame ourselves for our improper and sinful motives, lovely ladies, but rather run to the Cross and find the joy, mercy and purpose that we crave.

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” — C.S. Lewis

 Jesus desired to show honor to His disciples by washing their feet, serving them in a very sacrificial way, but Peter was not at first willing to receive this act of humility. Luke 13: 5-8: Then He poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded.  So He came to Simon Peter. He said to Him, “Lord, do You wash my feet?” Jesus answered and said to him, “What I do you do not realize now, but you will understand hereafter.” Peter said to Him, “Never shall You wash my feet!” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.

 How often do we refuse the lavish grace of God because we deem ourselves unworthy? When we close ourselves off from Christ’s love, grace, and mercy, our hearts do not find the satisfaction we were created for, and as Lewis noted above, we look for this satisfaction in worldly things. God has put eternity in our hearts, and we long for significance and honor (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Finding our identity in God as His daughters is the only means of true satisfaction!

I am a firm believer that our refusal to accept God’s Grace in our daily lives leads us to the many sinful thoughts, desires, and actions we all battle. It is GRACE that leads us to repentance, not lashing ourselves repeatedly in our minds for every wrongdoing. Romans 2:4: “Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?”This daily pursuit by our Lord and Lover can take many forms – an offer for dinner, a gift from a friend, a gentleman opening a door, a much-needed day off, etc. Have we in our pride refused these gifts from God? James 1:17: “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” Sister, perhaps you do not have a relationship with Christ? If so, you are refusing His sacrifice of Grace on the Cross, the gift of eternal life and relationship with Him. You have nothing to lose, but the fear of death and eternal punishment!

Returning back to our passage in Luke, we see in vs. 14-17: “If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a slave is not greater than his master, nor is one who is sent greater than the one who sent him. If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them.” Just as we have received this grace, honor, and humble service and sacrifice from our Lord, we are called to offer it to others.

God does not show favor, as we see in James 2: 1-6: My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? But you have dishonored the poor man.”

 True religion is showing honor to the weak, vulnerable, and oppressed. We are no better, ladies!Offer that cup of cold water from a sincere and generous heart. Wash the feet of the helpless and hurting. We might all do well to remember that ‘our neighbor’ is often no further than the roommate, friend, spouse, or difficult family member we often try to avoid. We must come to the Well of Grace and fill our souls, so that Living Waters will pour from our lives into those who are in deep need.

 

Running to Grace,

Ruth