Dear sisters,
I was a tomboy. I admit it. I loved sweatpants, bulky shirts and sweatshirts, and playing all sports. The only time I wore a dress was Sunday for church, which was mandated by my parents. I wore a t-shirt over my swimsuit for as long as I can remember and only grew my hair out to prove I was a girl. I continued to struggle with how to dress…ok…continue to struggle with how to dress modestly to this day. What makes what we wear modest or not modest? Is it the length of our dress? How much make up we wear or don’t wear? If we should wear spaghetti straps or not? And why should we want to be modest? Why not flaunt what we have been given by our Creator?
The Lord in His kindness has laid some foundational groundwork for us. He tells us in 1 Peter 3:3 and 1 Timothy 2:9 not to be outlandish, excessive, or sensual in what we wear. We are our brothers’ keeper and we want to help men and women keep their thoughts pure. (Let’s admit it ladies, when we enter a room, we check out the other ladies first. Just as men struggle with lust, we struggle with jealousy and envy of others as well.) One way to see if we are excessive in what we wear is to think about how much time, effort, and money we put into how we look…from hair to shoes. Our money is a good sign of what we are worshipping. Are we worshipping ourselves? Or are we worshipping the Lord? Ouch.
The Lord also tells us what to wear. In 1 Timothy 2:8-9, Paul tells women to “adorn themselves in respectable apparel with modesty and self-control.” What does that mean? Well, it means that it’s okay to adorn! Keeping a modern wardrobe is a good thing. Keeping your hair and skin healthy is a good thing. Jewelry and make-up are fun ways to show God’s color and creativity. Yet, all of this needs to be under the umbrella of modesty and self-control. We need to have a reverence for God and others when we dress as well as show our feminine virtue of restraint. We don’t tote the line of immodesty or quibble about hemlines. We dress with confidence knowing that we don’t have to preview certain parts of our body for our self-worth. We protect and preserve our sexual nature for our husbands to enjoy. Not in the baggy clothes of my youth, but by not drawing attention to intimate areas of our bodies.
So, why do I still struggle with modesty and how to dress? Because it’s not black and white, it’s a continuous searching of my heart’s motives and desires. I want people to know I’m a woman and I want to enjoy cultural fashions, yet most of all, I desire for others to know that I dress in a way that brings glory to God, not me. That’s tough stuff. Sweet sisters, let us remember that it is Christ who has dressed us with His righteousness, and it is His love, grace, and mercy which now defines us, not our clothes.
Your sister in Christ,
Colleen