Dear Sister,
I am the poster child for Worrier-Extraordinaire. This is not a good thing. Not only does it cause me to fret and age before my time, those around me get to experience the fall out of wife/mom who is stressed, and (the most distressing part of this), NOTHING is accomplished.
I know this, yet I still worry and stress about things that have not happened, may never happen, and over which I usually have little to no control. However, I justify the worry by insisting I am planning, thinking ahead; or by replaying the wrong done to me (or by me), trying to craft a new outcome(?!). In searching the Word for another worrier, I found one who seemed fully justified in her worry and despair—Naomi. Her husband and sons were dead; and she was living in a culture alien, hostile to her own and during a time when women were not wage earners. She was staring into a bottomless pit. She even stated, “the hand of the Lord has gone forth against me.” Ruth 1:13b.
Naomi was so wrapped up in her worry and despair that it took the faith and loyalty of her Moabite daughter-in-law for her to begin to see God’s goodness again. When Ruth came home from her first gleaning trip to Boaz’ fields, Naomi told Ruth, “…it is good my daughter, that you go out with his [Boaz’] maids…” (Ruth 2:22), this ‘good’ is not just a casual “ok”, but it has the connotations of beautiful, best, bountiful, joyful, precious, etc. In the midst of their darkness and sorrow, God had not forgotten, nor were His purposes thwarted. I wonder if Naomi now dances before the King, still wondering why she fretted when He had such magnificent plans for her family.
My family and I recently completed one of those military moves that are fun to joke about when they happen to someone else. I worried, fussed, pouted, and cancelled the move multiple times, yet it still happened. We did finally get a house and our goods arrived, we moved in and got on with the business of living. Yet, the worry and frustration still dogged me. I have come to the conclusion that I may never know what God’s plan was in all the intricacies and difficulties of the move, and that is ok. I can find the good—the beautiful, best, bountiful, joyful precious good He has for me right here, right now.
I am still a planner, but I will try to plan without brooding—communicating my thoughts and frustrations sooner than later. I can identify when I am wronged, not for the purpose of seeking justice for myself, but to determine how to forgive. Finally, I will be more like Ruth who simply got up and started working; and like Naomi, who began to dare to hope in God’s goodness. He is worthy of our hope, and gives abundantly to His children. “Then the women said to Naomi, ‘Blessed is the Lord who has not left you without a redeemer today, and may his name become famous in Israel. May he also be to you a restorer of life and a sustainer of your old age…’” Ruth 4:14-15a.
Running with you,
Rebecca