Tag: Forgiveness

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Hope in the Forest of Life

My family has had many changes recently. Since November, we have flown to Ethiopia to bring back our 18 month old twins, said goodbye to sweet friends, packed up our lives and memories in Okinawa, Japan, flew from Seattle to Boulder to Virginia and then to Kentucky visiting friends and family, moved to Puerto Rico, and are still waiting for our household goods to land so we can move into our new home. We have lived out of 4 suitcases, 2 pack and plays, 3 car seats, and backpacks for the entire time. I’ve had shingles, we have all been sick in bed, and Barrett started his new job. I wish I could tell you we weathered all this with grace, joy, and peace while trusting in the Lord’s Providence, but that would be a lie.

I’ve been short and mean with my children, I haven’t loved my neighbor as myself and, worst of all, I did not enjoy my husband and kids…and sadly, this revealed that my hope and joy were dependent on them rather than Christ! But that is another lesson for another time.

Dear sister, your story might not look exactly like mine, but you know that you have a circumstance, relationship, or depression that has left you like me: crying out to God, begging Him to help because you hate living this hypocritical life of saying you trust Him in all things yet your life was far from showing it. Own it friend. Acknowledge the sin you are holding on to of unforgiveness, jealousy, control, anxiety, or pride that has produced its fruit in your difficult time, leaving you feeling like life is hopeless. Oh sweet sister, you need to acknowledge the weight of this sin. You need to grasp how any one of these sins can push your life into the path of hopelessness. Don’t be afraid; don’t look away. Because it’s right here, when our sin bears down so hard, that the grace Jesus won for you at the cross will restore your hope and lift up your head!

What is this grace? Grace is getting what you don’t deserve. It’s my husband buying me a cupcake on the way home when we still aren’t OK. It’s my kids waking up cheering after I blew up at them the night before. But ultimately, grace is Jesus taking my sins—trying to control my husband and kids, losing my patience, not being kind to my neighbor, being jealous of the life SHE has, and fearing that life isn’t working out the way I planned—and nailing it to the cross. He bore the weight of God’s wrath on Himself for me. For ugly, sometimes unrepentant me! And then, don’t miss this, and THEN, he gave me His righteousness. He made me perfect in God’s eyes. This is grace! When God sees me, He doesn’t see the sin that deserves his wrath, He sees His perfect son and accepts me.

This is our hope! This is the big picture we can’t forget while walking in the son-blocking path in the forest of life. This grace reminds us that we are forgiven and have the hope of heaven! We have Christ forever!

Please don’t misunderstand me that all hardship is caused by personal sin, yet His grace on us should still bring us hope. When everything falls down around us, we know that we are forgiven and righteous because of the grace of Christ. Oh Lord, as we meditate on your grace, may that give us hope in hard times and motivate us to give grace to others.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen

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Have Courage? How?

Dear sisters,

Two young Marines in Okinawa, Japan were driving in a car this weekend when a blown tire changed their lives forever. The car lost control and the Marines were both severely injured and rushed to the Naval hospital, where my surgeon friend quickly operated on their broken bodies. She was up tirelessly with them for most of the weekend attending to their many serious injuries. One of the Marines sustained a brain injury that put him in a coma with his life precariously hanging in the balance. My friend lovingly faced this young man’s parents and told them of his dire state. She was expecting wailing, tears, and anger, yet what she received was a smile spread across his mom’s face and told my friend that it was going to be OK because God was in control. Then the mom quickly went to praying over her comatose son instead of weeping and asking why.

Oh my sisters, what a courageous response to a seemingly hopeless situation! How could this mother look the death of her son in the eye, then raise those eyes to her heavenly Father in faith of His sovereign control of this heart-wrenching event? There was no fear. She believed and acted on the truth her heart knew despite what consequences might lay ahead. What a picture of courage.

The bible is full of examples of courageous men and women who believed, lived, acted, and stood for the truth despite the personal consequences they might face: Abraham leaving his homeland, Moses’s exodus out of Egypt, Daniel not following the diet of his foreign captors, the prostitute hiding Joshua and the spies, Ruth staying with Naomi, Esther facing the tyrant King Ahasuerus, all the prophets, John the Baptist telling Herod he was sinning, and so many more! Yet the ultimate example of having courage in hopeless times is our Savior Jesus, who sweated blood in agony over the events to come that night, yet still he obeyed His Father, which cost Him His life and ultimately gave us ours. He rose again, defeating death and giving us the foundation of our faith. Our sins are forgiven when we trust in Christ. This life’s crushing fear is courageously washed away by the hope of the gospel!

But how does that work in my own life? I can look to this sweet mom as an example of courage for today. She showed courage during her seemingly hopeless time by not choosing fear, which is the opposite of courage. She chose to believe, live, act, and stand for the truth despite the personal consequences she might face: the death of her son.

Oh sister, learn the truth of the Word! Ground yourself in the knowledge of what you have in Christ. Learn the characteristics of God that never change. Let this knowledge lead you to courageously act when what you fear the most comes. Stand up for what you believe when others mock. Walk away when others are toeing the line of sin. Having courage in seemingly hopeless times is hard work, yet the Spirit will be there to give you what you don’t have on your own.

Oh Lord! Help us to be strong and courageous and not tremble and be dismayed as we live a life of your Truth.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen

 

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Imagined Image

Dear Sister,
I’m guilty. Are you? I often live my life according to how I think others think of me. I have no idea what they are truly thinking, but that does not matter. My image is formed by imagined thoughts of others. As a kid, my image was determined by having the “in” shoes and style for the first day of school, having good grades for my parents, being the best soccer player I could, and being at every church function available. My teenage image had all of those but added the desire to be liked by popular guys and girls. Onto college and my image morphed into being the most perfect person I could: from daughter to student to Christian. You see, I wanted the perfect perceived image inside and out. I wanted to make everyone happy and feel comfortable around me. Now as an “adult” my image is still formed by what I think others are thinking about me: I need to be a good mother, hot wife, best lover, best friend, thoughtful, servant hearted, and hospitable to others. At other times I want others to imagine (ha) me as not caring about any of these things so I become apathetic. This gave me a humble image, right? Are you tired? Phew I was/am. I honestly almost died trying to meet this imagined image of myself. I became anorexic and was sent away for two months to begin healing and repenting of this sinful pattern of life where I lived for an imagined image rather than for the image for which I was created. Genesis 1:26a says, “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.’” Hmmm…there is nothing in there about looks, ability, grades, or perfection. It says that our image is determined by the Trinity, not by what we think other human’s think of us. Our worth is being made in the image of God. But wait, there is more!!!

Sin tarnished our image forever, but God has told us in His Word that He made a way for our image to be restored once and for all eternity. He sent Jesus to live a perfect life and die for all sin once and for all. He rose again conquering sins penalty of death so those who put their trust in Christ will be forgiven and their image will be restored to what is was in the garden. Look at what Paul says of the image of the believer in Ephesians 1:3-14

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard he word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee4 of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.”

Holy cow! Do you see this? Paul is reminding believers of their identity because we forget it!

• He has blessed us in Christ with EVERY spiritual blessing
• He chose us before the foundation of the world
• We are holy and blameless because of Christ
• We are adopted into the family of God and have full inheritance
• We have redemption, we are no longer slaves to sin, we have been saved into a family because of Christ
• We are FORGIVEN of all past, present, and future sin to the riches of His grace
• He LAVISHED his grace on us

I could go on and on…and Paul does in every letter to churches. He reminds the believers in the churches of what their image truly is before correcting behavior or addressing questions. Why? Because I forget the gospels meaning and power in my life. I try to form my imagined image on my own instead of remembering who we are in Christ and letting that form my image.

Sweet sister, we act like we believe. If we believe that our imagined image is what is important, then we work at it with all our might! We buy certain shoes and clothes, we join certain groups, we eat certain food, and we behave in a certain way. I pray this New Year we will all stop. Stop letting things and behavior determine our imagined image. I pray that we will actively think on what our image truly is: we are created in God’s image with intrinsic value, we were bought with a price, we are adopted, forgiven, showered with grace and mercy, loved, and have an inheritance, all to the Praise of His glory! Now act accordingly!

Your Sister in Christ,

Colleen

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Grace or Merit?

My Dear Sister,

It’s been a long day.  Annabelle, my 14-month-old daughter woke up cranky and continued to be so throughout the day.  She would not eat the food I prepared for her and she even gave me angry eyes as she forcefully pushed it away.   She wouldn’t play in the grass and she complained when I took her for a walk.  No treats for her tonight!  I don’t want her to think she can get away with how she behaved today.  As a parent I should correct consistently so she won’t build bad habits, right?  Finally, bedtime came complete with cries and leg kicking.  I shut the door to let her cry it out.

Giving her grace was nowhere in play this day.  And what is grace? Grace is getting what you don’t deserve.  Grace involves two parties where one party has wronged the other in some way, yet the one who was wronged gifts the wrong-doer not according to what he or she deserves, but rather out of a heart of unconditional generosity.  Wow, that’s a lot of words.  There is a difference between merited favor and grace.  Often we treat people with merit thinking its grace…if Annabelle is normally a well behaved child, then I will gladly give her a treat or overlook an act of disobedience because she is normally well-behaved. That is merit, not grace.  What if a badly behaved child does the same disobedience?  Would I give them the same treat or overlook the same offense?  If I was honest, I probably would not because I give treats based on past or overall behavior.  That is not grace.  Grace is given freely without regards to good or bad behavior.

The gospel is our example of grace.  Jesus lived a perfect life with no sin and was crucified a horrible death to take the entire penalty of sin.  He then arose three days later thus conquering the penalty of death.  This is called the “great exchange”…where Jesus took on ALL the sin of His children and then put His perfect righteousness on them so that God now looks them as righteous, as His adopted and chosen sons complete with the full inheritance of heaven!  Nowhere in the gospel are believers chosen for what they have done or not done…for how they behaved or did not behave.  They are gifted salvation by God’s unconditional generosity.

This day with Annabelle could have been so different.  If I had only remembered what God has gifted me in Christ (forgiveness of my sins, eternal life, righteousness, adoption, and the riches of heaven) and that He gave me this not because I deserved it, earned it, or merited it, then maybe I could have looked at Annabelle in the same manner.  I should have loved her in grace, had patience with her in grace, and not gotten flustered or frustrated with her lack of obedience or her foolishness.  Christ loved me before I believed; he gave me grace in my bad behavior…how much more should I give grace to my daughter (or husband, family, and friends)?  How would Annabelle act if I treated her with grace instead of merit?  Sure, there is a place for discipline, structure, and obedience, but it should be under the umbrella of the gospel of grace.  To give her a treat when she doesn’t deserve it and tell her that is what Jesus did for me!  He gave me life when I deserved death!  To play with her, when she “deserves” a time-out, to show her that the Father never turns His back on His children.  These actions and training can only come when her mom remembers the unmerited grace that was given her.  Annabelle might not have acted any different in this day, but her mom would have.

~Colleen

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The Ultimate Act of Kindness

Dear Sister,

The Ultimate Act of kindness;
As I penned the words in a letter that would never be delivered, my anger, bitterness, and un-forgiveness towards the offender was handed over to God. My sin had been dragging me down, like a huge boulder around my ankles, keeping me from the life of freedom and joy that was bought for me on the Cross. And though I didn’t see it at the time, I was participating in the greatest act of kindness ever done, the first true forgiveness begun at the Cross, and continued through my changed heart towards the one that had grieved me deeply.

In Ephesians, we find this command: Ephesians 4:32 (HCSB) 32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ. Here we see that there is a direct relationship between kindness and forgiveness. Think back to the last time you spoke an unkind word. What was the source of that unkind word, you might ask yourself? All too often, for me, it is bitterness that has grown within me, the result of a lack of forgiveness. Oh, how easy it is to collect past hurts, like trinkets in a curio cabinet, and allow them to collect dust within us. But our example is Christ, who put aside all things, to show us the ultimate act of kindness, his death on the Cross. We see this in Ephesians, as the verse begins with the topic of kindness, and ends with the example of the cross as the final summation of the idea, of the chapter.

All of our acts of kindness must flow out of that great and glorious example of grace shown us on the Cross. Without this as the motivation for our kindness, we will be giving in to a works-based mentality, relying on our own resources, and our limited supply of kindness, rather than on the unlimited treasures of God’s grace. In my mind, kindness then is the big and small acts of grace that we shower on those around us, because of the transformation we receive through Christ and His sacrifice.

Aristotle’s Rhetoric defines kindness as being “helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped.” (Wikipedia) What greater need did any of us have, but the salvation of our souls? And what act of kindness better exemplified an act not solely for ‘the helper himself, but for that of the person helped,’ than what Christ did for us on the Cross? I pray we would not lose the depth of this virtue, kindness, as simply one in a list of many others. No, it is the result of a transformed life, a life transfixed on the Gospel.

Be kind….just as God also forgave you in Christ.

Basking in His extravagant kindness….

Your sister,
Ruth