Tag: Family

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I Am Woman!!!

Dear sisters,

As I ruminate on this month’s topic of how biblical womanhood has affected my life, I have found myself pondering over my four decades of breath.  I must admit both my family and spiritual life have been quite an influence. My first understanding was that girls can do anything boys can do.  Then it changed into how I presented myself and whether I was married or not (a stereotypical function of a woman).  Next it was simply and only that I was an image bearer of God and follower of Christ. And finally, I am coming to realize that although God made me in His image equal in worth as a man, he designed for me different functions. And this function looks different as a single woman, married woman, mom, empty nester, or widow.

This journey began with me being born into a family with two older brothers, a dad, and a mom who is still a tomboy to this day. My mom came from a line of strong women who worked hard for the family as the men of the home struggled with alcoholism and holding a job.  She challenged me to play hard in sports, do well in school, and get a good job.  I never heard that my sex could keep me from achieving anything.

Regardless, I grew up desperately wanting to be a boy, so I could finally beat my brothers at something. I did manage (or was forced) to wear a dress to church every Sunday but wouldn’t be caught dead in one any other day of the week. The color pink for me was off-limits and my toy collection was Legos, Lincoln Logs, and Star Wars.  The idea of girls being different than boys was only mentioned by my parents so that my brothers wouldn’t hit me…to which they would reply, “she’s not a girl, she’s my sister!”  and then proceed to give me a “hurts donut.”

Then I attended a Bible school after high school.  Here I had a crisis of what it meant to be a biblical woman.  I was told how to do my hair, how to clean my shoes, that I had to wear dresses to learn, and that certain body functions were not allowed in the dorm. What?  The capstone was when I heard how many girls came to this school simply to get married rather than gain an education.  Being a biblical woman, it seemed, was how you presented yourself as well as being a wife and mother.  Huh. Something about that seemed off. I realized that being a wife and mom were biblical God-given gifts, but there had to be more than this stereotypical function to biblically define me as a woman.  What if I never got married?

I graduated the Bible school not married and I continued my education at a state school to get a degree in zoology.  I didn’t date.  I was focused on ministry in the local church and getting my diploma.  I can’t tell you how often I was asked, “When are you getting married?” or “Why aren’t you married”?  Most of these inquiries were from Christian people whom I know meant well, yet I couldn’t help wondering if they were implying that I was biblically not a complete woman unless I was married?  That didn’t seem right either.  God created me in His image, was I not complete in Christ alone?  Does biblical womanhood really mean I need to be married and have children?

It took almost another decade for me to discover what the bible really teaches about womanhood.  It begins in Genesis.  God created man, male and female, after His own image.  I have intrinsic worth because God made me!  So do you.  But wait, there is more.  God created Adam from the dust and breathed life into him.  God gave him the command to be a steward of all he had just created. Part of that stewardship was naming the animals.  Adam watched a parade of animals march by him, two by two, for probably what seemed like forever.  He saw each pair were the same…yet different.  We are told that there was not a companion suitable for Adam, so God put him asleep and formed Eve from his rib.  Not from his head to rule or from his feet to trample, but from his side, an equal companion!

What was Adam’s reaction? Was it a bro hug?  No, it was amazement and happiness.  This was a woman!  Equal in worth, yet we learn different in function and role.  God said this was good!  Eve was given the same intrinsic value of Adam, yet she also complimented him. He was made to lead, provide, protect, and love Eve.  She was made to help him emotionally, physically, and mentally as he led.  Adam and Eve were both necessary to reveal God’s glory. If this was not so, then why create male and female?  He could have stopped with just Adam, but he didn’t.

So, when I was a working single woman, I was no less incomplete. Scripture abounds with showing women thrive to the glory of God in their singleness. So my functional womanhood worked itself out as I used my gifts, service, and helper status in the local church.  Here I could love God and my neighbor to the glory of God as I serve the Lord emotionally, physically, and mentally as a woman.

Then God gifted me with my husband.  My functional single woman status changed to be his helper and companion.  At first this looked like me working to help him through seminary as well as joyfully submitting to him (OK, this is still a work in progress).  After seminary we started to have kids and so my functional role went from being a helper who also works, to being a mother who stays at home.  I have to remind myself often, that me not bringing home a paycheck does not mean my worth is less as a woman.  My intrinsic worth as an image bearer never changes, neither does my worth in Christ.  But functionally I am emotionally, physically, and mentally helping my husband and discipling my kids.  There will come a day when my kids are out of the house and I can work again if Barrett and I think that’s a wise decision.  There may even come a day when the Lord takes Barrett home.  What then?  Have I lost my biblical womanhood?  Absolutely not.

As I was teaching my daughter the differences between consonants and vowels today, I came across this analogy in her spelling book, “All people are either male or female. Each has strengths and weaknesses, and together we make up the human race.  We would not last long without each other.”  The analogy was trying to show that just like words cannot be made up of consonants or vowels alone, the human race would not survive with only male or females. God created male and female partners to compliment each other so that God’s full glory can be seen in our functional roles, no matter if you are single, married, a mom, work, unemployed, soldier, young or old.  When I realized that me being a woman has unique and special capacities that are different than a man and that they can be celebrated no matter what season I am in, I was overjoyed at God’s creative genius.

My journey of understanding biblical womanhood has been serpentine and at times, confusing. Yet God has used this sojourn to show me the brilliance of his creating man, both male and female after his own image and helping me to see the importance of my role.  I hope you do too.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen

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Wrestling, Wandering, Worry or Peace

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Dear Sister,

Our family recently returned from a trip across the eastern half of the United States. We visited Arkansas, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Virginia, South Carolina, and Florida. We drove to those states throughout the month of September with 5 kids and a ton of luggage in one van. We survived. We had a great trip. And, I was surprised!

We had planned and prayed for this trip for months prior. We prayed throughout the trip—prayed for safety, for good attitudes, for physical and financial health, for good relationships with family and friends, for good memories. God overwhelmingly blessed us. We arrived home at the end of September without any accidents (only a cracked windshield from an errant stone), all family members are still on speaking terms with us, no one got sick on the trip, the kids did a great job sitting and cooperating on the long drives, and we came home slightly under budget. Above all, we got to spend time with many family members and great friends along the way—fantastic connections.

I mentioned we prayed. God blessed us. So, why was I surprised? Don’t get me wrong, I was grateful. We got home and I breathed a tremendous sigh of relief and disbelief. Then I stopped. I serve a big God. He delights in giving good gifts to His children, and I asked for His blessing; but I was acting as if I anticipated disaster. Oh me of little faith. Granted there is no assurance that a perfect vacation will happen; however, if He loves His children and will work all things for good, then I should rest in His provision. Breathe. Rest.

Paul accomplished his trip to Rome (Acts 27-28) with a shipwreck, snakebite, lives saved, and sharing the Gospel of Jesus. It was more eventful than ours, but full of blessings regardless. The lessons I learned? 1) Never underestimate our great God—both in His ability to give good gifts and in creating unexpected riches in the midst of seeming tragedy. 2) Stop wasting time gnashing my teeth over possibilities. Plan, work hard, and leave the rest in His hands.

Dear sister, how many times I wrestled with this trip and my wrestling was in vain. Events happened, awful or outstanding, nevertheless my wrestling. How many hours I could have chosen to smile instead of wandering around in a frowning fog of worry! Please know His peace is extraordinary and we can experience it if only we allow Him to shower us with it. Rest in Him and in His plans for you, for your family, your town, our nation, and even our world.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7

Running with you,

Rebecca

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Wanted: A Helper…See Job Description Below

Genesis 2: 18

“And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone;

I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Have you wondered, Dear Christian Sister, what God did when he made us to be a helper? He gave us a huge job description, no doubt about it, one that was designed only for us and could only be met by us. We got the job, because we filled all of the qualifications for the position of the helper comparable to him, that is, to our husband!

We have been carefully selected and joined by God to our husband to meet his needs. If we look at other faithful Bible translations we will understand our role even better: “help mate” (KJV), “suitable to him” (NIV and NASB), and “fit for him” (ESV). We hold a diploma in each of those categories, so hang it on your wall, because we are going to enjoy our job and live up to the expectations of the King Himself!

Even better, our design as helper encompasses much more than matching our husband’s socks or making sure dinner is on the table when he returns to the home. We are helpers for mankind—helpers for the others in our family, helpers for our community, helpers for the church family and helpers within the Kingdom of God.

We shall never be bored, dear ones, because God gives us a tall order, He expects us to deliver, but also, He beautifully gives us all the equipment and resources we need—the models of Godly women who appear throughout the Scriptures.

As helper to our family, let us take note of Hannah, mother of Samuel. In 1 Samuel 1, Hannah prayed for a son. When our merciful God heard her prayer and gave her the son, she returned him to God, dedicating him to the service of the Lord, and making a special little coat for Samuel each year. Women blessed with children, remember this sweet action of Hannah when your children have special needs—physical, emotional or spiritual, when they require discipline for teasing one another, when they are gobbling down their favorite dessert that took half a day to prepare. As Hannah provided a little robe for her son, so we should provide a prayerful coverage of loving hope for our children—dedicating their life for the service of God. It makes all situations, even the most trying ones, so much more effortless-day after day after day.

As helper in our community, a great example is the beautiful Abigail. As you read 1 Samuel 25, note her genuine concern for damage control. Abigail’s husband, Nabal, was a mean individual who dishonored even the king’s personal envoys. When King David heard of his nasty treatment of them, the king was ready to send his army and destroy Nabal, along with his community. Abigail takes a treat of delicious food to King David and his army and apologizes for the vile behavior of her husband. When Nabal dies, King David sends for Abigail and marries her.

There are often situations in our community, the workplace—even the extended family—that may create distress in our personal relationships. People gossip about each other, grumble to each other, grit their teeth behind each other. I believe that we all have seen it happen, at the supermarket, on the highway, at the Little League tryouts and, yes, at Thanksgiving Dinner. We can be helpers of bringing the community back together, mending fences, allowing others to make something good out of something offensive. We may be perceived as little Pollyannas, but we may be the very ones used by God to present Jesus Christ to spiritually bankrupt people, and it does not require a degree in labor relations. Proverbs 25: 11 says:  “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Our next Thanksgiving Dinner table will look great with that as the centerpiece!

Finally, sweet Sisters, we can be helpers for the Kingdom of God in the role of evangelists. In John 4, the Samaritan woman at the well met Jesus face to face. He told her she was a sinner and, in so many words, He made her understand her need for a Savior and that He is that Savior. She joyfully and humbly went into her village—a village that most probably despised her because of her unholy lifestyle. The people of Samaria believed Christ as the Messiah and craved spending time with Him. Likewise, we should gladly obey Christ’s final command before He ascended into Heaven. Matthew 28: 19-20 reminds us of this command: “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

We are privileged to present Christ to people everywhere, by the way we respond, by the way we act or react, by the way we speak. These are very real ways we are helpers in the Kingdom of God. There is a hungry world out there and we have been bestowed the eternal Bread of Life that so many need right now. Let’s help feed them.

Our God made us exactly how He wants us for His purpose, for His Kingdom, for His name. May we be blessed today, Christian Sisters, to be a helper somewhere to someone for His glory!

From one Helper to Another,

Mimi

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I Shall Yet Praise Him…

My Dearest Sister,

You know those days where you wish you could just start over? Well, it’s been one of those days. I’ll spare you the gritty details, but let’s just say it involved a stressed husband, a screaming baby, and a long list of errands to run with said screaming baby. The headache I woke up with got worse as the day wore on and our apartment seemed to get messier before my eyes. The last thing I felt like doing in the midst of my frustration and tiredness was praising the Lord. Yet as I reflect back on my day, the words of Psalm 43:5 come to mind: “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.”

As my life seems to get busier and full of more responsibilities, I am learning that just because I am stressed or burdened, praising the Lord should still be a priority. In fact, it happens to be the very purpose for which we were intended. Psalm 148 tells us that all creation from the heights of the heavens to the depths of the sea are designed to praise God. Remember the story where Jesus was entering Jerusalem riding on the donkey? He told the disgruntled Pharisees that if His disciples were to stop proclaiming Him as Lord and King, the rocks would immediately cry out His praises. If the stones of the earth are intended to worship God, then how much more the man who was made in His own image?

It is important to remember sister, that not only were we created to proclaim God’s praises, but we do so because He is worthy of them. As Psalm 145:3 says “Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom.” It goes on to list all the many reasons why He deserves our praise, from the wonderful works He has done among us (vs. 4-6), to His unfailing goodness, grace, and compassion (vs. 7-9). The Lord is mighty (v. 11), He keeps his promises (v. 13), and He lifts up those who fall (v. 14). Our magnificent Father provides for us (v. 15), is righteous and loving in all His ways (v. 17), and watches over and protects us (v. 20).

Of all these reasons to proclaim God’s greatness, let’s not forget the one that allows us to know Him in the first place: “In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory” (Ephesians 1:13-14). When sin entered the world through the fall of man, it became a barrier between us and our most perfect Creator. However, in His infinite wisdom, God provided a way for us to be united with Him once again. By sending His precious, sinless Son to take the consequences of our iniquity, He provided a way of salvation from spiritual death and an eternity separated from Him. What could be more deserving of our endless praise than that?

If my attitude had been one of praise today, even though my soul felt cast down, my day would have turned out very differently. Times of frustration would have been opportunities to grow. My son’s inconsolable crying would have been a time to show compassion and love, just like the compassion and love God has shown me. The long list of things to do would have been a chance to thank Him for the family He has given me to clean up after and care for. Praising God through each and every hiccup of my day would have turned my focus from myself and my problems to Him and His glory. And that’s the whole point of praise, really. It’s turning our attention to the One who has created us in His wisdom, redeemed us in His love, and sustains us in His strength. For that, He is most worthy of our praise each and every day, from now until eternity.

“I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name forever and ever. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.” – Psalm 145:1-3

In His love, ~ Lauren

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A Hope to Encourage

My Dear Sister,

I have been pondering lately and I wanted to share these thoughts with you in order to encourage you.  There are two ways to view life: with or without hope.  Looking back over time we can see the pain of wars, death, destruction of cities, prostitution, murder, betrayal, lies, homosexuality, death of marriage and the family, government failures, and even stealing the innocence of children.  We see the masses dismiss God through evolution, feminism, existentialism, and the “freedom” of religion.  The support and comfort of the family has turned to the power of individualism.  Hope has been deferred.

Or…has it?

Paul tells us in Romans 15:4 “For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”

What hope comes through the encouragement of the Scriptures?  Don’t we see a thread of hopelessness through the kings, judges, and even the prophets?  Are not the psalms filled with cries to the Lord to defeat persecuting rulers and painful situations?  Yes.  But you also can see a thread throughout the scriptures screaming of hope.  This hope contrasts the darkness of each pain and cry of our hearts.  This hope is the ANSWER to each pain and cry of our hearts.  This hope is never deferred.  This hope never disappoints.  This hope is never a wish; it is a sure thing.

This thread of hope is the gospel.  The gospel reveals the hopelessness of sin so that the sweetness of the Savior shines sure.  With every pain written in scripture, the hope of a Savior is promised.  With every cry of the heart the hope of our savior is preached. This Savior’s birth is what is celebrated this Christmas.  This Savior humbled himself to come to earth as a man to live a perfect life so that he could die to pay for the hopelessness of our sin.  He rose again so that this hope is SURE forever. Our hope is a forward hope.  A hope that we have eternity with our Savior and Lord in the new Eden where there is no pain or tears.

So sweet sister, how are you viewing your life today? Is your focus on the hopelessness of this world or the hope of our Savior? Be encouraged today of the hope that is yours through Jesus Christ!

Your sister,

Colleen