Dear sisters,
Don’t we all remember our mothers and fathers saying to us, in front of others, “What do we say?”, and we dutifully answered the prompt, “Thank you.” If we have small children or grandchildren of our own we echo what our parents instilled in us. My dear mother reinforced this coaching by guiding me in composing meaningful thank you notes and I taught my children the same. Even my daughter with special needs reminds me it is time for her to write her thank-you note for the gift some thoughtful loved one presented to her recently.
Gratitude is commanded by God and it is essential for healthy psyches and for our spiritual selves. Even a secular health site I occasionally visit touts the salutary benefits of living lives of gratitude. If we are thankful people, thankful for all things in our lives, we are not grumblers, whiners, complainers, dissatisfied ones. We give credence to something or someone outside of ourselves for bringing good things to us. It is an antidote to pride and self-sufficiency. It hints of admission of dependency.
To whom are we grateful? We could be just appreciative in a nebulous sort of way, not really crediting anyone for actually giving us the thing we are thankful for. I’m so thankful for my health. My children are wonderful and my grandchildren even better! My bills are paid. I’m glad she’s my good friend. But to what or whom are we grateful? Our lucky stars? Fate? DNA? Our own hard work or charm? And what if what we received does not seem good, is unwanted, even painful? Are we supposed to give thanks for that?
I remember being on an argumentative family forum once when I commented on being grateful to God for all things. One of the responders asked why I had to thank Him. Couldn’t we all just be grateful, period? Just an attitude of being, not an act or attitude of heart toward an ultimate giver. Well, I suppose that’s slightly healthier than being a whiner, but…
As always, we come back to Scripture, our truth, our compass, our steadiness, the authoritative written Word of God. And God says, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks IN all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1Thessalonians 5:16-18) Again, in Ephesians 5:20, we are told to “give thanks always and FOR everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Giving thanks can show how appreciative we are for something we really like given by someone else, but we do not often thank people for being mean to us or hurting our feelings or such things. But God tells us, in our relationship with Him, to give thanks, not just IN all things, but FOR all things, as evidenced in the Scriptures just referenced. There is a difference. Lord, thank you that I can trust you during this difficulty. Thank you that you are conforming me to the likeness of your son in this circumstance. That’s gratitude IN. And that is good and commanded. But how about, “Thank you, Lord, for this illness, thank you for the breach in this relationship, thank you for this financial trial—knowing that God is always good and is working whatever is happening for our good in His great providence and wisdom. This is not an easy thing to do, but it is the time to adjust our hearts to correct theology about who God is, His love and care and compassion and wisdom—all seen in the circumstances He brings into our lives—the good and the seeming bad. And it is good for us because everything He tells us to do is good and right and beneficial. Not doing what He commands is not good, not right, and harmful.
Thankfulness to God displays obedience, trust, and rest in Him and His manner of gifts. It recognizes He is in command of every circumstance of life and acknowledges He is good in His decrees. It tears down prideful independence. Lack of gratitude shows disobedience, faithlessness, dissatisfaction, self-righteousness, unrest, and lack of contentment in His giving and His goodness.
We may not feel very grateful to people for everything they give or dish out, but we can give thanks to God for these things, asking Him to change our hearts, knowing there will somehow be blessing in the obedience and God is glorified when we acknowledge that His ways in our lives are worthy of gratitude. Obedience is often a sacrifice, a surrender, a denial of self, a putting God foremost in our thinking and agendas. A heart of gratitude is not in rebellion. It is a humble heart. It is a dependent heart. Without Him we are helpless and undone.
We have the promise that, “The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies Me…(Psalm 50:23a) This sacrifice includes the denial of self-power, of self-reliance, of self-aggrandizement, giving place to new desires and motives of pleasing Jesus. And whatever is done for Him, whatever honors Him and not self, matters, now and later.
I will ask God to help me remember these things when I sit with my family around the Thanksgiving table this year—the table with one less setting.
Love,
Cherry