Dearest Sister,
It is hard to admit that I struggle with anger. Perhaps you understand, as it is not exactly a ‘feminine’ quality! Certainly not the ‘gentle and quiet spirit’ that I am called to exemplify. But nonetheless, I will be honest and tell you that I have been quite surprised to see this in myself since getting married. Now mind you, this cannot be blamed on my husband, but I will say that marriage can bring out the best—and worst—in a person! More often than I’d like to admit, I can be short-tempered and easily frustrated with my beloved husband. As I thought through this issue, I came across this quote:
“Anger and bitterness are two noticeable signs of being focused on self and not trusting God’s sovereignty in your life. When you believe that God causes all things to work together for good to those who belong to Him and love Him, you can respond to trials with joy instead of anger or bitterness.” –John C. Boger
That gives me a lot to think about. You too? Getting to the root of the issue—self-focus, and doubt, well, now we have something to deal with! Often the idea of ‘anger management’ in the worldly sense is simply a set of coping skills to live with a sin problem. Pardon me if I have offended you, but I am preaching to myself first of all. Anger does not need to be ‘managed’, but instead, put to death. When I address my selfishness, and my doubt in God’s goodness…then I am on the path to victory.
Another realization of mine, as I think through this particular struggle, is that my anger rises up when I do not see a desire of mine being fulfilled. Let’s call it what it is—whether expressed silently or vocally, it is a demand. ‘Something’ must happen in order to secure our happiness, and when it doesn’t, well, we get our knickers in a knot, now don’t we? I know I can.
Let us run to the Lord as we pray this prayer, adapted from Colossians 3: 8, 12-13:
“Lord God, please help us put away all anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk that may come from our mouths. May we put on instead, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven us, so we also must forgive.”
The road to righteousness is not easy, I must remind myself, but with the all-sufficient grace of God, we will find strength to begin again each day.
Keep fighting, dear sister. And rest in the knowledge of your beloved-ness….
Ruth