A Blessing In Disguise

My Dearest Sister,

​When we think of loneliness, usually our immediate response is that it is negative. We usually cite Genesis 2:18 or Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 and say that God did not intend for us to be alone. While it is true that God created us as social beings who are designed to function better together rather than by ourselves, the truth is you can still feel lonely without actually being alone. Have you ever been surrounded by people, even those who you know love and care about you, and yet still feel that heavy void overwhelm you? I certainly have. As a military wife, loneliness is just sort of a regular occurrence. Every time I say goodbye to my husband, even if it is just for a short training exercise, I feel that weighty, gaping void settle in my chest. Yes, it certainly helps to surround myself with other believers who can uplift and encourage me, but I still struggle with feelings of loneliness nonetheless. I can only imagine how my fellow military sisters who are facing their third, fourth, or even fifth deployment feel. The truth is God never said that loneliness would be absent from our lives. In fact, sometimes it can even be a blessing in disguise.

​My first personal experience with that overwhelmingly deep loneliness came when Isaac joined the Army several years ago. We had been married less than a year and the program he was in required a total training time of four months, a daunting hurdle to a newlywed who had never been apart from her husband. I reassured myself that I was strong and could handle the separation, however when he finally departed nothing could prepare me for the ensuing loneliness that would consume me day and night. Even though I moved in with family during that time I still felt very alone. I constantly battled against the deep ache of missing my closest companion, longing for something more than the five minute phone calls every few weeks. Finally, in complete desperation I cried out to God, pouring out my pain at His feet, and asking Him to fill that deep loneliness that was eating away at my spirit. I began studying the Bible every morning, praying to Him, and just spending time fellowshipping with my heavenly Father.

​And do you know what happened? I noticed an immediate change in my ability to cope with missing my husband. I still felt the pangs of loneliness but they weren’t nearly as strong as before. You see, I hadn’t realized just how much I had been neglecting my relationship with God; Sadly, other things had become more important to me than spending some one-on-one time with the Lord of my life. Because God is immensely powerful and holy, I think it became easy for me to forget that He is also our intimate friend and companion. He wants us to depend on Him for guidance, turn to Him for reassurance, and cry out to Him for comfort. Sometimes that deep aching void we call loneliness is simply a sign that we need to pursue the Lord first, above all of our other relationships. Not only will doing so strengthen our faith and our testimony but sister, it is the only way we will find lasting comfort and peace. Strong marriages, faithful friends, and a loving churches are great to have and we should definitely pursue them, but nothing can replace that constant kinship that we find in our Lord’s presence.

​I know that sooner or later Isaac will probably get his orders for deployment. And while the thought of the immense loneliness that comes with it used to terrify me, I now know that it will be a remarkable opportunity to lean even more on my heavenly Father, to become even stronger in my faith. I cannot fathom the depths of loneliness that have been felt by some of my fellow military wives who have been through multiple deployments or even lost their husbands in combat, but I do know one thing: they are some of the strongest, most God-loving women I have ever known. So don’t despair if you are facing a season of loneliness in your life, my sister. Instead, seize that ache in your heart as an opportunity to grow closer to your heavenly Father. Not only is He the only One who can completely fill that void, but His is also the most important relationship you will ever pursue.

​“Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with Your wise counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is none upon the earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”​- Psalm 73: 23-26

In His Love,

Lauren
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