Dear sister,
I know how you feel, I really do. No matter how hard you try to fill your deep need for approval, nothing really ‘does it’ for you. All of us sisters have been gathered ‘round this month, chatting about our imperfections and need for grace. I feel that vast pit in my soul that cries out for love, just like you do. Isn’t that what drives our image obsessions? Don’t you want someone to affirm your beauty, worth, and loveable-ness? Well, I’m grabbing your hand and we’re doing a happy-dance together, because you ARE loved! I am loved! Loved with purpose, intention, passion, and complete abandon.
Why is it that the knowledge of Christ’s sacrificial love often does not penetrate our hearts and give us rest from striving for perfection? Why do we, why do I, feel the constant compulsion to prove our worth and value in every other way than in the proven love of Christ? This question has haunted me over the years, as I’ve wrestled with the vast expanse between my knowledge of God’s love and deep belief and experience of that love. Like a windshield wiped clean in the fog, I’m starting to get a clearer picture of the mystery I’ve faced. To be frank, I’ve resisted His love. I’ve chosen to go to so many broken cisterns, and God will not compete for affection.
For My people have committed a double evil: They have abandoned Me, the fountain of living water, and dug cisterns for themselves, cracked cisterns that cannot hold water. – Jeremiah 2:13
When we persistently chose other gods, He allows it (Romans 1). But even in giving us over to our sin, His purpose is to win us back again. God is a relentless lover, and will not give up on us. We see this clearly in the Old Testament, as Hosea the prophet is asked by God to marry the prostitute Gomer. We are just as unfaithful, sweet sisters. Every time we run to another ‘god’ for affection, approval, and worth, we turn away from God. Look at Hosea 2:6-8:
Therefore, this is what I will do: I will block her way with thorns; I will enclose her with a wall, so that she cannot find her paths. She will pursue her lovers but not catch them; she will seek them but not find them. Then she will think, “I will go back to my former husband, for then it was better for me than now.” She does not recognize that it is I who gave her the grain, the new wine, and the oil. I lavished silver and gold on her, which they used for Baal.
When I first read this passage, I remember being very upset that God would do such a thing, but it is true compassion that He allows the other ‘gods’ we worship to disappoint us. Because they will, sister. Perhaps you, too, find everyday idols to be so very tempting…and this includes the high opinions of others that we often desperately crave.
We also see this in 2 Corinthians 3, as Paul contrasts the Old and New Covenants. Similarly, when we strive for the perfect image, we are living under the law, but when we live in the freedom of God’s love for us, we are transformed! Have you ever seen someone in love? She’s probably glowing in the knowledge of her Beloved’s love. You sister, can have that glow too! Read in 2 Corinthians 3: 17-18:
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
Why not REST in the knowledge of God’s love? That has been so difficult for me to learn, and I finally threw up my hands and starting asking God to please. help. me. There’s nothing to feel badly about though, we’re all learning! We need to repent and move on to new life in Christ! In fact, Jesus even acknowledges this learning process in Matthew 11:29:
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
He’s been so faithful to help me. He has pried my hands off of so many silly obsessions and placed my eyes and heart squarely back on His face, his heart for me. It’s certainly been a journey, but I’m making small steps every day, every year. Sister, we can count on the promise of God’s never-failing love!
Abraham was promised a child, promised that He would be the father of many nations. In Genesis 15 we see that rather than giving Abraham the solution he wanted on the spot, God performed an ancient ritual that showed His commitment to keeping His promise to Abraham. In the midst of Abraham’s questions, God offered him what he offers us all: “Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.”
God’s love is the shield that protects us from the lie that we need to perform to win approval. God himself is the reward we crave, not the perfect appearance we are striving for. We’ll be delving into this deep ocean of love for the rest of our lives, but start the journey now. Ask God to take away the idols that require so much of you. You will never satisfy the demands you or others place on you for image-perfection. It’s time to turn in your resignation as Image Consultant and start day one as Beloved Daughter of the Most High God!
Loved by God~ your sister,
Ruth