Category: The Tongue

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Words with a Purpose

My dear sister,

This month the topic is “the tongue”; and so as I pondered that, several instances, phrases and bible verses came to my mind. It has taken prayerful consideration for the Lord to put in order all the ideas converging in my head and my heart.

Many years ago I heard the term; “she has a tongue hinged in the middle”. I am not sure about you but that picture in my mind, with the help of my imagination made me laugh. That is until I met someone in which my imagination was not necessary! In fact, while listening to this person talk (and talk, and talk….) I found myself staring past her lips into her mouth as it open and shut (completely tuning out her words mind you) to see if I could catch a glimpse of a shiny hinge within.

What this term means is that someone can say one thing to one person’s face and then turn around and say to another person something different, and usually it’s bad about the person they just had spoken to! This was the term used in my Mother’s generation for what my generation called; being two faced.

Speaking of my Mom, she used to say to me and my siblings; “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!” Her hope as a widowed mother of five, I am certain (because she told me later) was to have some peace and quiet in her home. Needless to say, her words of advice along with my acute observations of my older siblings who did not heed her wisdom and the resulting consequences of their actions, had a very strong impact upon my personality. I am a fairly quiet person!

Somewhere in between these two pieces of advice must be a balance right? Amy Carmichael once wrote that before she spoke she would ask herself three little questions: “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” this gave me some comfort! Speaking (communicating) is a good thing, a God given thing. But it does come with some responsibility and that means it is to be thoughtful! These three questions help me stay within the lines of God’s character, and His will for me as given in His word.

Is it true? One of God’s commandments given to the Israelites was : “thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor” (Exodus 20:16) Did you know that our tongues and the words we speak come directly from our hearts? (Matthew 15:17-20) when you and I engage in conversation it is very revealing as to what rules our hearts! While speaking with others do we lack in the truth factor? Do we impute motives where we are not sure because we have not bothered to check the facts or maybe the story or information sounds better if said this way versus the truth? Paul exhorts all Christians to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).

Which brings me to the second question; Is it kind? Is love the motivation for what is being said? Not the world’s definition of love but God’s definition of love. I Corinthians 13:4-8 ; “patient and kind, does not envy, does not parade itself, is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”. When measured by God’s standard of love I find myself falling short most of the time. However, for those rare times when what I am about to say passes the litmus test of the first two questions, it is that third question that compels me to be silent.

Is it necessary? Once again I am challenged within my heart to examine my desires. What motivates my speech (conversation)? Is it necessary according to my own selfish desires? “I must be heard on the matter”, “I am right they are wrong and the matter must be rectified” Is every single detail important? Psalm 52:4 stops me in my tracks often; “you love all devouring words you deceitful tongue!”. Our words do have a purpose, they are to build each other up not to tear each other down!

May I encourage you dear friend? Take some time out of your day today (do not put it off til another day) to do a personal study in God’s word on the tongue. Here are some helpful places to start:

Psalm 5:9; 10:7; 12:4; 139:4 Proverbs 10:20; 10:31; 15:4; 18:21; 21:23

These are just a tiny fraction of what our faithful Father in heaven has to say about our tongues. I will warn you, be prepared to change the way you speak to others (especially those you love)! I know my habits have changed drastically over the last twenty years.

Blessings from your sister,
Susan

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When Did Words Become So Powerful?

My dear sisters,

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will break my heart.” That was the first line to a song I used to play when I was a kid. Funny how most of us think it’s the other way around. I’ve also heard the phrase, “words can heal, words can kill”. True. I’ve been on both sides of that equation, have you? I also remember one of my students in Thailand asking me, “Ms. Colleen, how do words become “bad words”? Great question! Why do words have so much power and what makes them good or bad?

James asks a similar question (Chpt 3):

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet hit boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers,3 these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

WOW! I don’t know about you, but that digs deep and is worth a second read. First we see that we all stumble with our words. We all have a palate for shoe leather. None of us can control our tongue and we can start a fire of sin and pain with what spews forth. Even the wildest animals can be tamed, but we cannot tame our tongue. We are hypocrites, saying we love God on Sunday or during small group and then we curse God for some circumstance or person in our lives. Ouch. I’ve done that, have you? Our tongue has a root that anchors in our hearts. In fact, the Bible says that out of the outflow of our hearts, the tongue speaks. So what is in our hearts, dear sister? Are they on the foundation of what we have in Christ? Do we fill our hearts with the truth of the gospel and the forgiveness of our sin or the gripes of the world and selfishness?

Even with this knowledge, we know we will fail. What is our hope when that happens? Our hope is in Christ. He spoke perfectly in our place! He paid the price for our evil tongue! He took the wrath of our unguarded speech so that our speech is now His!

Yes, words can heal and kill. Words can break our heart. And what about “bad words”? Bad words are those that come from a heart fixed on its own desires and feelings, not Christ. Words that heal come from a heart that honors Christ. Words that break hearts come from a heart that loves self more than Christ. Sweet sister, speak from a heart that seeks to glorify Christ and your tongue will become as healing as Christ’s!

~ Colleen