Category: Self Control

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The Beauty of the Cross and Self Control

Dear sister,
 
Greetings in the grace and peace of our dear Lord and Savior!  I pray you are finding joy in the journey, even as you struggle with this topic of self-control.  It is one that has perhaps been lost from the dialogue of our culture.  Control myself, what?  The idea of controlling any of our selfish and self-centered appetites seems to be beyond what should be expected of the average American.  Forgive me for my strong words, but do you not agree?  Is not a lack of self-control the very evil that plagues our government, as their spending catapults us all nearer every day to disaster?  I pray that it will not be so, but it seems that even our leaders are blind to the fact that taming our desires will bring the joy we crave, rather than giving in to every whim and fancy, be it labeled ‘benevolent and/or necessary’ or not.  
 
With that being said, I dare say you shudder at the thought of your own fleshly desires taking control of the Spirit-led nature you hope to foster.  Certainly, though you struggle, you are cognizant of the calling we have as Christians, to be controlled by our blessed Master and the Spirit He has left in us to guide and direct us while on this earthly journey.  I urge you to recall the proverb, chapter 25, and verse 28, “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” (NIV)  I do hope and pray that the walls of your soul are not ‘broken through’ as a result of your own careless whims.  How deceitful is the sin that lives within us!  We are so easily led astray, and I know that I, for one, can so easily justify my actions and thoughts, rather than submit them to Christ.  
 
But is not self-control restrictive, you protest?  Ah, yes.  I understand.  I really do.  This concern had been one of my own in years past; particularly as I thought about how I would someday submit to a husband.  Will he not tell me every small thing that I must do?  Will he micro-manage my day, my life?  Will I not be my own person any longer?  And from this side of that altar, I do say, submission to my husband and Christ is better than any freedom I ever had as ‘my own person’.  I will argue this point to any modern woman who declares she will never allow a man to ‘tell her how to live’…and though my dear husband is imperfect, I have experienced that it is much better to trust his leading as guided by Christ, than to insist on my own way.  Just the same, I feel this is the battle we face with self-control.  Will we live according to our own fleshly desires, or submit to our Maker and Husband, Jesus Christ, who endured the horrible cross to make us his own?  

I have been meditating on the Cross, and its beauty, as expressed in our Savior Jesus Christ.  Read with me in Philippians 2:5-11:
“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! 9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (NIV).

This is the only real and lasting motivation for submitting ourselves to the control of the Holy Spirit, for He took this path before we ever were asked to follow.  He has taken me, a wild rose, and grafted me into the True Vine, controlled by His loving Spirit—you too can find this joy.  You must simply repent and ask for His strength.  He is faithful to provide all we need to walk this road of self-control.  
 
Be blessed,
Ruth

 

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Run, Sister, Run!!!!

My Dearest Sister,
 
​Have you ever felt like you were running through life as if it were a race? You are constantly sprinting toward the next goal, always focused on the task at hand. Sometimes though, you start to get tired and it seems like the race will never end. Each breath you take is labored and your legs are becoming weak. Finally, when you feel you can’t go another step, you stop running and collapse in a heap on the pavement, trying to catch your breath. You may be asking yourself what is wrong with you, why is this so difficult? You had felt perfectly capable of your ability to run the race just a few minutes ago. The air was crisp, and you were prepared for the challenge at hand – or so you thought. Instead, you feel defeated, like everything has been all messed up, and you’re not sure how to get up and keep running the race.

​If you can relate at all to this situation, I have a scripture that I would like to share with you. In 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Paul writes to the church at Corinth, describing life as like a race. We are all running and most of us want first place. However, there is a catch to doing well in this race. In verses 25-27 Paul says “And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things…. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.” According to this passage, temperance – another word for self-control – is key to finishing well in this race of life. If we don’t have any discipline in our lives, not only is the opportunity to get first place gone, but we may as well consider ourselves disqualified altogether. Ouch! Unfortunately for you and I, self-control is one of those things that just doesn’t come naturally to most people. Our sinful human natures are all about gratifying the self and seeking pleasure in the moment. For the Christian though, having self-control means that the self is denied and worldly pleasures are given up to pursue something much greater. It means not thinking, saying, and doing things that are displeasing to God and actively thinking, saying, and doing the things that are pleasing to Him. Basically, being spiritually disciplined means following the rules that God has laid out for us, because it is not ourselves but He who knows what is best for us. It all sounds pretty basic in theory, but – as I’m sure we both know from personal experience – it is much harder to put into practice.

​As I am reading Paul’s words about self-control, I have a picture in my mind of a professional marathon runner. If they are serious about their profession, they usually have a set of rules they follow consisting of things they should not do and things they should do. These athletes eat healthy diets and drink lots of water. They adhere to rigorous workout schedules and seek the advice of a personal trainer. They abstain things that are harmful to their performance such as sweets, fatty foods, and alcohol; They take what they do seriously and their eye is always on the prize. If marathon runners didn’t practice discipline and self-control in every area of their life, when it came time for a race they would become easily tired and finish at the back of the pack – or worse, not finish at all. Well, it is very much the same for a Christian. To run the spiritual race well, we must ingest the Word of God (Psalms 119:10-11) and thirst for the things that, like water, are good and pure (Phillipians 4:8). We have our very own personal trainer, the Holy Spirit, who helps us when we don’t know how and gives us the encouragement we need to keep running (Romans 8:26). We are to abstain from sin, which hinders our spiritual performance and exercise daily what we learn through practice (James 1:21-22). It is about having temperance “in all things,” in every area of our lives. And if we practice good spiritual discipline, when it comes time for the race, we will be able to run without getting tired; our legs will have power and our hearts will be strong because we have sought God and He has prepared us. We will not “run with uncertainty” as Paul says, but with purpose, always keeping our eyes on the goal. It is only with the self-control of a disciplined spiritual runner that we will finish the race well.

​Unlike a marathon runner though, the prize we run for is not a gold medal that after a while will just be a memento of the past collecting dust on a shelf. As Paul says in verse 25, “Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown.” I get very excited when I think about what that crown means. It’s not just a prize or a pretty keepsake; it’s a crown reserved for royalty, for the adopted children of the King of Kings. That crown is for heirs to a kingdom, joint heirs with Christ, just as it says in Romans 8:17. How often though, do we act like heirs to the kingdom of God? Does our life show that we are disciplined runners who practice self-control through the power of the Holy Spirit within us? Is our eye on the prize, constantly reminding us that we are children of a Mighty Lord? Or are we slacking when it comes to our spiritual diet and exercise program? Sister, hear me when I say that we need to be mindful of the prize at hand. We need to run with certainty and purpose, for not only are other people watching, but that crown is not something to be lost because we failed to take the race seriously. So run, dear sister! Run with discipline and purpose for that glorious and imperishable prize. Run like a daughter of the King of Kings. I will see you at the finish line!
 
​Your loving sister in Christ,
​~ Lauren

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The Virtue of Self Control

Dear Sister,

As the autumn leaves begin to express changes beyond their control, I meditate upon what truly controls those changes that always result in the colorful splendor of a landscape that had been monochromatic for many months.  It is not that the leaves lack self control.  It is that they submit to the One Who controls the leaves—and everything else in His Creation.

Often enough, I think that I am in control of my time and space, my person and health, my ambitions and my will.  I make my agenda, go for my walk, and make my plans.  I think that I have it all together—that is, until someone or something gets in the way of what follows the “my”.

I used to believe that self-control was something I demonstrated to others.  I always received an A on my report cards in the area of Behavior and Self-Control.  How glad I was to know that the teacher had missed those times— when I chatted during class, when I used a cheat sheet, or when I lied that I knew John Lennon’s cousin!   With total satisfaction, I took my “A” in Behavior and Self-Control and thought of myself as being a very good little girl.

You know, Dear Sister, my Christian walk began late in life, but, I thank my God for His perfect timing.  I love my Holy God, I love the Holy Bible, and I love His holy people.  But what I do not love is the sinner that I was and still am.  To think that my good behavior and self-control had been rewarded, I recognize even that as sin.  There is no small sin—not for a child, not for a woman, not for the daughter of the Most High God.  Sin is sin, the result of not having self-control.

How could there be true self-control, without God controlling the SELF?  Whenever I forget that, and I forget it too often, I will answer unkindly, or boil up with impatience, or participate in gossip.  You could see me in action anytime someone crosses my plans, or crosses my path, or crosses my pride.  There is only one cross that should affect us. It is the Cross of Christ.  

Self-control is a wonderful virtue that comes when we believe that all of our sins—past, present and, future sins— are completely forgiven because God has given us the faith to believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior.  His death on the cross was not drama for books and films, but was a real event that had cosmic effect over all time, space and creation.  It is a virtue that helps us set limits, restrains our behaviors, and keeps us hopeful.  As Peter states so tenderly: “Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.”  (1 Peter 1:13)  Although Peter may be speaking here about Christ’s Second Coming, for new believers, or for those you and I meet today who may believe, this is great advice for the changing of lives and for the renewing of minds.  

As you and I, Dear Sister, continue in our Christian walk, remember that we want to hate sin and anything out of control that reeks of sin, and that when we do sin, we have Jesus, our Advocate, and God’s Throne of Mercy and Grace.  We need to remember that our Christian walk is paved with virtuous struggles, preserving us by God’s Holy Spirit.  Again, I refer to Peter, whose lack of self-control mirrored our impetuosity, our impertinence, and our impropriety.  He indicates here how each virtue moves toward self-control, and, then, builds upon self-control.  

From 2 Peter 1: 6-8,  “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.  For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”  

Notice, Dear One, self-control is right in the middle!
Let us look, again, at the exquisite leafy panorama in orange, yellow, red and gold, and remember that the same God Who controls these dying leaves, are controlling us and preserving us for a magnificent eternal life with Him.
Enjoy His gift of autumn!
Mimi
 
 

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The Pursuit of Self Control

Dear sister,

To be sure there are older and wiser women with much more experience in this particular area than I can hope to boast about at the ripe old age of 20. Thankfully though, I don’t have to come up with a lot to say about the topic of self-control because the word of God, truthfully, speaks for itself. It is living and active after all (Heb. 4:12). So what does God’s word say about self-control, in general and particularly for women?

Well, first let’s look at Proverbs 25:28. It says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” What kind of picture does that paint for you? I see that a man without self-control is an easy target for predators and when they strike not only do they easily break in but they also break down your walls, leaving you unprotected and vulnerable for another attack. Yikes, That’s not a pretty picture! I don’t know about you sister, but I had not ever thought that self-control was necessary for my very own protection. Or that it would help me fight off my attackers.

As if that was not enough to grab your attention,I want to now focus your attention on I Corinthians 9:25-27. Paul says, “Every athlete exercises self-control in all things…So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” The first thing I notice in this passage is Paul’s use of the word all. ALL things. “Even homework, Paul?” “Yes, Kayla, even homework.” “What about my thought life, Paul, you can’t expect me to control what I think, can you?” “Yes, Kayla, you must discipline your mind.” “What about when I wake up and when I go to bed, that doesn’t really matter right, Paul?” “No, Kayla, you must discipline your body as well.” “Oh, so all things really means all things then, doesn’t it?” “Yes, Kayla, that’s right.” Though this dialogue may be amusing, I think it hits pretty close to reality. We tend to want to make God’s word say something that we think is more reasonable or less extreme, as if we know better than God does! Dear sister, surely we know by now that we do not think like God does and that his knowledge and discernment is far superior to our own earthly wisdom. We have to remember, dear one, that we don’t have the power of the editor. We can’t erase words and replace them with different ones or change the meaning of a verse. As children of God we must take every word of God as authoritative and apply to our lives as such. So when God says, “Exercise self-control in all things.” He means, “Exercise self-control in all things.” Not in some things, or in the things that are easy for you, but in all things.

Paul goes on to say that he does not ‘box as one beating the air’. Imagine that for a second. What is a boxer beating the air accomplishing? Nothing! In fact, he looks foolish because he has no target. So must we, if we are to bear the name of Christ well, be self-controlled and discipline our bodies “lest after preaching to others [we] should be disqualified.” Paul is saying, “If I don’t practice self-control, how can I expect others to do such?” He goes so far as to say that a failure to control oneself results in disqualifying yourself from the faith.

Finally, self-control is an essential attribute of godliness. First Timothy 2:9 speaks of how women should adorn themselves with self-control (among other things). If you are seeking to become a godly woman, neglecting self-control is not an option. We must learn to discipline our minds and our bodies, being controlled by the Spirit and not by the flesh. For me, and maybe for you as well dear sister, this may seem an impossible task. Self-control is something I struggle with (and fail at) frequently. And not only that, it seems to be the source of many of my other problems. But find hope and take courage in II Timothy 1:7: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.” Nothing is impossible for God. He has given us all that we need to be victorious. Lean on Him and plead with Him to help you dismantle all that hinders you in your pursuit of self-control. Throw off yourself and be controlled by the love of Christ.

“For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” ~II Cor. 5:14-15

Your sister,

Kayla

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Sailing with the Spirit

My Dearest Sister,

I am writing to you at a time when my daily schedule is so full that one small blip and it throws the whole thing off kilter.  At this same time in my life I keep hearing about the necessity to be “flexible”.  Well, I never was one that was much good at doing two things at once. But I can tell you that there was a time when if I had a schedule in my hand…watch out, things were going to get done that seemed impossible.

It used to be so easy- sailing through the day with a schedule in front of me, when lo and behold someone or something would come along (usually a small child with a problem to solve, or homework to do, or a game to get to) and blow me off course from that schedule.  I didn’t seem to mind if the day required lowering my sail and tacking in order to catch  a breeze and take off on a different course. Because some times that new direction, that burst of wind would grant me the adventure of something exciting, like flying a hull! Those were the days!

At my age I’m looking for that steady wind which will carry me from the moment my toes touch the floor next to my bed until my head reunites with my pillow at the end of the day.  I’m not sure if you can tell yet, I’m a bit miffed!  I have been praying for relief from this sense of constant “readjusting” for weeks- not to mention the disappointment that comes when I realize that all the tacking, all the rearranging of my sails, is getting me absolutely nowhere with regards to my goal for the day.

So while I sat one day, sweating out one of those stalls in my sails (literally sweating by the way, which also comes at this age) something dawned on me. That something was: a good sailor knows  when to tack, when to lower and when to raise the sails.  How does a good sailor know?  As I contemplated this it hit me! Kinda like the boom will if you’re not careful! A good sailor WAITS!  WHAT?? As this thought came to me I said, “No! There is no time for waiting in this sailor’s log.  How does someone wait when the pressure is on to turn that boat around, catch that next breeze and blow out of here?” A good sailor will practice self control.

“Wait on the LORD and be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the LORD!” Ps. 27:14

I must confess, and admit that after years of being a redeemed child of God embraced by His amazing grace, I know that there is more power, more clarity and wisdom in waiting on the LORD for one split second than there is in hundreds or thousands of minutes rushing ahead or plowing through with my agenda, simply because I must.

Colleen has reminded me that to practice self control is to actually take self right out of the picture.  To be fruitful with self control means letting go of the self and being controlled by the Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is far wiser and more powerful than I could ever pretend to be.

I am so grateful to God for graciously gifting me with His Spirit.  In all of my flailing about with my thoughts I am assured of the life preserver which He has already given me.  The more I commune with Him, the deeper I go with Him in my heart the full-er my sails are, the more constant the breeze that fills those sails, and the dearer the waiting becomes to await a new  course, even if it wasn’t in my plan of the day. I must remember to record in my sailors log that when I am filled with the Spirit, I am controlled by the Spirit.

This sailor is going to sail into and through this day with my heart set on practicing Spirit control, waiting for Him to direct my course when it needs readjusting.  I hope dear sister that you too will be encouraged to humbly and gratefully use what God has already supplied to sail away into and through your day!

Because of His Grace,

Susan