Category: Resentment

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Apparent Injustice…Nevertheless!

Dear Sister,

There is a certain passage in the Bible that is my go-to when I can’t sleep at night, or when I am running or swimming those seemingly endless laps. They are not the typical motivational verses; in fact, the chapter begins with the author recounting how he resents God’s version of justice.

So why would I choose this particular chapter to regularly camp out in, memorize, and meditate out of the whole treasure of God’s Word? Well, because the writer questions God’s decisions to allow evil, lazy, prideful people to have abundance on earth and he finds the answer to his question about God’s justice (how often do I ask God “Why?!”). How is that justice good and right? The writer goes to church. There, in his time with God, his eyes are opened. He peers into the future of those people content without God. Their future is complete destruction. In His mercy and desire that none perish, God may be slow to wrath by our perception of time, but those who finally meet Him after choosing to shun Him throughout their lives will be utterly undone! No escaping, no hiding, no excuses, just stark, bold truth and devastating judgment.

Then, the author remembers in the midst of his jaw-clenching, passionate (even beast-like) resentment of God’s apparent injustice that his only recourse is to cling to God. There is no one, and nothing else on earth or heaven that can save (and which has imperishable, immeasurable worth) but God. He is God—there are no comparisons. He will do things incomprehensible to me, for I am like an infant in wisdom and righteousness.

“Nevertheless”

Defined: “in spite of that; notwithstanding; all the same.” Whatever I may think, whatever I may want, whatever I may do (or others do), He is my all: “I am continually with Thee.”

“You have taken hold of my right hand.” He holds me. My strength and convictions would surely be insufficient—what a comfort He has taken my hand. Those who choose to forsake or ignore God are destroyed. Resentment dissolves as I too decide, “But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works.” (Psalm 73:1-28)

He is our all. Our hope, our promise, our treasure. Set aside any resentment you might have toward God, dear sister, for this is not our home—simply our race. The race is supposed to be difficult—testing us, refining us, stripping away the imperfect, building eternal muscle. Our reward will be hard won and that much more beautiful for the sacrifices. (Heb. 12:1-3)

Running with you,

Rebecca

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Help For A Prideful Heart

My dear sister,

I can tell when I’m getting there: my belly tightens, my countenance falls, and my eyes can’t meet theirs.   These physical reactions are manifestations of what is going on in my soul…choosing to not forgive the person for what they have done to me. After all, if I was in their position, I would have never made the choice they did: to hurt me. Or so I make myself believe so I can feel good about holding onto my resentment that is quickly rolling into bitterness.

I read somewhere that anger responds to an incident, about what someone did, where resentment (that leads to bitterness) is a settled stance against the person. I have found that true in my life, have you? I have determined in my heart that I will not like or forgive a person. The hurt they inflicted on me (abuse, break of trust, afflicting my child, adultery, firing me, etc.) is something that I can never forgive or forget.

I wish I had more than a few paragraphs to work through this, as it is an issue that is insidious in women’s lives and sometimes needs years of biblical counseling. But there is hope for you and me. Please let me preach to myself as I write to you.

Resentment and bitterness in my heart shows that I have forgotten how much sin Jesus paid for me on the cross. Please take time to read Matthew 18:21-35 where Jesus tells a parable of a servant who was freed from a lifetime of debt, jailed his servant who owed him a hundred days wage. Jesus has paid for all my ugly sin against God and all my neighbors, yet I can’t forgive one neighbor. “But I would never have done what they did!” Oh sister, but by the grace of God we are where we are. We are all capable of all sin. We murder in our hearts. We commit adultery with our choices of books, TV, or thoughts. We connive to get our way. We manipulate our husband, friend’s and family. And if you proudly say you haven’t done these, you now have shown your prideful heart.

We need God’s forgiveness in our lives! If we forget this, resentment against others moves in. As believers, we are known by our love to God and neighbor. If our love is not shown as forgiveness to those who have hurt us, how can we be sure that we truly trust that the Lord has forgiven us? If we genuinely believe that we have been shown mercy by our Creator, how can we not then show mercy to fellow offenders?

Finally, the Lord says that vengeance is His, not ours. We are not judge and jury over others, God is. Let the Lord deal with your offender. He will do them justice. He will give them what they deserve. So sister, let them go. Pray that they will find their forgiveness with the Lord rather than face the wrath of hell for eternity (what we all deserve). Serve them. Impossible? YES! That is why we need an all powerful God and Spirit to help us do what we cannot do on our own. Will we fail? Yes. Let’s be honest, we are human. But then…remember! Christ died for our bitterness and resentment! Repent! Find the refreshment of being cleansed by the blood. Then, let this be your inspiration to free your offender. Look them in the eye and forgive them as you have been forgiven.

Oh God! Help us! This is so difficult! We need you to help us not be resentful. Wash us anew in your grace and mercy and strengthen us to extend this mercy to others.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen