Category: Motherhood

Letters whose topic focuses on Motherhood

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How Being Childless is Preparing Me for Motherhood

Dear sister,

There will always be something you’re waiting for. It could be something as inconsequential as being in line at the supermarket, or it could be bigger, like waiting for a check to post, or monumental like graduation, marriage, and motherhood. Whatever it is, that waiting time is there for a reason. But remember: it’s also just a season! (Yes, the rhyming helps me J) As I wait for the season of motherhood, I’m learning several lessons. Lessons that will carry me through other trying times in life. Can you relate?

Using truth to deal with emotions

You can ask my husband his opinion, but I’m thankful God has helped me grow in this area (even just a little?) I still have so far to go. Emotions always try to take the driver’s seat in my life. It takes an act of God some days to get my thoughts going in the right direction. Those sometimes helpful, but often pesky, emotions flood me with opportunities for temptation if I do not use them as indicators to my deeper heart issues. Stopping and evaluating what I’m feeling in the moment, asking for feedback (sometimes scary) and also taking it to the Lord, is so helpful to me. Then I must submit the feeling to the truth revealed in Scripture. Are anger, sorrow, loneliness, fear, etc. always ‘wrong’? Well, if indulged over trust in the Lord, yes, however, on many occasions God acknowledges and accepts our feeble emotions and then shows us how to deal with them. (Eph. 4:26, Psalm 34:4, John 14:1, 1 Peter 5:7) It is exciting to see God changing me as I surrender my thought life to Him! How often I have heard my girlfriends admit their feelings of being overwhelmed by the ups and downs of motherhood, and so I thank God that He is divinely helping me to learn how to better handle my emotions now.

Honoring and cherishing my husband

Two years ago, I made a promise to my husband before God and many witnesses that I would love, cherish, honor… that dear man with which I share four walls, many meals, memories, joys, sorrows… life. Let me tell you, it was much easier to speak the promise, than it’s been to daily keep the promise! We’re sinners. Should I be surprised? Taking the extra effort every day to make my hubby feel like a king in his home is hard, but it’s also my joy. I’ve learned his habits, his preferences, his weaknesses and strengths, and in many ways I can cater to what helps and brings him joy. Doing this with creativity is an extra challenge, but also quite fun! I can only imagine how caring for little ones saps the energy to be creative, rested, willing… to serve my man. So I’m taking the time now to make those things a habit. Dear sister, after your Jesus, your husband must always come before the kiddos!

Putting my ultimate hope in Christ for satisfaction

None of this will matter…. at all…. if you’re not finding your hope and joy in Christ first and foremost. I’ve had to learn this through trying times, when nothing else made sense. It is comforting, in a strange way, to know that everything could fall apart in my life (again) and I’d still be able to stand firm on the Solid Rock, knowing that my inheritance in Christ, in heaven, has not been shaken (1 Peter 1:4). Without this bedrock to our daily comings and goings, whether married, single, mothering or not, we are walking on shifting sand and ultimately all our good deeds will be burned up (1 Cor. 3: 11-15). Many days this goal to keep my eyes fixed on eternity seems like impossibility, but confessing my weakness, and crying out to God, I always find that He will fix my heart and soul on Him. What a gift my mother gave to me, as I watched her live life this way. Today and in the future, I hope to give that gift to as many little ones God brings my way, whether in my church, my home, or my classroom.

Remember—there’s a reason—but it’s only a season!

Ruth

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A Divine Calling

  • My Dearest Sister,

​I am very happy to share with you that this October, I will be initiated into one of the largest yet most exclusive of womanly clubs: Motherhood. As I sit here and look down at the little belly that I know will get much bigger over the next few months, I am excited, nervous and overwhelmed with joy all at the same time. While I cannot wait to meet our little one for the first time and experience all the wonderful “firsts” of motherhood, there are so many questions I have, so many concerns about whether or not I will be a good parent. I’ve struggled with my self-worth in other areas, so I am concerned about how it will play out in the arena of motherhood. What if I don’t feel like being a wife and mother is enough for me? Will I find great joy and satisfaction in raising this child or will I feel a longing for something else, a desperation for something “more”?

​Unfortunately in today’s world, there are many women who are looked down upon or even ridiculed for their choice to stay at home and raise their children instead of pursuing other interests, namely a career. Motherhood in the traditional sense has become this outdated, archaic ritual that women no longer should have to subject themselves to day in and day out. After all, why would any woman want to stay at home doing load after load of laundry, cleaning a house that always seems to be dirty, and chasing after a bunch of screaming, rambunctious children when instead they could find someone else to do those menial tasks while they go enjoy a job – and subsequently a life – of their own? Granted, some women have to work because of divorce or other financial needs; However, I think it is incredibly sad that there is a such a stigma on being  “just a housewife” that many women choose to give up those precious years with their kids to chase after their own self-fulfillment elsewhere. So why is it that when I fill out the employment section of any form and write the words “homemaker,” I cringe just a little bit on the inside? You see, this cultural standard of striving after success outside the home is so pervasive that women, even believers in the faith who know better, struggle with finding a purpose in their work as a full-time mother. I struggle with it and my child isn’t even born yet!

​Fortunately, we can avoid falling victim to this pattern of thinking by knowing that looking to society is not the place to find the right answers. Instead, let’s see what God has to say on the matter: In Titus 2:4-5, we find Paul’s instruction to the younger women in the church, that they are “to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands.” Sounds almost the opposite of what our 21st century culture teaches, doesn’t it? In these verses Paul is admonishing mothers to be a source of love for their families, diligent keepers of their home, and obedient to their husbands, all while being kind, virtuous, and wise in both word and deed. “Just a housewife,” indeed! I don’t know of any paying job that requires the level of personal effort Paul outlines here. Similarly, Proverbs 31:10-31 goes on and on about the qualifications of a virtuous wife and let me tell you, they are not easy in the least. But verse 28 of that chapter says that the children of such a woman “rise up and call her blessed” and that her husband “praises her” for her excellence among women. And most importantly, verse 30 says that this kind of wife and mother, is “a woman who fears the Lord” and that “she shall be praised.” Why then, should we care what society thinks about those of us who embrace motherhood as the purpose to which our Lord has called us? After all, if we are blessed by our children and husbands, and praised by God for doing so, there is no one else to which we should have to prove our self-worth.

​Finally, let’s examine the overall reason God calls mothers to live in such a selfless and righteous way. Yes, a family will benefit greatly from having such a wonderful wife and mother, but in Titus 2:5 Paul says that this list of lifestyle guidelines for women is all for a single purpose: “that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” So motherhood then, is not about how clean our home is, how delicious the dinner we made was, or even how well-behaved our kids are. In fact, it’s not about us at all; It is solely and completely about bringing glory to God. If a stranger can observe how you run your home, handle your children, and respond to your husband, and then say without hesitation “Wow, that is a God-fearing woman!” then you have done exactly as He has commanded. Everything else that comes with it is just icing on the cake.

​If that’s not enough to convince you that your job as a mother is truly a divine task, Psalm 139:13-16 is a great reminder of just how important our kids really are. These verses say that it is God Himself who forms our children in the womb, that they are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him; He knows them so intimately that He has written down all of their days, even before they began. And then these beautiful little beings that our heavenly Father has created are entrusted to us, so that we may nurture, love, and raise them in the knowledge of the Lord. I am overwhelmed with such gratitude and humility that God has given me (sinful, imperfect, faltering me!) the immense task of caring for His very own personal creation. This, my lovely sister, is precisely why motherhood is such a high calling. It is self-sacrifice, bathed in humility, all done to the glory and service of our Lord, and is one of the greatest privileges will ever have on this earth. So the next time you start to question the value of everything you’re doing as a mother, know that you are deeply important to God’s plan and are right where He wants you to be. Don’t let anyone – society, friends, family, or even yourself – try to convince you otherwise.

​Grace, mercy, and peace to you my sweet sister,
​~ Lauren Titcomb
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Spiritual Motherhood

Precious Sisters in the Lord,

Today is Mother’s Day, and as Christian women, regardless of our age, we are all privileged to celebrate motherhood in a different sense—spiritual motherhood. Indeed, even for those who have not yet had children, or may never bear children, spiritual motherhood is our privilege—and our calling.

Consider the specific command we are given by Paul in Titus 2: 3-5. Here it is:

3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

Notice the particular diction: to be reverent…teaching…encourage. As the Beloved of God, especially chosen by Him for His glory and delight, we can thankfully embark on our high and unique calling to be reverent, to teach and to encourage.

Allow me first to clear up something. When Paul refers to the “older women” this does not mean age, but maturity, particularly, maturity in our Christian faith. I am astounded, Sisters, at the profound, letters that you write, bringing it all home to my heart, allowing me to experience your concerns, your joys and even your pains, then applying Scriptural sensibility to life situations. You may be younger in years, Little Sisters, but you are richly blessed in Christian maturity through your knowledge of the Bible and special applications you continuously make. Good for you—and good for us!

Now, to be reverent should be the passion for every Christian. God is holy, holy, holy. (I keep mentioning that because it keeps humbling, humbling, humbling me.) How else could we stand before God except on our knees or on our face! Our behavior in everything, what we say, what we do, how we respond, should always give glory to God. (Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. Colossians 3: 17) What a wonderful way to participate in motherhood—to reflect our love for God at the supermarket, in our work, when we ask for help or address a problem, how we dress for church, where we go for recreation, what we do in service for God and community! The younger women, those ladies who are beginning to realize their need for God, or who are new in the faith, are watching with wide open eyes. I remember the first Christian church my husband and I attended, where I took mental notes on everything Christian women said or did, so that I would learn to act properly and pleasing to God. What a conviction came my way when the Holy Spirit made me aware that we are all sinners, and that our true and only model should be Jesus Christ! But these sweet ladies already knew that!

Also, in Titus 2, we are called to teach, as well. Some of you may already be teachers in Sunday school or homeschooling or Vacation Bible School. But even outside of these activities, God calls all of us to teach little ones the way that pleases Him. In Proverbs 22: 6, we are told: Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it. Spiritual Motherhood is exemplified when we pray for the unborn, the newborn, the tweens and the teens, when we are asked to give advice or counsel to college students or to an engaged couple. Our Motherhood Manual should always be the same—the Holy Bible. What joy it is to see a young person respond well to a situation for the good guidance or warning that we give—all to the glory of God!

Now remember, there is a third admonition for Spiritual Motherhood, and that is, to encourage. Here, we obey God by presenting the Truth of His word to a world that, without Christ as Savior, will perish eternally. When we are confronted by unbelievers and we respond by leading them to the Lord with a word kindly spoken, when we are called to the bedside of a sick person and we read the Scriptures or sing a spiritual song to them, when we visit grieving friends and we place our arms around them and say, “I am here for you”, all of these are only small ways that we can encourage. Women are already designed to be nurturing, comforting, understanding and giving. Now that is a great combination of God-given qualities to make us encouraging Mothers!

To my special Sisters who long to be married and have a family, who are married and are unable to start a family, or whose children are estranged from them, allow me to be your encouraging Mother. Trust in the grace of our Sovereign God Who knitted us in our mother’s womb. Believe that He Who is all-knowing and all-powerful will finish His work in you, for His glory—even if it is not as we would want. Be ready in all seasons to serve Him as teacher and encourager to women and children who need to draw close to Jesus Christ, our all in all.

And so, Dear Sisters, if you believe Mother’s Day is only for women flanked by little ones—or big ones who return to the nest—reflect on Titus 2, and celebrate a Happy Mother’s Day—every day!

Mimi

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Pray More and Lecture Less

Dear Sisters,

I have five children. I should be an expert on motherhood. I am not. The longer I parent, the more I am driven to my knees—not just in despair, but joy. Let me illustrate—the other day my 3 year old and I had this conversation in the bathroom:
Me: “Seth, please pick up the bath mat.”
Seth: “What is that?” (Pointing to the bath mat.)
Me: “A bath mat.”
Seth: “No, what is that?”
Me: “A bath mat.”
Seth: “No, what is that?”
Me: “An elephant.” (Makes trumpeting sound.)
Seth: “Ah, ok.”
Me: “!”

Don’t worry, this lovable, wonderful tow-headed toddler is the same one who will often hit his brothers with a toy car when he doesn’t get his way. We do not have a house full of lollipop children. We have a pre-teen over whom we bang our heads against the wall—and likewise thank God for blessing us with her, especially when she watches the rest of the kids so we can run away, err, take a break from time to time.

The kids probably think of me similarly: Mom cooks for me, does my laundry, and loves me—except when she is rampaging around the house about all the things I was supposed to get done, but forgot (or did, but the aforementioned cute toddler came behind me and undid everything).

No, I am not perfect. I love my kids. I want the very best for them. I yearn to see them choose to act with godly wisdom and to be filled with Christ’s love. I have to spend time on my knees for my kids—because I am not perfect (nor are they) and in our most wonderful moments, I know God is much more responsible and deserving of glory than I. Reading Philippians the other night, I came across a passage that reflects my heart for my children.

“For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:8-11.

Paul was, after all, a type of parent to these new churches and did have a parent-like vision for his people. It occurs to me that even Paul was not able to simply inspire people to become model Christians. He too, had to pray and ask God to develop Christ’s heart in his people. The message this mother received is, “Pray more, lecture less, and trumpet more about bath mats!”

Running with you,

Rebecca

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Letter to Mom

Hello, sister,

Another month has passed already and it is time for me to write to you again. The days pass just a little too quickly, don’t they? This month I get to write to you about motherhood. But first I have to disclose something to you: I’m not a mom.

Nope. I’m not a mom, and actually I’m single (very single, in fact). At first, I didn’t know how I was going to write this letter to you without having my MOM degree. Then I realized that I am actually getting a pretty sweet deal. I get to tell you all about my wonderful mother and what a strong example she’s set for me right before Mother’s Day. Even if I manage to forget to buy her flowers, she can’t be angry with me, right?

I love my mom. Not many daughters can call their mom their best friend, but I have the incredible privilege of being one of the few who can. She has diligently raised me up in the fear and admonition of the Lord, taught me about life, and is there for me when I fall, need a helping hand, or a shoulder to cry on. She is my safe zone. I can confide in her unreservedly. She knows my struggles, my fears, and even my silly and vain thoughts.

In all things—the good, the bad, and the hard—she lovingly understands, is honest and encouraging, and always points me back to Christ, guiding me to the path of godliness when I have forgotten the way. We laugh together, cry together, confide in each other, and support each other.

My mother is also a woman of great faith. She has stood firm through all these years of raising my brother and I, even through some pretty tough storms. She loves her husband faithfully, submitting to and respecting him and cares for her children tenderly and gracefully.

She is everything a mother should be and more. I cannot adequately describe her qualities of faith, love and grace and I am so thankful that the Lord has blessed me with her and I pray that when my time does come to be a mother that I will be just like her.

My mom and I do have a beautiful relationship now, but it wasn’t always like this. When I was younger, I kept to myself and refused to be vulnerable with my parents. But the Lord redeemed our relationship and taught me the importance of being vulnerable with my parents and letting them into my life.

So daughters, I encourage you to get to know your mom. Be vulnerable with her and give her the opportunity to shower you with her wisdom and love. Strive to be like her. And then when you have little ones of your own (or maybe you already do) you will be able to pass on the same faith and the same legacy that your mom passed on to you.

Remember Mom this week. She’s given you more than you will ever be able to repay.

In the love of the Savior,

Kayla