Category: Kindness

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The Law of Kindness

“She opens her mouth with wisdom; and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”
~Proverbs 31:26

Dear sister,

I like to think of myself as a generally kind person. I’m not rude or mean to people. I generally speak well of people in their presence and away from it. Yet when I read Proverbs 31:26 I am reminded of how often I fall short when it comes to being kind to others. I’m reminded of the many times I have tried to control my frustration with others and exhibit patience toward them and then not been able to contain it fully and end up making an exasperated remark in an unkind tone of voice that I now regret.

So maybe simply being a “nice” person isn’t exactly what King Lemuel is getting at here as he writes the thirty-first chapter of Proverbs. What is this ‘teaching of kindness’ that he speaks of, and what all does this entail?

In other versions the word ‘law’ is supplied in place of ‘teaching’. A law is something that we live by or abide by. Most of us when we get into our cars automatically reach for our seat belt because the law requires it of us and is therefore our duty to abide by it. Because we are obligated to fulfill the law we are in the habit of clicking our seat belts into place. In the same way, we, as women of God, are to live by the law or teaching of kindness and be in the habit of being kind, so much so that it is an automatic reflex.

Kindness is more than simply being nice to people. Kindness entails responding graciously to others even when they might not deserve it. In other versions we see ‘mercy’ and ‘faithful instruction’ is used instead of kindness so we can incorporate these meanings into the word as well. Kindness, according to Proverbs 31:26 is not just an attitude, it’s a way of life–‘the teaching of kindness is on her tongue’. We should be in the habit of being kind of others. A gracious response should be our first response no matter what the situation is.

Now, if you’re like me (and you are), then you’re a sinner and it takes more than just reading this verse and understanding what it means to be a kind and gracious person. We actually have to practice it. This means that we should take every opportunity to show kindness and that when we fail to respond graciously we should go to the person we have spoken harshly to, ask for forgiveness and tell them what we should have said.

Being kind to others is not always easy, but we are not alone in our pursuit to be courteous and gracious to others. Kindness is part of the fruit of the Spirit and if we have the Spirit in us, He is cultivating this virtue in our lives. We must depend fully on the enabling of the Spirit and on the strength of the Lord to grow in this virtue. Without the Spirit we will be hopelessly unable to be kind to anyone.

Grace and peace to you, dear sister,

Your sister,

Kayla

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The Ultimate Act of Kindness

Dear Sister,

The Ultimate Act of kindness;
As I penned the words in a letter that would never be delivered, my anger, bitterness, and un-forgiveness towards the offender was handed over to God. My sin had been dragging me down, like a huge boulder around my ankles, keeping me from the life of freedom and joy that was bought for me on the Cross. And though I didn’t see it at the time, I was participating in the greatest act of kindness ever done, the first true forgiveness begun at the Cross, and continued through my changed heart towards the one that had grieved me deeply.

In Ephesians, we find this command: Ephesians 4:32 (HCSB) 32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ. Here we see that there is a direct relationship between kindness and forgiveness. Think back to the last time you spoke an unkind word. What was the source of that unkind word, you might ask yourself? All too often, for me, it is bitterness that has grown within me, the result of a lack of forgiveness. Oh, how easy it is to collect past hurts, like trinkets in a curio cabinet, and allow them to collect dust within us. But our example is Christ, who put aside all things, to show us the ultimate act of kindness, his death on the Cross. We see this in Ephesians, as the verse begins with the topic of kindness, and ends with the example of the cross as the final summation of the idea, of the chapter.

All of our acts of kindness must flow out of that great and glorious example of grace shown us on the Cross. Without this as the motivation for our kindness, we will be giving in to a works-based mentality, relying on our own resources, and our limited supply of kindness, rather than on the unlimited treasures of God’s grace. In my mind, kindness then is the big and small acts of grace that we shower on those around us, because of the transformation we receive through Christ and His sacrifice.

Aristotle’s Rhetoric defines kindness as being “helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped.” (Wikipedia) What greater need did any of us have, but the salvation of our souls? And what act of kindness better exemplified an act not solely for ‘the helper himself, but for that of the person helped,’ than what Christ did for us on the Cross? I pray we would not lose the depth of this virtue, kindness, as simply one in a list of many others. No, it is the result of a transformed life, a life transfixed on the Gospel.

Be kind….just as God also forgave you in Christ.

Basking in His extravagant kindness….

Your sister,
Ruth

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Parfait Please, With a Cherry On Top!

My Dear Sister,

Kindness is a delightful virtue that smiles often, never frowns, is not self-absorbed and  is always received with gladness and, sometimes, with surprise.  As a distinct fruit of the spirit, following a list of virtues—love, joy, peace and patience, (Galatians 2:22) kindness is the cherry on top of the parfait!

Kindness is the ignition to selfless, altruistic performance:  help for the helpless, provision for the needy, encouragement for the distressed, gentleness to the sarcastic.  Random acts of kindness are never counted or measured.  People just do them, for family and for strangers, stretching beyond their daily routine or work, sometimes incurring a financial expense, sometimes resulting in back pain and, yet, they expect nothing in return.  One does not even think about a simple kindness extended.  Small acts of kindness are as meaningful as any.  The loveliest aspect of kindness is that it is received and extended without expectation either way.  We all experience that feel good feeling from kindness, but we must never forget that kindness of every degree flows from the one source of true love—God!  Have you received kindness this week?  Have you extended kindness today sister?

You and I could always use an example to help us understand. God gives us a beautiful model of kindness in His word.  Consider the kindness of the Proverbs 31 Woman.  She exudes the virtue, doing her daily chores selflessly and joyously.  She rises early and retires late so that her day is long enough for her to pour out as many acts of kindness as possible: she works with her hand in delight (v. 13); she extends her hand to the poor, and stretches out her hands to the needy (v. 20); she opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue (v. 26).   Ah, that is it—she teaches kindness by her talk and her walk!

Dear sister would that my talk and walk were as drenched in kindness as hers!  Oh, I rise early and go to sleep late, but do I extend kindness in that time?  Am I wasting precious kindness opportunities by treating others as if they owe me something?  Do I create my agenda with a continuum of give me, get me, or do for me?

Recently, a man was featured on television for his commitment to one act of kindness daily; Just one act.  He was being admired and praised across the nation.  Imagine that—just one act of kindness!  Just ONE act of kindness, really?

As a Child of God, saved by His mercy and grace, it is my duty and privilege to live my life to His glory!  That means that my every moment should be one of obedience, selflessness, and praise to Him in everything that I do. There are so many ways to please God through kindness today, kindness done only in His presence. I can write a Get Well card.  I can sing a hymn while doing an unpleasant, neglected chore.  I can respond gently to a harsh word.  I can bless a homebound person with a phone call.  I can pray.

Oh, how I want to be a constant flowing fountain of kindness!  But I am not.  This is where I fall short of the glory of God.  Dear sister, please pray for me, that my daily tasks are not accompanied by resentment, that my contributions to the poor and needy are done without fanfare, and that what I say is never abrupt or hurtful.  Pray that the seed of kindness that was planted in me by God’s grace would begin to grow and blossom. I want to extend as much kindness as the Lord will permit—to my husband, to my family, to my friends, even to those who dislike me.

Proverbs 31 ends with praise for the woman who fears the Lord.  May this holy fear be ours today with praise to God in every kindness that pours from our being.

Kindness is such sweet fruit.  Like the cherry on a parfait!

With Love in our Kind Jesus,

Mimi

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Wake Up!!

My Dearest Sister,

​My original plan in writing this letter to you was to encourage you in the many ways in which we, as daughters of the Most High King, can show kindness to others. However, as I was seeking out the Scriptures, inquiring about the importance of being kind to our fellow man, God began pointing me in a different direction. Almost all of the verses I came across were in reference to God’s kindness toward us, not our kindness toward others. It was then that I realized I had been looking in the wrong place. How can we even begin to understand how to be kind to others if we don’t first look at the One who has shown the most kindness of all?

​For starters, we need to understand that the Lord’s kindness is eternal. Although some of us are better at being kind than others, everyone has those times when our abilities fail us. We fight it, but the flesh wins, and we end up saying or doing something we shouldn’t – something that certainly isn’t the kindness we want people to see. But you know what’s neat? That whole process never happens to God. In Isaiah 54:10, the Lord says “For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but My kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace be removed.” Our whole world can turn upside down, and yet His kindness toward His children will remain constant, never to be taken away.

​Secondly, even in His anger the Lord does not remove His bountiful mercies from our reach: “With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment; But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you” (Isaiah 54:8). I don’t know about you, but I can’t even count how many times I have been harsh or even spitefully mean to someone because I was angry with them. In all honesty, it feels good to lash out at someone when we’re mad – at first; then we feel angry and guilty. When the Lord is angry He may hide His face from us for a while, but it’s for our own good, not His personal satisfaction (Trust me, you would be worse off if He openly showed His anger to you). In the end, His kindness prevails.

​Thirdly, in Luke Chapter 6, we see that God’s kindness is not conditional. Thank goodness, otherwise we would fall miserably short of receiving any. In verse 35, Jesus calls His followers to love their enemies, to do good, and lend selflessly, just as God “is kind to the unthankful and evil.” Kind to the unthankful and evil? I have a hard enough time being nice to the jerk who cuts me off in traffic or to the fast-food employee who is rude to me as I pay for my lunch. You know, it’s funny how often our kindness towards one another is directly related to how much we get in return. After all, it’s easy to do good to those who do good to us; Even sinners do that (v.33). The real challenge however, is when we are called to be kind to someone who doesn’t give you that warm, fuzzy feeling inside, but rather that stone-cold, slimy one. Not an easy task when you think about it. Often times our first instinct is to turn our backs on those kinds of people and not have to put up with them. Thank goodness God doesn’t treat us that way!

​The last and perhaps most significant word on kindness I found was in 2 Peter 1:5-8 where Christians are instructed on what fruitful growth in the Faith looks like. Peter says “But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” I don’t know about you, but I was amazed as I read this. I had never before thought of kindness as the link to love, but its true. We can have all these other things (faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, and godliness) but if we do not have a brotherly kindness, we miss the boat completely in showing love, which the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:13 deems our greatest calling in this life.

​Surely, how can we expect others to see the love of Christ working through us if we don’t even care enough to be kind when its not convenient or beneficial to ourselves? When we don’t even give a second thought to showing kindness to that homeless man on the park bench or that elderly woman living out her last lonely years in a group home? We can’t even start at the most basic level and then we are challenged with being kind to even the unthankful and evil among us? To the people who make us angry and don’t deserve our compassion or sympathy? Houston, we have a problem! And yet even in the midst of all of our selfishness and shortcomings, God showers His eternal kindness upon us. How amazing is that?

​So you see, my sister, we have to first look at how great God’s kindness is toward us before we can even begin to understand the full meaning of the word. According to Him, kindness means showing mercy to our enemies, reaching out to the unreachable, and giving freely to the undeserving; It means putting away our own anger and selfish desires, and treating everyone as we would a brother or sister. Showing true ‘brotherly kindness’ requires letting the Holy Spirit work through us and also having an awareness for opportunities to show it. I don’t know about you, but I am tired of passing people on the street every day and not taking the time to show them a little genuine concern because it’s just not convenient or important to me. If God’s kindness toward us is so great, how can we stand to not share it? It’s time to stop sleepwalking our way through life and start seeing others the way God sees them: as people in need of His great and eternal loving-kindness. It’s time, sister, to wake up!

​Your Sister in Christ,
​~ Lauren

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A Clean Slate Everyday

My Dear Sister,

I want to thank you for the kindness which you showed me recently. Your tender words and compassionate listening watered my heart like an afternoon rain shower does a dry thirsty garden. For this I am grateful.

However, it was the reflection of our Lord that brought joy to my heart. Even though His reflection brought light to my sin. It’s exposure led to my confession, forgiveness and repentance thus drawing me nearer to Him.

Your kindness has reminded me of a verse that no matter how many times I read it causes my heart to melt at it’s Truth!!!

“This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is your faithfulness. ‘The LORD is my portion’, says my soul, ‘Therefore I hope in Him!'”
~Lamentations3:21-2

The Lord shows me His kindness every morning by reminding me that my slate is clean each day!
I pray that His kindness towards you blesses your heart as it does mine.

Grace and peace to you,
Your sister Susan