Category: Humility

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Pride and The Torture Rack

Dear Sister,

I am a woman of strength and confidence. My parents did an amazing job raising my sister and me. They prepared and encouraged us. They praised our successes. One success led to another and another. They were a strong foundation for my life and adulthood. My confidence in who I was as their child, a woman, and a child of God was great. However, I have heard it said (Love & Respect marriage seminar) that “every strength has a back sided weakness”. Thinking through the devil’s tactics and knowing he likes to tailor his attacks to each individual (particularly by honing in on their weaknesses), I wondered what the weakness of this wonderful strength was.

I almost choked when I realized what it was.

Pride.

Just about every conflict I have found myself deeply wounded by was because someone pointed out an area that I thought I had handled, covered, or was competent in—and they felt otherwise. I’m not saying they were always right, but as soon as I heard something other than a positive, I got (get) defensive and hurt. The funny thing is I don’t tend to question whether I am still a strong woman, capable and able to get things done; but I mope around and tend to be consumed by the criticism for a time (often a loooong time).   If true, I should allow the criticism to shape me into a better individual; if untrue, I should toss it out. I have done neither. Instead I have allowed the devil and my own prideful heart to condemn me to a torture rack that I am on, but not tied to.

Yes, you read that right. Christ freed me at the cross yet I am the foolishly jump up on to that torture device and allow the devil to gleefully turn the screw. And he will, until you and I realize the game he’s playing and GET OFF!

I am jumping off and running away with this in mind and in action:

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interest, but also for the interest of others. Have this attitude in yourselves, which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Phil. 2:3-8

If that doesn’t keep my pride (and the devil) at bay, I am confident I can find another verse (or more) to attack my pride. Dear sister, please join me and run out of Satan’s torture chamber. He can’t hold us there unless we choose to stay. Christ saved us from more than just Hell. He saved us for an abundant life!

Running with you,

Rebecca

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Grace To The Humble

Dear sister,

Things haven’t changed much since the garden of Eden, have they? Adam and Eve’s desire to have what they deemed the “best” fruit in the garden led to a heredity of sin that can be seen in every person and child. They trusted in their own desires and feelings rather than trusting that what the Lord told them was true and better than that fruit. Instead of humbling themselves and trusting the Lord, they proudly and boldly ate the forbidden fruit.

Man, it is so hard to humble ourselves, isn’t it? We want to be proud parents, proud wives, known for something, anything! We don’t want to be told what to do…or is this just me? I’m really not one to boast vocally, but internally, my heart yearns for recognition from this world. I don’t want to be just a wife of so and so, mother of ______, or from this family. I want to stand out, be accomplished with my hands, skills, sports, or brain. I want to be known for my whit, humor, or craftiness. I can’t be alone…I’ve seen all the proud stickers on cars proclaiming honor rolls and personal advertisements.

Peter scripts in 1 Pet 5:6, that “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble”. When we, like Adam and Eve, desire our fame more than God’s, He opposes us. But when we instead, proclaim His fame over our own, we get grace! But how do I humble myself? Think about how we feel pride…we contrast something against our own standard and when we beat the standard, we feel proud! If the whole class gets a C and I get a C+, I am proud of that C+! If I compare my looks or skills with someone I think isn’t as good as me, I feel proud! So…why not compare myself with God for a good dose of humility?

He spoke. The universe was thrown into existence. He spoke and nature bloomed. He breathed life into the dirt and man stepped forth. He formed you in your mother’s womb. He made each cell move exactly where it was supposed to go. He created the nerve firings in your brain to command your every breath and heart beat. He gave skill to doctors, ideas to men and women to create art and science. He gave you a conscience. He holds the world in His hands! He made a way to fix the sin problem that Adam, Eve, and all of us have by sending Himself into the world to die for our sins! Then…He rose again, conquering death and defeating its fate for all those who put their trust in Jesus. Ummmmm…I can’t do any of that.

Humility is not self-condemnation or defamation; rather it is acknowledging everything we have comes from the Lord. It’s realizing that God deserves our praise, not us. We praise God and give thanks for our every breath, for our skills, whit, and humor He gave us. We praise God for the gifts and people in our lives. We praise and give thanks to God for our families, for the gifts and talents He has given our children and spouses. When we put the Lord in His rightful position, the result is humility in our hearts. But it’s a humility that brings joy, not shame. It brings the grace of the Lord, not His opposition. Wow! I want that! Don’t you?

Grace to you, sister,

Colleen

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A Jar Filled with Glory

Dear Sister,

Humility.  Tough subject.  I am not very humble.

Ooo, that was pretty humble of me!

Blast!  Yeah, I have lots of work to do….

I definitely have this see-saw approach with pride and humility. “And all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.” (I Peter 5:5b).  I want so much to be His poster child, yet that very desire seems to be diabolically opposite to His qualifications for the job.

A brief search in the dictionary in the back of my Bible noted that humility is “self-abasement” and pride is “exaggerated self-esteem.”  In Philippians 2:3-4, Paul writes, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”  From the definitions and these verses, I discover humility not to be a life of unreserved self-denial—Paul does not say to abandon your personal interests—but a life that thinks (and acts) to love others ahead of self.

While I was growing up, one of my pastors said he tried to sacrifice something every day, just to keep himself in the habit of sacrifice—to remind himself this earth is not home, just a stopping place.  Perhaps humility is much the same:  hoping your heart will suddenly foster thoughts and actions of humility is putting the cart before the horse.  However, deliberately choosing to give someone else the largest piece of pie, the space to merge in front of you in traffic, the help in cleaning their mess—all while not looking for thanks or recognition—knowing that our Father sees and will reward us ultimately in front of all, but also immediately with a softening of the heart, is a beginning of the habit of humility.  Maybe being that poster child is ok—the attitude is the deciding factor.  If I want to be the model of humility so that others praise me, I have failed.  If I desire to be the vessel God uses so He gets the glory, then all the world will see is a transparent jar with the light of Jesus shining through and humility will be her name.

Running with you,

Rebecca

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The Perfect Holiday Wardrobe; Humility and Thankfulness

Dear sisters,

Several years ago as a new college graduate, I began to realize that I enjoyed nice clothing and that I had easy access to a fabulous outlet mall! Hmm…where do you think this story is going? Growing up in a large family with several sisters and female cousins, I was quite accustomed to second-hand clothing, so having new clothes for every season was not a regular occurrence for me. Most of my extra cash during college went towards books (science books are not especially affordable), but now I found myself with a new budgeting (read: heart) dilemma. I had yet to discover thrift-shopping and clearance racks, or the beauty of holiness.

One morning, I stumbled upon this passage in Colossians 3: 12-15: “Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. Above all, put on love — the perfect bond of unity. And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts. Be thankful.” I knew this was God speaking directly to me, and I quickly posted these verses in my closet as a reminder to put on these lovely qualities daily, hoping to find more joy in these virtues than in donning a new outfit. We see this reminder in 1 Peter 3 as well, and in Proverbs 11:22. Notice that these verses do not reject the cultivation of physical beauty, but rather emphasize spiritual beauty more so than physical.

As we move into the holiday season, it is easy to become distracted with appearances, whether it is finding that cute party dress, the perfectly wrapped gift, or a family photo that will impress. Do you find yourself struggling to be grateful in this season? I know I do. Someone else will always have more or look better. The very time of year when we are ‘supposed’ to be overflowing with the compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience in the passage above, many of us find it extremely difficult to do so. You are not alone in this sister! The crowds at the mall, grocery store, and post office don’t help us a bit, and it seems impossible to get everything done, while also getting reasonable sleep, nutrition, and exercise. There is absolutely no white space on the calendar, and cultivating a quiet heart? Forget it, you might be saying! But our gracious and compassionate Jesus comes quietly, with the answer. Are you listening?

Jesus comes to us this Thanksgiving as he always has, in perfect humility. In Philippians 2, we are reminded of the example of Christ as he laid down his life for us in every possible way. The Gospel is again the answer, and not just at the Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve services. The Gospel is the answer when you are stressed and running late in the grocery line, when most of your Christmas cards were returned with wrong addresses, when your child forgets their lines in the play, when the cookies burn. When we humble ourselves and embrace our great need for a Savior in these small, daily moments; when we accept His lavish grace in our imperfections, we find ourselves robed in His exquisite righteousness. Talk about a makeover, ladies! Who needs a reality show when this grace can be your daily reality? That’s what I want. Take special note of the reminder in verse 12… our motivation to put on holiness is found in the knowledge of God’s love for us! Pretty powerful, I think! No guilt trips or legalism here.

Join me in putting off the vices listed earlier in Colossians 3, and seeking the face of God for grace to put on humility, thankfulness, compassion, gentleness, patience, kindness, love, forgiveness, and the peace of the Messiah this holiday season. We’re not going to do this perfectly, but the first step is always repentance, followed by grace that empowers us for holy living. Might I encourage you to post these verses in your closet, by your bursting calendar, or next to your bathroom mirror? Let’s all take a deep breath; let go of the unreasonable expectations we have during the holidays, and find grace to truly embrace these gifts. Sister, you are already looking gorgeous!

Glowing in Grace,

Ruth