Category: Grief

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Jesus Wept ~ John 11:35

Do Christians grieve?

Yes, Dear One, Christians grieve.  Oh, I see what you are asking.  Why, then, so little sobbing and so much joy at a Christian funeral?

One would naturally come to that conclusion when a congregation smiles as a fellow member is said to have gone home to be with the Lord.

Christian memorial services and funerals are truly joyous events, for all believers are unified around the throne of God- some in spirit, some still in the body, and we know that we shall all see each other again.

 

 

23Nevertheless I am still with you, You hold me by my right hand.
24 You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward receive me to glory.

Psalm 73:23-24

However, Christians do not lose their normal emotions when they are born again and, while here on earth, Christians do still feel the pangs of pain and death, hurt and loss, misery and depression, sadness and inner turmoil, just as anyone else.  The human condition is not eradicated when we are given the faith to believe that God has chosen us, has forgiven us, and has destined us to be His forever. In the face of earthly affliction and misery, we just know that there is something so much better awaiting us—in Heaven with Him eternally!

27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.

28 And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish;

neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.

John 10:27-28

The Believer trusts that God is sovereign. God controls all things—the course of the stars and planets, the fur growth on little rabbits, the ups and downs of the stock market, and each beat of the heart of every person in the world.  His omniscience and omnipotence, His eternity and infinity, His power and might are astoundingly constant.  God never changes and He remains the Creator and the Sustainer of life.  When a person worships this magnificent God, even the losses and hits in life are bearable, pointing us to His greater purpose.

28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God,

to those who are the called according to His purpose.

 

 (Romans 8:28)

Why should we not grieve when the Bible tells us that Jesus wept when His friend, Lazarus, died?  We know this from the shortest verse in the Bible, Jesus wept.  (John 11:35) This may be the shortest verse in the entire bible, but it makes powerful impact on us.

To begin with, Dear One, Jesus grieved the death of His friend because Jesus was fully human, as well as fully God.   He was overwhelmed to sobs with compassion. He felt the weight of the sorrow of Martha and Mary, the sisters of Lazarus.

Jesus knew that He would bring Lazarus back to life again—in order to glorify God.  He also knew that He, Himself, would experience death, as any man, and, on the third day, rise from the dead. But, unlike Lazarus who would experience death again, Jesus would be risen from His earthly tomb, be seen by hundreds, ascend with His glorified body, and sit at the right hand of His Father in heaven, and return again to judge the living and the dead, as our Creed says.

Which brings me to a second aspect of the verse, Jesus wept.  Jesus cries because man is sinful and all creation pays the price of sin.  Everything about us:  our health, our house, our family, our marriage, our work, our daily routines and everything we forget and take for granted—are under attack, because of the Fall of Man.  We grieve at illness.  We grieve at job loss. We grieve at divorce. We grieve at calamity.  We grieve even when a pet dies.

 

Believe me, when I read the prayer requests from my home church I am stunned at all the hardship and troubles that surround our beloved congregation!  I grieve alongside each one of my Brothers and Sisters making their unique prayer requests known.  Just imagine all the suffering of the world!

 

This is what Jesus is also grieving, and we, Believers, grieve the same, crying out to God, How long, Lord, how long?

One last thought on the grief of Jesus as He wept.

Jesus grieved the lost, the perishing, those who would remain under the wrath of God because of their unbelief.  No matter what Jesus told His own people about Himself as the Messiah, no matter how many times He spoke with authority in the temple, no matter how many miracles He performed, and how many people He restored to life from death—the people refused to believe that Jesus is the Son of God come into the world as Savior and Redeemer.

The people were lamenting the death of Lazarus and figured that this was the end for him.  They had forgotten about the Resurrection of the Body and, yes, Lazarus would rise again to live forever.

So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.”

I Corinthians 15: 54

Oh, Dear Sister, Christians do grieve, especially for the unbeliever.

Is your heart burdened for someone who refuses to know Jesus Christ?  Mine is.  Pray with me, pray hard, and then, pray some more.  We are to pray unceasingly for that person, storm the very gates of Heaven with our prayers, and then rest on the God’s glorious grace on us and His perfect and sovereign will.

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.  Lamentations 3:25-26

Christian grief is a real emotion that keeps our heart pounding in rhythm with the heart of Christ.  Do not be afraid of your grief.  If Jesus wept, so should we.  Depend on His trustworthy word:  Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.  Matthew 5:4

By Grace and Faith alone,

Mimi

 

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Testimony of a Broken Heart

 

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”  ~ Psalm 147:3

Dearest sister,

Though grief may come to us in many different ways, the two most common ways are death and heartbreak. Heartbreak doesn’t have to come from breaking up with your boyfriend or the end of a marriage. Heartbreak can come from the loss of a friendship, the behavior of our friends and loved ones, and even the acknowledgement of our own personal sins. No matter how it comes, dear sister, having our hearts broken is a difficult and painful experience.

Some time ago I was struggling with the loss of a friendship.  Actually it was the loss of a “season of friendship” that was very dear to my heart and that I cherished deeply. Circumstances demanded a change in the way I viewed our relationship but I wasn’t ready to accept this new season of friendship where I played a lesser role in my friend’s life. After confiding in my mom one night she told me, “Kayla, you need to grieve this loss.”  I hadn’t realized that I was need of grieving but I did know that my heart was broken. I even felt betrayed, unloved, and abandoned. Did my friend consciously inflict these feelings? Was it my friend’s fault that I was feeling this way; No, of course not.  But in my selfishness I had grown bitter and angry. So I heeded my mother’s words and I grieved the “loss” I was feeling.

Once I let the grieving process begin, the Lord began to change my heart and started to heal the brokenness within me. Oh the sweetness of our faithful Savior. Oh the richness His healing brings. With time I was able to accept this different kind of friendship and once again enjoy the company of my beloved friend.

The lesson to be learned here, dear sister, is that if we do not allow ourselves to feel our hurt and to grieve the loss we are feeling whether it be from a broken friendship, the death of a loved one or any other cause, we have the potential to grow bitter towards God and/or others. Dear sister, you do not want your life to be defined by bitterness or anger! I want to encourage you to lift up your cares to the Lord, tell Him of your grief because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). And remember our Lord was called a man of sorrows and described as being acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3). He understands your hurt; He knows your grief. So grieve, dear one. Cry your heart out, for afterward comes healing and a peace that passes all understanding.

 

Your sister,

Kayla

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The Dragon’s Final Fatal Spasms

Dear sister,

~I had gotten the email Sunday morning Thailand time.  It shocked me to the core.  While living in Virginia I worked with an amazing Young Life staff who taught me how to meet teens where they were at.  There was one couple in particular who just exuded a love for Christ and each other that I had yet to see elsewhere. They were magnets to teens seeking joy and peace in the throws of high school chaos and awkwardness.  The husband came home from work that day to have lunch with his wife and brand new baby girl.  He just loved his family and wanted to spend some extra precious minutes with them. On the way back to work the authorities believe the sun blinded him and he ran off the road and was killed.  My heart broke for his wife, precious girl, and all those who knew him.  But the real tears came as I helped lead worship at church that morning with the song “God is so Good”.  At that moment, I did not believe those words and I left in tears.

~I woke up from the anesthesia hearing my name being called.  A few seconds later tears filled my eyes as I realized the beloved twins that once were alive inside me, were now gone.  I still feel the ache and tears now fill my eyes as I type.

How as Christians do we grieve to the glory of God?  Do we plaster a grin and say we are “fine”?  Do we fake it till we make it?  Is that what this Christian life is about?  Only good things should happen to believers, never sad, confusing or hurtful times?  Oh sweet sister, the Bible is full of grieving people…even the Lord Jesus himself grieved…even God the Father grieved at the death of his Son!  Yes, there is a way to grieve to the glory of God that does not minimize our hurt and pain.

We first need to realize that death was not in the original Garden of Eden.  Sin was not there.  So when we grieve death, we do so rightly.  Death is the result of sin that came from Adam’s disobedience to God which carries with it the curse of death to all who followed in life.  It reminds us that this world is broken.  Yet it is also a reminder that Christ came to CONQUER death!  Death has been and will be defeated.  It was slain at the cross and we wait for Christ to come again and stop the dragon’s final fatal spasms.

So as Christians, death hits us hard as we know that it is a result of a sin laden earth.  We grieve because of the destruction it brings.  So let the tears and groans come.  Know the Father grieves too.  But do not grieve without hope.

  • Be honest with what you are feeling:
    • The psalms are full of examples; let them guide you (Ps 13, 22, 38, 42, 55, 59, 61, and 88).  Bring your grief to the Lord, he above all understands what it means to grieve.
  • Seek Godly comfort:
    • It will be easy to run to the TV, food, exercise, memories, music, work, or other people but they will not give you lasting comfort.  Jesus Christ is our lasting comfort as He is the one who conquered death by dying and rising again!  Run to Him above all else.  Yes, you can use the others as tools, but not your respite.  Christ is your ultimate comfort (2 Cor. 1:3-4).
  • Resist Temptations:
    • You will be vulnerable when you are in grief.  Resist the temptation to doubt God’s goodness, mercy, grace, and love.  You may not feel like He is those things but remember He never changes.  Be careful not to be angry with God, envy others who have not felt your grief, or fall into self-pity.  Serve others.
  • Use Your Resources:
    • This is when we really need to lean into our church family for support.  We need them to help us remember the Truth and not believe the lies.  Read the Word.  Read the Word.  Read the Word.  Even if you don’t feel like it.
  • Remember your Blessings:
    • The Lord does promise good out of all things.  Actively look for them

I had never understood the pain of a miscarriage until I had one.  Since that day, my heart aches for each couple who experiences this loss.  I can grieve with them, cry with them, hurt with them, and offer them hope as one who understands what they are going through.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says that there is “a time for everything”, even a time to mourn, lose, die, and break down…but it also says there is a time to laugh, build up, and live. “There is a season for everything under the sun”.  Yes grieve, but don’t stay there, let the Lord use you to then comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3).   Grief is real, but so is the comfort of Christ.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen