Category: Forgiveness

Letters whose topic focuses on Forgiveness

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Foxes, Forgiveness, Freedom, and Romans 7-8

“O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God—-through Jesus Christ our Lord!…There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus…”

And yet, I’ve been thinking a lot about sin lately. Partly because it’s the New Year and I tend to take deep stock of my life at the end of each 365-day turn of the calendar. How has God worked? Where is warfare necessary to clean up spiritual clutter and debris and re-establish a peaceful, clean, and glad soul? And partly because I have so much of it, sin, that is, and I hate it, though not as much as I want to. I tend to loathe it more in others than I do in myself. I can pinpoint it so easily in my husband and in my children, but when introspecting, I sometimes hurry through and make concessions and justifications and rationalizations for things God definitely abhors. Not the gray. Not the doubtful. The black versus the white. How many times have I asked the Lord to cleanse me, but did not follow with the hard work required for mortification of my flesh? Shallow and quick repentance is fairly easy, but it doesn’t get to the fundamentals of my heart—that it is deceitful and desperately wicked, often bearing false witness to me about my motives—making me proud with self-righteousness. So much so that God says, “Who can know it?” Certainly not I, the one who is sometimes able to be a master of hiding, deceit, refusing to be laid bare before the mirror of God’s Word. I get so weary of it, the doing, the glossing over, the confession, then the replay a few days or even hours later. I can blame it on no one else. It is I—I who chooses to sin instead of submitting to the control of the Spirit. Who will deliver me?

Which all brings me to Romans 8. And to Romans 7 before it. Chapter 7 tells me I’m double-minded about my sin. I have a love-hate relationship with some of my failings. And it tells me that Jesus is the only one who can free me from its mastery. It’s not in my will-power to do this. I’m grandly comforted because, believe me, I’ve tried on my own.

Then comes Romans 8. The pinnacle. It relieves my lingering fears, my doubts, my lack of assurance of being His. It gives me confident hope. It lifts my head, with Paul, to lofty praise for my Savior who frees me, not just from sin’s master/slave relationship but from ever being condemned for it. Because of what He did for me in His perfect life and substitutionary death, He and I now share life, He in me, me in Him. Praise to my Father in heaven who loved me so much He sent His Son to condemn my sin in His own flesh, not in mine. Praise to the blessed Holy Spirit who powerfully enables me to set my mind on Himself and holy things, giving me life and peace and the promise of being raised on the last day. I am no longer in slavery to the sin which deceitfully creeps in as I make, what appears to me in the moment, inconsequential wrong choices here and there. And sometimes the sin seems to charge in, as if unbidden, unannounced, with full fury. But sin is no longer my master, I’m told. I do not need to sin. The Spirit gives power to put to death these sins of the flesh. I need no longer be in dread of my Father. I need not hide nor dress myself in scant fig leaves.

I have been adopted into His family, my heart crying out to my benevolent Father, “Papa!” It is that intimate…that sweet. And when I fail again and again I am told that the Spirit helps me in my weakness, in my sometimes soul agony. Even when my lips fail me with words, I am told He intercedes for me with groanings too deep to utter.

The thing about true love is that it will not endure rivals. Sin is the enemy to true love on both sides. First, God, who loves and is jealous for His own children whom He has chosen, will not allow us to continue in iniquity because it displaces Him in our lives. He who is utterly sinless must reign supreme. Second, we ourselves will not keep allowing sin as the direction, the practice of our lives because that would signify we do not belong to the Savior. It is antithetical to whom we are. “For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law, indeed it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to Him.” Praise God for the tension in me when sin rears its ugly head for it is a proof of my sonship. The Spirit in me creates that agitation, grants godly sorrow and repentance, cleanses and preserves me for the Father and the Son. (Study 1 John for more on this.)

Half the time I do not know “the why” of the Lord allowing these struggles of my heart, but I’m promised that no matter what His design, what the particular lesson to be learned, even in my sin, He is the Always Good, it is for my good, making me more like Jesus than the last struggle effected. Why? He chose me to be His daughter in eternity, He called me to Himself in time and space, He made me right with Himself, and He will make me fully pure and perfectly holy when transitory earthly life ends and I am ushered into His presence. He is readying me for eternity with Him, cleansing me, changing me, making me more and more into the image of His Son.

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” He won’t bring any charge against us. He won’t condemn us for our sin. After all, “Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Nothing, nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, not things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Not even our sin, if we are His. God has set us free because He was satisfied with His dear Son’s life and death in our place. He took our sin and God’s wrath. In exchange, we wear His white robes of righteousness.

I still get frustrated. I still confess my sins. I weary of my weakness and imperfect love for my Savior, depleting me of the joy of my secure fellowship with Him—and so I ask Him to give me strength and conviction and discernment to notice the “little foxes” creeping into my heart which, if left unchecked, will eat me up. I repent more quickly and deeply. I take steps to avoid the pitfalls which lunge me into my favorite sins. I work hard to stop sinning, knowing that it is God who is working in me to even want to stop falling short of His glory, of grieving Him, and giving me the power to change lest I think transformation is from me. (Philippians 2:12-13) I pray for Him to overwhelm me with His love and patience and preserving power on my behalf, assured that nothing will separate me from His love. And because He will never condemn me due to my status in His Son, I desire to not sin. I want to please Him and put Him on display in my life as an evidence of gratitude and love.

We are “more than conquerors”, says Paul, when we are born again. More than? “Super conquerors”, says one pastor. He gives power through Christ to overcome our sin, our distresses, outward onslaughts, inward stresses and temptations, and keeps us for Himself, never, ever to be lost.

Tell someone what great things He has done for you.

Soli Deo Gloria

Love,

Cherry

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me bless His holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits—Who forgives all your iniquities…Who redeems your life from destruction, and crowns you with loving kindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies you with good so your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” (Psalm 103:1-5)

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The Flip Side of Forgiveness

Dear sister,

It’s hard for me to let go of things.

Maybe it’s a personality thing, but some people seem to get over things quicker than I can. Like a fairy that can only hold one emotion at a time, one moment they are upset and the next thing you know they have moved on. I’m more like a pit bull. Once I bite down on a feeling, it’s hard for me to let go of my death clench, especially when someone has wronged me. I like to think it’s my strong sense of justice but really I just struggle with bitterness.

Clichés like “let go and let God” and “forgive and forget” are not helpful. I want to trust God and forgive others as I’ve been forgiven, but forgiveness has not always come easy for me, especially when those close to me hurt me. I want to forget, but does that mean I pretend like it never happened? Where is the justice in that?

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:12-13).

I know I should put to death my sin of unforgiveness. The fact that I am forgiven should be the best motivator, but I still struggle to forgive. It’s just hard to let go.

If forgiveness is freeing, the flip side to forgiveness is bitterness, which only leads to spiritual torment.

When the disciples asked Jesus how many times they were to forgive someone, his answer was 77 times (Matt. 18:22). Was Jesus giving us the exact number we should forgive someone? Seven is symbolic for perfection, but I think the point here is that forgiveness is continual. It’s not as easy as “forgive and forget”. So why should we forgive? Because God commands it, and forgiveness is actually in our favor.

According to the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, if we do not forgive from the heart the result seems to be spiritual torture (Matt. 18:35). Yes, we are to forgive as we have been forgiven, but not because the other person deserves it. If we don’t forgive, bitterness will eat away at our souls. Sin on top of sin does not solve the problem.

Bitterness is spiritually deteriorating, but true love overcomes fear.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love” (1 John 4:18).

When others hurt us, we don’t have to fear the pain, but we do have to forgive. And there is hope. God forgives our sins, but he is also just and sees your pain. Vengeance belongs to God and He will repay evil for evil (Rom. 12:19). Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting, but we are not to add to evil with our bitterness. So strive to forgive daily and trust God with the rest.

In Christ,

Karlie

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Forgiven, Chiseled and Secure

Dearest Sister,

Do you ever struggle with a particular sin…over and over again…no seeming victory? Perhaps it’s an obsession or an unhealthy habit. Maybe it’s your tongue gossiping or showing disrespect…Or laziness, or being desensitized to unwholesome shows, or self-righteousness, or materialism, or prayerlessness, or pride…So much to repent of…Unrelenting disquiet in the soul…Embarrassment to come before the Father once more…Do I really belong to the Father?  How can I be that new creation, yet still sin so much? Like The Pilgrim in Bunyan’s  classic we come to Christ initially with that huge burden strapped to our backs, only to find it rolling down Calvary’s hill when the Spirit opens our spiritual eyes to understand and embrace the gospel, but it would appear we sometimes become uncomfortable without that familiar burden and we start rebuilding that unnecessary heaviness that Jesus has already and perpetually removed from us positionally. Yet, we encumber ourselves with wrong thinking, unhealthy and sinful behaviors. We live in defeat and fear, depression and anxiety. We sin those same sins over and over again wondering where the power for victory lies. We try and try and try. We become exhausted, afraid to go to the Father even though it is to Him we must go for relief and safety.

A prayer by one of the old Puritans says,

“I confess my sin, my frequent sin, my willful sin; all my powers of body and soul are defiled; a fountain of pollution is deep within my nature. There are chambers of foul images within my being; I have gone from one odious room to another, walked in a no-man’s-land of dangerous imaginations, pried into the secrets of my fallen nature. I am utterly ashamed that I am what I am in myself…” Paul speaks to this in Romans 7. He does what he doesn’t want to do and doesn’t do what he does want to do. The Puritan says, “Thou has struck a heavy blow at my pride, at the false god of self, and I lie in pieces before Thee. But Thou has given me another Master and Lord, Thy Son Jesus…” Paul says, “But I thank God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

Sister, being weighed down by your sin is good in-so-far that it causes you to turn from self and idolatry and to Jesus. Bear with me as I quote the finish of the Puritan’s prayer: “Save me from the…pride of life, from everything natural to fallen man, and let Christ’s nature be seen in me day by day.” Now, get a visual of this plea. “Grant me grace to bear Thy will without repining [fretting, being discontent], and delight to be [here it is!] not only chiseled, squared, or fashioned, but separated from the old rock where I have been embedded so long, and lifted from the quarry to the upper air, where I may be built in Christ for ever.” Did you see yourself being broken away from the rock, fully hewn into Christ’s sculpture, soaring free from the depths of imprisonment–made like Christ, being freed from besetting sins, slowly but surely?

Author Matt Papa says that we worship our way into sin and so we must worship our way out of it. We need a greater thrill (than the sin). We need a more captivating beauty. We must fix our gaze on Christ and His beauties rather than fixate on our sins. As we do this and are consumed by His excellencies we find ourselves being less and less attracted to the sin. I repeat Paul: “I thank God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

God, our gentle Father, likens Himself to a mother hen or bird securing her babies under her wings. He does this for His children where He protects us from the world and sin and Satan, even from ourselves. I often think of myself in that place of protection and have composed and prayed the following prayer as a result–a prayer of holy resignation, when I finally give up the struggle, trying to conquer sin by my own willpower and run to Him.

Father, I behold your mighty greatness in Your Word and in the remembrance of a myriad acts of mercy and faithfulness to me. I see you beckon me to Yourself. Sometimes I come haltingly, ashamed and afraid. Sometimes I come running with desperation, trembling.  Always I come,  casting myself at Your feet, grasping them and Your clean robes. And always, You lift me up and wrap your arms around my quivering self and clasp me under your sheltering wings–so safe–and the shaking stops. I peer out from that haven. The world is still roiling, but I am forgiven and secure.

Take heart!

With love,
Cherry

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Lessons From Joseph

Beloved sister,

Is it the friend who betrayed you?  Or could it be the relative who defamed your character?  Is it the co-worker you sit next to every day, or the church member you dread seeing?  Chances are, there is someone in your life that you need to forgive, to move past bitterness.  We all, in our flesh, are prone to holding a grudge, and withholding the love that is due our friends, relatives, and neighbors.  And yet as Christians, we are called to a radical life of forgiveness.  But how, you ask?  When the pain is so big, and the reasons for extending grace and forgiveness seem so small in comparison, what then?  You don’t understand what I’ve been through, you protest!  And perhaps I do not, but can I offer a word of encouragement?  Christ forgave you, when you were His enemy, and because HE suffered for us in every way, without sin, He will see us ALL through this challenging process of forgiveness.  Let’s take a walk through the life of Joseph for some answers….

Was Joseph without sin? As a young man, and the favorite of his father, Joseph made some choices that were perhaps not as wise as could be.  Telling his brothers of his dreams of greatness not once, but twice, was a good way to incite anger in them, which eventually led to the poor treatment he received.  No, his brothers were certainly not justified in what they did, but can we take to heart what we see here?  That perhaps there is some fault on our part, as well as on the part of the ones who have sinned against us?  Can we commit to reflection, even if our imperfections were very small in comparison to how we were sinned against?  Searching my own heart and seeing my faults often makes forgiveness easier to work through.

We all suffer greatly, but our Savior is Greater…. He was left for dead, sold into slavery, twice imprisoned, and slandered in character, to name a few things that Joseph endured.  We all have our laundry list of ways we have been sinned against.  I am not here to belittle what you have suffered dear sister, but do you, like me, often rehearse in your mind what has been done to you, in sin?  Reach out to your compassionate Savior instead, who suffered to the point of death, in perfect innocence.  Though our sufferings may be great, there is One who has suffered greater, and will walk with us through the darkest valleys.

The love of God breaks Joseph’s heart…. In Genesis 45, we see how Joseph’s love for his brothers finally won over, and he wept as he declared his identity.  While we do not see what transpired in the heart of Joseph, it is obvious that God was at work, bringing him to this point of deep forgiveness and grace towards those who had sinned against him.  We even see how they dined together in fellowship.  How can we arrive at this point?  This is only possible by the grace of God.  As we daily offer our hurts to the Lord, He is able to change our hearts and bring us to the point of radical forgiveness.

There is hope for you and me…. My dear sister, perhaps this has been a painful letter to read, as you struggle to know how you can come to the point of forgiving your enemies.  But may I encourage you—not one of us is able to forgive, apart from knowledge of how we have been forgiven.  As we humble ourselves before an Almighty God, admit our own sin, and embrace the forgiveness we are offered in Christ, we will become radical ‘dispensers of Grace’…. ambassadors in the great Kingdom of Love.

Your forgiven sister,

Ruth

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Learning to Let It Go

My Dearest Sister,

It’s happened again, hasn’t it? A particular person in your life has sinned against you – and it’s definitely not the first time. You try to fight the desire for vindication rising up in you, but in the end you just can’t ignore its stubborn little voice: “You’ve already dealt with this before, too many times. You always forgive [insert name here], but this just keeps happening. Really, what’s the point anymore?” And then you cross your arms, stick your chin out and say “Not anymore!”. Sadly, sister, this is something that I can relate with all too well. I have been told on more than one occasion that I have a “tender heart” (translation: “breaks easily”). When someone offends me, I usually have a hard time letting it go. Let’s face it: Forgiveness isn’t something that comes naturally to anyone. When someone hurts us, we want them to get what they deserve, don’t we? If only they could feel a little bit of the pain they’ve cause us, then maybe they would learn their lesson; Maybe then they would understand.

However, when Peter asked the Lord how many times we should forgive a brother who sins against us, Jesus replied, “Up to seventy times seven.” That’s 490 times! I certainly hope that you never have to forgive somebody on that many separate occasions, but Jesus gave us a big number to make the point that we are to forgive our brother or sister in Christ as many times as they sin against us; as many times as it takes. It was not until I was an adult that God really began teaching me this lesson. I remember thinking, “But Lord, this is the same sin that they committed just two days ago! How am I supposed to forgive them when I am still so hurt, when my heart is still raw?” And just as those words had formed in my mind, I heard the Lord’s voice in my heart: “But I have forgiven you unto everlasting life and my mercies are new each morning.” Whoa! Talk about humbling! I had never considered that what I was feeling must only be a tiny fraction of what God feels. We sin against Him daily, yet He is always there with open arms, just waiting to shower us with His limitless forgiveness. So how can I, as a forgiven sinner washed clean by the blood of Christ, be so stingy with my own forgiveness towards my brethren who have received the same absolution from sin that I have?

Jesus talks about this attitude of ours towards forgiveness in Matthew, Chapter 18 through the parable of the unforgiving servant. You remember the story: a king forgives a servant who owed him 10,000 talents (roughly 150,000 years worth of wages) and surprise – couldn’t pay his debts. Then this same man finds a fellow servant who owed him just 100 denari (about 100 days wages) and demands payment, refusing to hear the man’s pleas for mercy. The king then confronts the man whom he had first pardoned, saying “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?” Then the king delivers the servant to the torturers until he can pay all that is owed. “So my heavenly Father will also do to you,” Jesus concludes, “if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”

Do you know those old iron ball and chains that prisoners in Saturday morning cartoons used to wear? Anywhere they went, they had to drag that heavy weight behind them. That’s what un-forgiveness is like. When you think about it, it’s pretty hard to do anything for Christ with a deadweight shackled to our ankles. Even in my youth, I have spent too many years dragging around that ball and chain. Not only does it make us weary and bitter, but it also separates us from open communion with God. Mark 11:25-26 tells us that if we “have anything against anyone, forgive him that your Father in heaven may also forgive your trespasses.” There is no way around it, my dear friend: We cannot stand before God with the prison weight of un-forgiveness strapped to us. And I ask you, what is more torturous to a Christian than being distant from the Lord? Whether it is their first or five-hundredth offense, we must be able to let the sins of others go and wipe the slate clean; Otherwise, it becomes our own personal burden to bear.

~Your Sister,

Lauren