My Dearest Sister,
Have you ever wanted something so badly that nothing but that one thing even seemed like a possibility to you? Have you then experienced your world come to a screeching halt because that one thing didn’t happen? I’m not talking about the tickets to a long-awaited movie release being sold out or the grocery store not carrying your favorite flavor of ice cream. While yes, these things can be upsetting, I’m referring to that hope-crushing, seemingly life-altering disappointment that happens when nothing turns out as you had expected. You planned, you hoped, and maybe you even prayed for it to happen, but it all seems to have been for naught. Even when we try to keep ourselves from having any expectations, it feels as if our hearts have desires of their own sometimes, despite our best efforts to control them. I will admit that I am familiar with this kind of disappointment; Even recently it came calling like an unwelcome guest in my heart.
For months now my husband and I have been excitedly waiting to find out where our first duty station in the Army is going to be. Since he is currently in training and is considered “Active Duty”, we knew that we wouldn’t find out until near the end of flight school. Even though we were able to select our top three choices, we could still be sent pretty much anywhere the Army wanted us to go. Knowing that, I tried my hardest not to get my hopes up about any particular post but despite my best efforts, my heart began to settle on Hunter Army Airfield in Georgia. To be honest, I really wanted to be close to my family in Florida and be able to enjoy the warm Southern weather that I have grown to love. Plus, living in downtown Savannah would have been a really fun experience. It almost seemed as if my heart had decided for me what I wanted, all without my consent. Well you can imagine my disappointment when we found out that we will actually be stationed at Fort Drum in upstate New York – and I mean almost-to-Canada-upstate. I tried to be excited and make the best of it, but I could feel my heart sink. Not only is Fort Drum in the middle of pretty much nowhere, it’s also bitterly cold half of the year. Having been born and raised in Florida, six feet of snow and sub-zero temperatures are not my idea of a good time. I don’t even own a parka, a snow shovel, or any of the other winter essentials. Needless to say, this was not at all what I had been hoping for.
As unexpected and unwelcome as this news was to me, the truth is that these moments of disappointment are inevitable. Sometimes we can’t help but get our hopes up only to have them dashed right before our eyes. There is one thing, however, in which we will never be disappointed and that is the hope we have in God. Romans 5:5 says “Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” At times when it seems like our lives just aren’t going where we want them to, it is important for us to remember that we serve aloving, dependable, and sovereign God. He is in control of all things, even the crazy and unexpected twists and turns of our lives; And because He loves us (so much that He sent His only Son to suffer and die in our place) we know that He has our very best in mind, even if we can’t see it in our current circumstances.
However, as Romans 8:28 reminds us, there is a condition to us receiving this good He has planned for us: “And we know that all things work together for good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” You see, the trouble begins when we get so focused on our own purposes, that we forget about the Lord’s. It’s kind of silly to think that we know what we need more than the all-powerful Creator and Sustainer of the universe, but we do sometimes, don’t we? Boy, does that sound like setting ourselves up to be disappointed! To be honest, I don’t even know what I am going to be eating for breakfast tomorrow, let alone what my life is going to be like in year, or two, or even ten. But you know what? God does. So, while moving to New York may not have been a part of my plan, I can be confident that it certainly is a part of God’s; and for that, my sister, I should not be disappointed but should stand up and praise the fact that He is Sovereign and Lord over my life.
I want to end by saying this: Disappointment will not prevail against us. It is only a temporary distraction from the bigger picture of God’s plan for us, both now and for eternity. If we have the Holy Spirit within us, then we will always have hope in the Lord, no matter what the circumstances or situations surrounding our lives may be. I also want to thank you, my friend, for writing this letter to you has caused me to search my own heart in regards to my personal disappointments, both past and present. What I have uncovered is not pretty, but it is an opportunity to turn my focus from the hopes I have for myself to the eternal hope that I have in God, made possible through His great love. It is true that life can let us down sometimes, but we can be sure that God never will.
Your sister in Christ,
~ Lauren
