Dear sister,
I’ll never forgot what a faithful friend (Prov. 27:6) said to me when I was going through a rough spot several years ago- “Ruth, you really need to consider whether or not you believe God is good.” At that time, I had no idea what she meant, and really no desire to find out (it sounded like it would involve a lot of pain!), but the comment haunted me for a long time. Turns out, God was already planning on teaching me that very lesson, and was using those rough times to do just that. I’d imagine you’ve had seasons like that as well. The question of God’s goodness in the midst of suffering is one that has been discussed, debated, and agonized over throughout the centuries of the Christian faith. As author Joanna Weaver conveys in her book, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, Martha started to wonder if Jesus really cared about her (Luke 10:40)…. maybe you’re wondering that too. I’m reminded of these everyday times of doubt in this quote of Weaver’s:
”Doubting God’s love doesn’t require tragedy. It can creep into the everyday just as insidiously, just as dangerously.”
Sweet sister, you don’t have to be going through a tough time to forgot God’s goodness—you need only to look to the last time you got ‘frustrated’ (a.k.a. angry) about not having any blessing you think you ‘deserve’. Believe me- I’m not preaching at you- I fall into that category almost everyday! As I’ve written here and elsewhere before, the best solution to an ungrateful, discontented heart is praise and thankfulness to God for His goodness! Lately, I’ve been asking God to give me the eyes to see His goodness in my daily life, expressly for the purpose of praising Him. I long to taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8), but the cares of this world and the desires of my flesh deaden my taste buds and dull my eyes, preventing me from truly rejoicing in the realities of who God is.
God can handle your doubts sister, but don’t live in unbelief. I’ve wasted too much time there, and believe me – the view is much better from where I sit now! God has and is doing a good work in me – a work that is transforming my doubtful heart, slowly, but surely. Ask Him to renew your belief in His goodness if you are struggling. It’s a prayer He delights to answer for your good and His glory.
Weaver reminds us: ”The fact is, until we stop doubting God’s goodness, we can’t experience His love.” God’s goodness is not affected by your lack of belief, but the fullness of His love will never be yours until you wrestle with this truth. In 2 Peter 1:3-4 we see that it is the knowledge of God’s goodness that gives us access to everything required for life and godliness! Remind yourself of His goodness daily! Satan loves to tempt us with the lie that God is holding out on us…. only us…. He slyly whispers that everyone else has that very thing we desire. It’s simply not true, my friend. In Psalm 145:9, we read: “The Lord is good to everyone; His compassion rests on all He has made.” I look forward to hearing your testimony of God’s great goodness in your life (Psalm 145:7). It won’t be long, for His goodness is already within you, around you, and leading you into every new day.
Resting in His goodness,
Your sister Ruth