Unity and Gentleness

My dearest Sister,

Just yesterday I was reading a devotional on Ephesians 4:1-3. Paul says “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” In Paul’s typical manner he not only told me what to do, but how as well. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians exhorts me to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called.” I am to do this in humility and gentleness, with patience…and so forth.

But what is this gentleness that Paul is speaking of? I have heard the word used many times before, but I don’t think I have ever really understood everything the word entails. Charles Hodge defined gentleness as the “unresisting, uncomplaining disposition of mind which enables us to bear other people’s faults without irritation or resentment.” Wow. I’d never thought about gentleness that way before. I guess I always associated gentleness with being soft-spoken, and always speaking in love. I see in this insightful definition that gentleness pushes beyond not losing your temper when someone pushes you too far.

Paul didn’t stop at humility and gentleness, and neither should I. He also said, “with patience, bearing with one another in love”. You might have a translation that uses the word longsuffering instead of patience. I like this word better because it captures the essence of how we are to live with others that may be different than us, and yes, may have annoying habits! It means loving a person with the love of Christ (see 1 Corinthians 13) despite their faults and despite their irritating habits. Now I know this sounds challenging. It is. There is nothing easy about loving others, especially those who may be more difficult to love than say, your best friend. Thankfully, we don’t have to rely on ourselves to change our ways. We can ask Jesus to give us the grace to treat all of our brothers and sisters with gentleness. He will give it to us! He is always faithful!

I’m sorry to have to write you and share that just this past week my patience has been, at best, thin. It seems that at one point I was more self-controlled and more able to deal with the annoyances of others. Now, I just feel that every little thing gets me wound up and grumpy. I’m easily annoyed and don’t often trouble myself to hide it. Reading this passage of Scripture and taking in this new perspective on gentleness has convicted me and by the grace of God it has brought me to repentance! But there is one last thought I want to leave with you. Paul didn’t just give us the “what” and the “how,” he also gave us the “why.”

You and I bear with one another in love in order to “maintain unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” As sisters in Christ, we are of one body, and we all belong to Him, having been made new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17), and because we are of one body we should strive to act like it. Unity is one of our defining characteristics as Christians. Dear sister in Christ, may we together strive to maintain this precious gift through pursuing a spirit of gentleness with all people and in all circumstances.

Your sister,
Kayla