Forgiveness: Paid in full!!!

Dear Sister,

I got frustrated with my nine month old…again.  I needed to run that red light or I would be late for my meeting.  My husband is the one that cheated on me; he is the one that needs to ask for forgiveness.

I really think that I tend to rank my sins!  There are the little ones that come just because we are born in sin…you know, frustration at my child and husband, eating more chocolate than I need, or even running a red light when I’m in a hurry.  Then there are the big ones:  Adultery, pornography, eating disorders.  That must mean that forgiveness follows that same ranking, right?  Well, actually, no it does not.  The bible clearly states that the wages of sins is death (Rom 6:23).  EVERY sin deserves death…even the ones I think can be excused or ignored.  That also means that my sin of gluttony or frustration has the same penalty as the one who commits murder.  Wow.  That also means that Jesus dying on the cross pays for the death that frustration, rape and murder deserve.  Wow.  Forgiveness begins with knowing how much we have been forgiven because of what Christ has done.  With His forgiveness comes our responsibility for forgiving others.  We have been forgiven much, we need to now forgive others (Col 3:13).  But what does that look like?

My dear friend, forgiveness is not easy.  It takes real humility.  It means that you are canceling the debt that someone owes you and paying for it yourself.  Someone has to pay for the sin.  We want the other person to pay for the hurt but forgiveness says that you in fact, pay for the hurt that was done to you!  Wow, that is not easy!  It does not mean forgetting; let’s face it that is impossible.  But it does mean not holding that sin against the person even if you have an occasion to bring it back up to them.  It also means that you do not tell your best friend or mom about what your husband or friend has done to you.  You are not free to gossip to others about a sin that you have cancelled.  That is not easy.  That takes humility.

I’ve struggled with forgiveness in another way.  I say that I forgive my friend for gossiping about me but then a week, a month, or years later I find those same angry feelings spewing up from my gut once again.  But I thought I had forgiven her?  Yes, forgiveness is an event when you tell someone you forgive them.  But it is also a process.  Those hurt feelings will come up again and you will need to continue to forgive the person.  It is an event and also a process.  Thinking of it like this will help you not become bitter and angry which are sins in themselves.

Forgiveness is not easy.  It really does take humility. This humility is seen by Jesus who gave up the riches of heaven to become a man and die on the cross for us (Phil 2).  He is our example.  Remember that He forgives us for EVERY sin we have ever or will ever commit against him.  He does not hold it against us; in fact, he paid the penalty for each sin.  He continues to forgive us even when we commit the same sin again, even when we fail to forgive others.  Oh I pray that I will be quick to forgive!  I pray that I will remember how much I have been forgiven so I can forgive others who sin against me.  No sin is too small to forgive.  No sin is too big to forgive.  You see, forgiveness begins and ends with the cross.  Jesus is our example and our ultimate hope for the forgiveness of all sins.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen