Casting My Fear

Dear sister,

I have a confession to make. (What else is new, right?) I have to confess to you that I spend more, if not most of my time, living in fear. Living in fear of the past, living in fear of the present, and living in fear of the future, in fear of the unknown. I know now, you’re saying, “But, Kayla, you have Jesus. You know Him personally. Why should you be afraid?” I don’t have a good answer. Only that I’m a sinner. And as a sinner I am naturally disposed to fear. I would rather live in fear of life (essentially) than put my trust wholly in a sovereign God. I know it’s silly and it doesn’t make sense, but there it is. Now I can hear you saying, “Oh but Kayla, our God is wholly trustworthy; He is sovereign; He knows the plans He has for you. He is with you; there is no need to fear.” I know. I really do. But even in the knowledge of that truth, doubts still arise. A part of me still says, “God won’t be faithful. He will forget about you. He will not bring His plans for you to fruition. Your faith is futile.” I am not God and because of this my knowledge is limited and I can only see my life from one vantage point—the present. I can look back on the past and see God’s hand in those things that I once did not understand but only because I am now in the present. I cannot see God’s hand at work presently because the future is still unknown. The unknown future will one day be the known present but in the meantime I find it hard to believe and hard to trust that God will bring it about because I can’t see how I am going to get there. And so, I’m fearful. I’m scared that it won’t work out, that maybe I won’t get married and I won’t raise a family; the two things that I am unquenchably longing for in my life.

If we read Scripture, it is overtly clear that God does not want us to live this way, dear sister! He doesn’t want us to be fearful. He wants us to trust! He wants us to cast ALL our anxieties on Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5: 7). He doesn’t want us to worry but He wants us to bring all our requests to Him in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving (Philippians 4: 6-7). He tells us numerous times not to fear and commands us saying, “Do not be afraid.”

So, now I and possibly you as well have a decision to make, dear sister. We must choose now to forsake the temptation to fear because we are uncertain of how the future will work out. Instead we must cling to the precious promises of our God and Savior. We must trust that He will be faithful, that He will, as the popular hymn says, grant our desires through what He ordains. The exciting thing, dear sister, is that one of God’s attributes is faithfulness. It is a part of His character to be faithful and He cannot deny Himself. This means that God cannot be unfaithful ! It is impossible for Him to fail in His faithfulness to us! Revel in the knowledge of that truth!!! Forsake fear and trust in the faithfulness of our great and mighty God!

Under His wing,

Kayla