Author: Ruth Fink

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He Fights for His Own

Dear sister,

May I tell you a story? The story of a young girl…

She hid behind a living room chair and waited out the burst of anger inflicted on a sibling by an adult who was hurting too. Fear rose up in her from this early memory…and stayed with her. It stayed when she thought she had to be a perfect student, afraid of failing. It plagued her when she wondered if she’d win the races, so she pushed herself harder than most. Would her worth be questioned if she lost? The fear became a friend that motivated her to succeed at a prestigious private school, and the fear led her to believe that God had abandoned her when life got difficult. Was she really not loveable? Was she not working hard enough, being a ‘good enough’ Christian, sister, friend, daughter…etc., etc.?

That was me, until the perfect love of Christ won over. 18 There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love –1 John 4:18. Perfect love pushed the pesky fear out of the dark corners of my heart, exposed the ‘lies, whys, what- ifs, maybes and shoulds’. Do you entertain these demanding houseguests too? They are no longer welcome at my home, though they still come calling. It’s better for me to look through the peephole and keep the door closed!

A dear friend confided in me once that she realized that most, if not all of her actions were motivated by fear, not love. What a telling and convicting comment. Can you relate? Why do we do what we do? Are our actions a result of love more often, or of fear? I am no different than this friend, but I have come quite a long way. Oh may we all search our hearts to see if Christ, or the enemy, is winning the battle over our lives!

I’ll leave you with two of my favorite verses on this topic… and the context of when they became dear to me.

When I lay on my sick bed in Ghana, fighting a possibly fatal bout of malaria, God seared Isaiah 41:10 on my heart. “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand.”

And another sickness, when I lay in a hospital bed in Colorado, having been diagnosed with a condition that shamed (at the time) and confused me, bills left unpaid, friends and family scattered, and life looking hopeless… I heard the words of my Savior. He promised to fight for me when I could not fight. From Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

He will fight for you, sister, and gain the victory over your fears. You are not alone, and you need not fear. Not now, not ever. Our strong and mighty God is able to hold you, comfort you, and bring you safely home.

In Christian love,
Ruth

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The Vice Grip of Anger

Dearest Sister,

It is hard to admit that I struggle with anger. Perhaps you understand, as it is not exactly a ‘feminine’ quality! Certainly not the ‘gentle and quiet spirit’ that I am called to exemplify. But nonetheless, I will be honest and tell you that I have been quite surprised to see this in myself since getting married. Now mind you, this cannot be blamed on my husband, but I will say that marriage can bring out the best—and worst—in a person! More often than I’d like to admit, I can be short-tempered and easily frustrated with my beloved husband. As I thought through this issue, I came across this quote:

“Anger and bitterness are two noticeable signs of being focused on self and not trusting God’s sovereignty in your life. When you believe that God causes all things to work together for good to those who belong to Him and love Him, you can respond to trials with joy instead of anger or bitterness.” –John C. Boger

That gives me a lot to think about. You too? Getting to the root of the issue—self-focus, and doubt, well, now we have something to deal with! Often the idea of ‘anger management’ in the worldly sense is simply a set of coping skills to live with a sin problem. Pardon me if I have offended you, but I am preaching to myself first of all. Anger does not need to be ‘managed’, but instead, put to death. When I address my selfishness, and my doubt in God’s goodness…then I am on the path to victory.

Another realization of mine, as I think through this particular struggle, is that my anger rises up when I do not see a desire of mine being fulfilled. Let’s call it what it is—whether expressed silently or vocally, it is a demand. ‘Something’ must happen in order to secure our happiness, and when it doesn’t, well, we get our knickers in a knot, now don’t we? I know I can.

Let us run to the Lord as we pray this prayer, adapted from Colossians 3: 8, 12-13:

“Lord God, please help us put away all anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk that may come from our mouths. May we put on instead, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven us, so we also must forgive.”
The road to righteousness is not easy, I must remind myself, but with the all-sufficient grace of God, we will find strength to begin again each day.

Keep fighting, dear sister. And rest in the knowledge of your beloved-ness….

Ruth

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Let Us Choose Freedom

Dear sister,

I thought of you last night, as hubby and I did our evening reading.  J.R.R. Tolkien’s, The Hobbit was the impetus.  But first, some back-story…Bilbo Baggins is the main character in this delightful story, and at the start of the book, he reluctantly agrees to embark on a treacherous journey with some new acquaintances, 13 dwarves, and a wizard, Gandalf.  The goal?  To claim the treasure that has been passed on to the dwarves–if they can make it through Mirkwood forest and past the dragon.  At many points along the journey, Bilbo wishes that he never agreed to this.  But {spoiler alert!} once he acquires the ring, and learns that it will provide invisibility; he becomes quite a leader among his fellow travelers.  He is able to help them through many a pinch, and the incident we’ll discuss is no different.  The problem is that the dwarves are not that excited about his method of escape from their current dilemma:  capture by the Elvish King. 

”Bilbo saw that the time had come to explain his idea, as far as he could; but he did not feel at all sure how the dwarves would take it.  His fears were quite justified, for they did not like it a bit, and started grumbling loudly in spite of their danger.  ‘We shall be bruised and battered to pieces, and drowned too, for certain”‘ they muttered.  ‘We thought you had got some sensible notion, when you managed to get hold of the keys.  This is a mad idea!’ ‘Very well’! said Bilbo very downcast, and also rather annoyed.  ‘Come along back to your nice cells, and I will lock you all in again, and you can sit there comfortably and think of a better plan–but don’t suppose I shall ever get hold of the keys again, even if I feel inclined to try.”

Perhaps you see the corollary?  At times, I see myself in the same situation as the dwarves…hearing the Lord’s voice leading me out of a current entrapment with sin…{have you been trapped in sin, sister?}.  Isn’t it easier to remain trapped, than it is to risk freedom, and the treacherous path to get there?  We choose the comfortable, but deadly route, when freedom is right around the corner, beckoning us to come near.  I have chosen my imprisonment far too many times.  

As Christians, we are all moving from death to life, through the process of sanctification; we face trials and circumstances that we would rather avoid. But these very trials (and joys) will be a part of the training ground our Father has planned for us.  What about you?  What lays ahead for you?  May I challenge you to turn your mind to the battle that Christ won on the cross? Galatians 5:1:  “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

Freedom is yours dear sister, if you will accept the journey…even if reluctantly, like Bilbo.

Fighting with you,
Ruth

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The Beauty of Suffering

Dear sister,

I wish you were there so we could have sat together, but this day I sat alone, on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands, crying…again. It was years ago, but I didn’t understand why God had placed me in that difficult situation. It was a set of circumstances that seemed impossible, and joy and thanks even harder. I felt bitterness beginning to set in, and at some points in that journey, I didn’t really care. I know you also have suffered deeply in this fallen world…and perhaps asked ‘why me, God?’ You are not alone. The Bible tells us we will face trials and tribulations in this world, and not to be surprised because of this (1 Peter 4:12). But often a sense of injustice rises up in us….’what did I do to deserve this, you might ask?’ Oh sister, do not give in to that lie. You are not being punished. (And what we truly deserve is far worse than any trial.) There are redemptive reasons for suffering. Stay with me, and find hope in God’s Word.

As hard as it may be to hear right now, all suffering is ultimately for the glory of God. I struggle with this one, as perhaps you might too, but I believe it is the best place for us to start. How can a bloody war, a sexually abused woman, an angry boss, and a wayward husband bring glory to God, you wonder? In many ways they don’t. Sin separates us from God; it never glorifies Him. The key point, however, is what God does to redeem and restore all things, and use them for great purposes in His kingdom. You may not have travelled long enough in your journey with a current struggle to see any way that God could use your pain for good, but we must cling to God’s Word, and believe that He can do this (Romans 8:28). May I remind you also, dear sister, of Lazarus’ story? ”When Jesus heard it [that Lazarus was very sick], He said, “This sickness will not end in death but is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”

Dear sister, may I remind you that suffering gives us the unique chance to comfort others? Read with me in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” Please do not give up in your discouragement, my sister, God wants to use your pain and trials to comfort others in the family of God. Pray that He will do so, and keep your heart open to this possibility. Do not give in to bitterness, as I was tempted to do, in my deep pain. I know you have the faith to hang on, and even more, you have a great God that will see you through.

Oh sister, take heart, as I will end with the most beautiful redemptive purpose of all: suffering will deepen your intimacy with and faith in Christ. Our Father loves us so deeply, and longs for us to be intimately united in faith to our Bridegroom, His beloved Son Christ Jesus. Lean into this trial you face, do not run from it, and allow the Lord to whisper His promises over your weary heart and soul. Ask for His grace, for it is all-sufficient grace! Remember please, what our brother, Paul said concerning the fellowship found in suffering with Christ…(Romans 8:17 and Philippians 3:10)

My prayer for you, for me, is that we would embrace each trial as a gift of grace from the Lord. “Everything is needful that He sends; nothing can be needful that He withholds.” (John Newton)

In Christian love, your sister–Ruth

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The Ultimate Act of Kindness

Dear Sister,

The Ultimate Act of kindness;
As I penned the words in a letter that would never be delivered, my anger, bitterness, and un-forgiveness towards the offender was handed over to God. My sin had been dragging me down, like a huge boulder around my ankles, keeping me from the life of freedom and joy that was bought for me on the Cross. And though I didn’t see it at the time, I was participating in the greatest act of kindness ever done, the first true forgiveness begun at the Cross, and continued through my changed heart towards the one that had grieved me deeply.

In Ephesians, we find this command: Ephesians 4:32 (HCSB) 32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ. Here we see that there is a direct relationship between kindness and forgiveness. Think back to the last time you spoke an unkind word. What was the source of that unkind word, you might ask yourself? All too often, for me, it is bitterness that has grown within me, the result of a lack of forgiveness. Oh, how easy it is to collect past hurts, like trinkets in a curio cabinet, and allow them to collect dust within us. But our example is Christ, who put aside all things, to show us the ultimate act of kindness, his death on the Cross. We see this in Ephesians, as the verse begins with the topic of kindness, and ends with the example of the cross as the final summation of the idea, of the chapter.

All of our acts of kindness must flow out of that great and glorious example of grace shown us on the Cross. Without this as the motivation for our kindness, we will be giving in to a works-based mentality, relying on our own resources, and our limited supply of kindness, rather than on the unlimited treasures of God’s grace. In my mind, kindness then is the big and small acts of grace that we shower on those around us, because of the transformation we receive through Christ and His sacrifice.

Aristotle’s Rhetoric defines kindness as being “helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped.” (Wikipedia) What greater need did any of us have, but the salvation of our souls? And what act of kindness better exemplified an act not solely for ‘the helper himself, but for that of the person helped,’ than what Christ did for us on the Cross? I pray we would not lose the depth of this virtue, kindness, as simply one in a list of many others. No, it is the result of a transformed life, a life transfixed on the Gospel.

Be kind….just as God also forgave you in Christ.

Basking in His extravagant kindness….

Your sister,
Ruth