Author: Ruth Fink

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A Righteous Oak Has Fallen

Grace and peace to you sisters!

I pray this has been a month of deep reflection and growth, as we’ve considered the
steadfast ways of our Lord that we are called to emulate. It has been wonderful for me to meditate on this topic as well, and several people have come to mind as I’ve done so. These people are dear to me, and have shown me the nature of this word, ‘steadfast,’ simply by living out their everyday lives of faithfulness. They are a reflection of this definition of steadfastness that I found in the Webster’s 1828 dictionary: Firmness of mind or purpose; fixedness in principle; constancy; resolution; as the steadfastness of faith. “He adhered to his opinions with steadfastness.”

My husband is definitely fixed in his principles, and that translates to his everyday actions and choices. Some may critique this, to be so certain of Truth and it’s application to many life issues, but it brings a sense of peace and stability to my life to be reminded of the things we believe as Christians and as a family. I can count on Paul to remain true to his word because he is true to the Word of God. Two people that also come to mind are my parents, who brought us up to know the Word of God, and the importance of sharing the Gospel. It is amazing to see how so many things that I take for granted, that are woven into the fabric of my personality, are simply things that I was taught as a young child. I praise God for the steadfast witness and convictions of my parents.

But my heart has been heavy over the loss of an incredible woman, my Oma, who lived a remarkably steadfast life for almost 95 years. Oma, which is German for grandma, was born in Poland in 1918. She endured numerous trials in her life, many details we will never know. She was a nurse in the German army, and came through Ellis Island shortly after the war ended. Faithfully raising 5 children to know and love the Lord, she suffered marital and financial concerns. She learned English by listening to the radio, and cared for many children besides her own. In fact, many of those children she babysat to earn extra grocery money stayed in touch with her after she moved and retired to Florida.

What is striking for me is to think over all the things she suffered, and yet how she relied on the Lord through it all. I simply can’t imagine having to watch my family being threatened and shot at by Nazi soldiers, to come across the ocean on a boat, to suffer the loneliness of adjusting to a foreign culture and language, to raise my family without the support, encouragement, or finances needed, etc. The list is so long in my mind, but none of that seemed to deter Oma from her faithfulness to God. Many people choose to walk away from God when faced with trials that pale in comparison to what my Oma faced. Though she lived alone, I never saw fear or anxiety in her. She meditated on the Word of God and He gave her a steadfast heart and mind (Isaiah 26:3, Psalm 112:7)

I praise God for this steadfast example that I have to draw on, and know that our family line was impacted in such a mighty way by her faithful daily prayers for all her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. I don’t think I would believe so strongly in prayer myself, had it not been for the example she passed on to my mother, who passed it on to me.

I think back on some rough years I’ve been through, and see where God is taking Paul and I now, and know that the joy we are experiencing is in part due to her faithful prayers that buoyed me through my storms. She always encouraged me to wait for the right man, and prayed faithfully that God would provide him in the right time. In fact, I still remember her joy when I called to tell her about meeting Paul. When I started teaching, she wrote letters and encouraged me that what I was doing was so important in the eyes of God. And though the slippers she knitted for me will not last forever, I have her memory in my heart, and look forward to the day we will be worshipping at the throne of God together. I am confident that God received glory from her life, as well as her death. I find myself living with more purpose and clarity as I reflect on her well-lived, steadfast life. God has called us to just a few short years here, sister. Live them well, steadfast in heart and mind, for the glory of our eternal King!

Resting in Him,
Ruth

“And they will be called righteous trees, planted by the Lord to glorify
Him.” Isaiah 61:3b

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKRF8UihM5s

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How Being Childless is Preparing Me for Motherhood

Dear sister,

There will always be something you’re waiting for. It could be something as inconsequential as being in line at the supermarket, or it could be bigger, like waiting for a check to post, or monumental like graduation, marriage, and motherhood. Whatever it is, that waiting time is there for a reason. But remember: it’s also just a season! (Yes, the rhyming helps me J) As I wait for the season of motherhood, I’m learning several lessons. Lessons that will carry me through other trying times in life. Can you relate?

Using truth to deal with emotions

You can ask my husband his opinion, but I’m thankful God has helped me grow in this area (even just a little?) I still have so far to go. Emotions always try to take the driver’s seat in my life. It takes an act of God some days to get my thoughts going in the right direction. Those sometimes helpful, but often pesky, emotions flood me with opportunities for temptation if I do not use them as indicators to my deeper heart issues. Stopping and evaluating what I’m feeling in the moment, asking for feedback (sometimes scary) and also taking it to the Lord, is so helpful to me. Then I must submit the feeling to the truth revealed in Scripture. Are anger, sorrow, loneliness, fear, etc. always ‘wrong’? Well, if indulged over trust in the Lord, yes, however, on many occasions God acknowledges and accepts our feeble emotions and then shows us how to deal with them. (Eph. 4:26, Psalm 34:4, John 14:1, 1 Peter 5:7) It is exciting to see God changing me as I surrender my thought life to Him! How often I have heard my girlfriends admit their feelings of being overwhelmed by the ups and downs of motherhood, and so I thank God that He is divinely helping me to learn how to better handle my emotions now.

Honoring and cherishing my husband

Two years ago, I made a promise to my husband before God and many witnesses that I would love, cherish, honor… that dear man with which I share four walls, many meals, memories, joys, sorrows… life. Let me tell you, it was much easier to speak the promise, than it’s been to daily keep the promise! We’re sinners. Should I be surprised? Taking the extra effort every day to make my hubby feel like a king in his home is hard, but it’s also my joy. I’ve learned his habits, his preferences, his weaknesses and strengths, and in many ways I can cater to what helps and brings him joy. Doing this with creativity is an extra challenge, but also quite fun! I can only imagine how caring for little ones saps the energy to be creative, rested, willing… to serve my man. So I’m taking the time now to make those things a habit. Dear sister, after your Jesus, your husband must always come before the kiddos!

Putting my ultimate hope in Christ for satisfaction

None of this will matter…. at all…. if you’re not finding your hope and joy in Christ first and foremost. I’ve had to learn this through trying times, when nothing else made sense. It is comforting, in a strange way, to know that everything could fall apart in my life (again) and I’d still be able to stand firm on the Solid Rock, knowing that my inheritance in Christ, in heaven, has not been shaken (1 Peter 1:4). Without this bedrock to our daily comings and goings, whether married, single, mothering or not, we are walking on shifting sand and ultimately all our good deeds will be burned up (1 Cor. 3: 11-15). Many days this goal to keep my eyes fixed on eternity seems like impossibility, but confessing my weakness, and crying out to God, I always find that He will fix my heart and soul on Him. What a gift my mother gave to me, as I watched her live life this way. Today and in the future, I hope to give that gift to as many little ones God brings my way, whether in my church, my home, or my classroom.

Remember—there’s a reason—but it’s only a season!

Ruth

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Joy: It’s Worth the Fight

Sweet sister,

Rugged mountain terrain in rural Guatemala, remote villages in the African bush, busy street vendors in Mexico City, they all bring memories of brilliant smiles from joyful and content locals, who seemed to be naturally quite thankful, brimming with hope. I have struggled to understand why in my safe, spoiled, educated, technology-saturated, relatively unencumbered everyday life, joy and contentment seem so elusive. Perhaps I don’t know the deep struggles of those I met on all my college mission trips…. yes, I know I don’t. However, I wonder if those dear brothers and sisters abroad are faced with the need to choose joy more often, and have developed muscles that are only recently being stretched in mine?

Though married to a wonderful man that regularly covers me with love, the past two years have pushed me to the place of needing to choose, more often than ever before. Walking with a mirror of myself forced before me daily, in that beloved man, I’ve seen my miserable state of discontent, and the reality of my sin. You may be familiar with the NY Times bestseller, One Thousand Gifts? That book, that mantra to choose joy, was a lifesaver, path-changer, wisdom-giver and joy-bringer for me, in those early days of marriage. I religiously recorded my daily blessings, in hopes that I would start to believe I was blessed. There were many days, of course, when I felt the blessing and easily gave thanks. Sadly, there were many more in which I inwardly grumbled towards my God and my husband. But slowly, as days turned to weeks, months, and now years, I began to see my heart naturally (miracle of all miracles!) CHOOSE! I started to realize that not only could I choose, but also that before choosing, I was chosen by an Almighty God. The only Wise God who planned my steps, was worthy of my praise, regardless of whether I wanted to give it or not. I’ve found so much freedom in just making the choice to follow Christ, and my husband, with JOY through confusing and frustrating circumstances. I’ve found that there is victory in knowing I can be joyful even when everything around me screams that there is no option but misery, despair, hopelessness. I am living proof that joy and hope shine most brightly in the darkness. For it is there that we need it most, and are forced to fight for the air to breathe, the wind of joy that fills our souls, and gives us wings to soar over the darkest of valleys.

Oh sweet sister, though you may be tempted to give in to the depths of the pit where you have fallen, reach out a hand to a friend for help, cry out to God for His ever-present saving mercy, start recording every possible little thing you might be able to see as a gift from God. Look to the last verse in the following passage, and see that all things, even the hard things, are gifts from God. Your pain is real; so believe me when I tell you it won’t be easy to choose. But it will be worth it. In years past, as I confessed to a friend today, I tried to ignore this passage from James 1, but now it brings me sweet peace:
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do….12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him….17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.
You are chosen in the Beloved One, now it’s your turn to choose joy.
Your sister, Ruth

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The Battle is Won!

Dearest sister,

I sense the pain you feel over the thoughtless words you have spoken and I want to encourage you to go to the Father. I have felt that pain: watching the faces fall of those you love, as your words pierce deeply, causing brokenness and distance between you, and also in your walk with the Lord. I had thought I would spend our time discussing the many reasons why we should strive for godly speech, knowing the power of life and death we carry with our words…but I see now that your heart is penitent for your sin and you simply need to be reassured of not only Christ’s love and work on your behalf, but how his perfect speech covers over your many imperfections.

“As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; He shields all who take refuge in him,” Psalm 18:30. Find your refuge in the Lord, even as our enemy seeks to accuse you for your many failures with your words. May I encourage you to also take comfort in the fact that as you stand before God, He sees your words as perfect in the perfect standing you have in Christ. I hope this will give you courage to get up from the pit into which you have fallen, and live the holy life you are called to, knowing you have the flawless words of Christ as your refuge, living inside you.

I’d encourage you to dig deeper into this chapter, Psalm 18, where this verse comes from. This is such a precious passage to me, as I have often seen God powerfully come to my aid in a time of need, as he does here for David, and will do for you. Do you feel as I do, when the evil thoughts and words come? Take comfort that you can cry out to the Lord as we see here: “The ropes of death were wrapped around me; the torrents of destruction terrified me. 5 The ropes of Sheol entangled me; the snares of death confronted me. 6 I called to the Lord in my distress, and I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to Him reached His ears,” Psalm 18.

I do not mean to excuse your sinful speech, as I do not condone mine, either. “I tell you that on the day of judgment, people will have to account for every careless word they speak,” Matthew 12:36. But I also know that we can claim the righteousness of Christ as our own when we stand before God. Take heart as you listen to this powerful song, and fight your battle against careless thoughts and speech, with the power of Christ within you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2X2Kh4Sn0Y

Your sister,

Ruth

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Clinging to the Giver

Dear sister,

I see that you struggle with the topic of prosperity, as do I. It is a delicate issue for many, as likely you connect your worth to your prosperity, as many do. Thank you for giving me the chance to talk with you on this subject, as we learn and grow together. Nothing brings me more joy than growing and building relationships with dear sisters like you.

I remember a conversation we had several months ago, in which you told me of your desire to sell all you have and move to Africa. I have thought in depth about your comments, which remind me of similar sentiments I had around my departure from college. I thought it would honor God to sell my car and all my belongings and move to Africa as well. To do what? I wasn’t sure. But it seemed like a reasonable desire. Certainly, if God has called you to this, I would encourage you to embrace the call fully. But not all, not many, are called to this type of service. Many are called to live and work, have children, or not, but to live in this world, and rub shoulders with those whose every-day struggles keep them from God. They need to hear God’s call into the kingdom, and for many, this is closely tied with their views on money, possessions, and power. That threesome, it is deadly, when channeled towards ungodly gain.

You have the opportunity to share God’s truths on this topic, as you continue to wrestle through the implications yourself. Something my beloved husband has taught me on this topic is that money in and of itself is not evil. Similarly, it is not wrong to work hard and receive material reward for that service. I have the privilege of seeing him live out this hard-work ethic every day. God tells us in Proverbs 14:23 that, “There is profit in all hard work, but endless talk leads only to poverty.” Of course our Father, God, would not inspire these words if He did not intend them for our good. From 1 Timothy 6:17, we read, “Instruct those who are rich in the present age not to be arrogant or to set their hope on the uncertainty of wealth, but on God, who richly provides us with all things to enjoy.” This is the essence of what I want to encourage you with: money and possessions are not evil; it is when our hearts love them more than our Savior that they become evil. God our Father gives good gifts, He delights to do so! (James 1:17)

Enjoy the gifts your Father has showered on you, and remember as I struggle to remind myself, that there is even more joy in sharing these gifts, than there is in hoarding them to ourselves. Acts 20:35: “In every way I’ve shown you that by laboring like this, it is necessary to help the weak and to keep in mind the words of the Lord Jesus, for He said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

You are a beautiful woman, and I’m so thankful for my relationship with you. Take these words, test them with your own knowledge of Scripture, and keep only what is true. They are my offering of all that God has taught me and I hope they will bless not only you, but also all those with which you live and work, love and play, cry and eat. Truly, our Father loves us and delights to show us mercy. Let us cling to the Giver, more than the gifts.

Blessings to you dear sister,

Ruth