Author: Rebecca Edwards

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Pray More and Lecture Less

Dear Sisters,

I have five children. I should be an expert on motherhood. I am not. The longer I parent, the more I am driven to my knees—not just in despair, but joy. Let me illustrate—the other day my 3 year old and I had this conversation in the bathroom:
Me: “Seth, please pick up the bath mat.”
Seth: “What is that?” (Pointing to the bath mat.)
Me: “A bath mat.”
Seth: “No, what is that?”
Me: “A bath mat.”
Seth: “No, what is that?”
Me: “An elephant.” (Makes trumpeting sound.)
Seth: “Ah, ok.”
Me: “!”

Don’t worry, this lovable, wonderful tow-headed toddler is the same one who will often hit his brothers with a toy car when he doesn’t get his way. We do not have a house full of lollipop children. We have a pre-teen over whom we bang our heads against the wall—and likewise thank God for blessing us with her, especially when she watches the rest of the kids so we can run away, err, take a break from time to time.

The kids probably think of me similarly: Mom cooks for me, does my laundry, and loves me—except when she is rampaging around the house about all the things I was supposed to get done, but forgot (or did, but the aforementioned cute toddler came behind me and undid everything).

No, I am not perfect. I love my kids. I want the very best for them. I yearn to see them choose to act with godly wisdom and to be filled with Christ’s love. I have to spend time on my knees for my kids—because I am not perfect (nor are they) and in our most wonderful moments, I know God is much more responsible and deserving of glory than I. Reading Philippians the other night, I came across a passage that reflects my heart for my children.

“For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:8-11.

Paul was, after all, a type of parent to these new churches and did have a parent-like vision for his people. It occurs to me that even Paul was not able to simply inspire people to become model Christians. He too, had to pray and ask God to develop Christ’s heart in his people. The message this mother received is, “Pray more, lecture less, and trumpet more about bath mats!”

Running with you,

Rebecca

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Not-So-Elusive Joy

Dear Sisters,

Joy, for me, is one of the more elusive passions of life.  I struggled with finding much to write about joy (a good indication I needed to wrestle and write about this).  My favorite place to start is the dictionary.  I love to get to the true root of a word or thought.  One of Webster’s 1828 definitions for joy is;  “n. A glorious and triumphant state–, who for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross.  Hebrews 12:2″

I often march through the house, grim and determined to get the cleaning finished and kids through their schoolwork.  I will the laundry to be done and dinner to be delicious (that’s after I figure out what it is going to be).  All while giving a passing thought to perhaps not being quite so tight-lipped and quick to order the kids about.  They probably think I hate my job at times, while I most definitely do not.  I have had other careers and I love my stay-at-home, run-my-own-shop job!  I cannot even imagine another job I would rather have.  That being said, I thrive on challenges and perfection.  I will gladly deny myself relaxation and other treats until after all the work is done.  I look askew at my husband when he sits down with a movie and a treat while dishes are piled in the sink.  HOW can he enjoy himself when the dishes need-to-be-done?!

I like the above definition of joy.  Muscles clenched, sweat dripping, suffering, accomplishing much.  Yes!  Digging deeper, ironically, this definition is a noun.  As Christ hung on the cross, he didn’t have this joy; He saw it in the distance and accepted He would endure to receive it.

Another definition: “v. to rejoice; to be glad; to exult –I will joy in the God of my salvation. Habakkuk  3:18 ” A verb this time, an action!!  Getting excited about God and His salvation—I can do that!  Yet, take a look at the tiny book of Habakkuk, this definition’s reference.  The prophet saw destruction and distress coming, famine and want.  This book certainly does not have a party theme to it, yet even in his tears, Habakkuk found himself rejoicing in God’s salvation.  “The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds’ feet, and makes me walk on my high places.”  Hab. 3:19

Perhaps joy is not as elusive as I previously thought.  It is not circumstantial.  It is, however, reliant on our immutable, unchangeable, wholly good God.  How glad I am that He is the root of my joy—my circumstances may change, my life may utterly disintegrate, but He has, is, and always will be the end;  The most perfect, glorious end.  As C.S. Lewis put it at the end of The Last Battle, “And as He [Aslan] spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after those were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them.  And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after.  But for them it was only the beginning of the real story.  All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page:  now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read:  which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”

Running with You,

Rebecca

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Shush!

Dear Sisters,

I know it all. At least I like to think I do. As you can imagine, I often find myself needing to apologize. I loathe apologizing! So, when I read a devotion about an obscure verse in Proverbs advocating an approach that did not involve apologizing for my verbal errors, you can be sure I paid attention.

“If you have been foolish in exalting yourself or if you have plotted evil, put your hand on your mouth.” Proverbs 30:32

Dr. Gil Stieglitz points out, ”God’s inspired words — through Agur the son of Jakeh — gives us a very interesting solution to the problem of bragging about yourself or foolish self-promotion. He doesn’t say what one would think would be said — that you should apologize and admit you were guilty. Because if you did you would still be drawing attention to yourself…. The solution is to just stop talking. Put a hand over your mouth. Let the conversation go on without you. Let someone else determine the topic. Most likely they will not pick you as the topic. This will allow you to blend into the group and or to allow conversations about people and things that brings balance to the conversation.”

When I have stopped to think back over my conversations with others through the day, I often blush wondering how I could have thought some of my comments wise. At times in the midst of my silly diatribes, I have tried to bumble my way through an apology, searching for appropriate words, missing the opportunity and the mark. How much better it would be (though in many ways, harder) to just fade into the background, silent.

Something else is implied in the verse—yes, I may at times speak without wisdom and need to still my tongue; but first, I have to recognize the Holy Spirit is telling me to, “Shush!” Dear Sisters, until I reach the point of only speaking wisely, I pray I may always feel the nudge of the Spirit to close my mouth so I may not further myself when I should have only been singing His praises.

Running with you,

Rebecca

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Active Patience

Dear Sisters,
I am not a patient individual by nature. Then, God blessed me with a husband… and five children. In fact, I have begun to write this while nursing my youngest. If I could, I would add a few more activities from my to-do list, but I have a feeling that would only result in incomplete chores and a wailing child. As you can imagine, I have a tremendous need for patience. I sorely wish God would “ding” me on the head and magically change me into a phenomenally long suffering woman. Since God is not the Fairy Godmother from Cinderella, my gut tells me I have been signed up for patience-lessons.

Paul wrote the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. If the Spirit resides within me, why am I not good, kind, joyful, and patient at all times? Well, becoming a new creature in Christ resembles a slave being freed from her master who can choose to return to the master and work like a slave again (though the chains are broken), or leave and create a new life. As a new believer, Christ freed the maid from the chains to sin, but He did not place her on a throne, she remains in her world. In other words, as believers, we can now choose to act patiently instead of blowing up in anger, but it is not as if our brains have been completely altered and the only option we have is to be patient. If they had, we would effectively be robots, destroying the reason God created us in the first place.

That brings to mind non-believers patiently loving their own children. Surely the church does not hold the monopoly on virtue. Non-believers can be gentle, peaceful, and kind. The difference between the world’s virtue and the church’s is the goal. Christ admonishes us to love others. A worldly individual chooses to act in accordance with God’s law, or to love others in order to gain for themselves—whether to gain admiration from others or to avoid punishment, their goal is selfish. A believer’s actions should be motivated by the desire to love and follow Christ.

“It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” Gal. 5:1. This seemed to me to be self-explanatory—who would want to walk back into jail after having been freed? But then I realized that I do have a tendency to return to a prison of rules—because they are familiar and it is easy to point, full of pride, to their ‘refinement’ in my life. I often surround myself and my family with inflexible rules—the right way to do laundry, what to eat, when to rest, the correct way to address others. If those rules are not followed, you can see the impatience seething within me. “You were running well; who hindered you from obeying the truth?” Gal. 5:7. Jesus didn’t suffer and die to free me only to enslave me to another set of rules that become the focus—the idol. He freed me so I could be absorbed searching after God’s heart. “Faith working through love” is Jesus’ goal for us (Gal. 5:6).

It is important to note that Christ’s mandate is not to feel love, but to work, to act in love. In the same way, patience is an action, not a feeling. My husband said he thought I am incredibly patient. I looked at him as if he had two heads. Me? Are you talking to the same person that feels like ants are crawling under her skin when for the 100th time I have to remind one of our children to do something correctly? I know I am going to feel the ‘ants’ of impatience, but I don’t have to follow their leading. If I am running by the Spirit, producing fruit, there is no time or room for the deeds of the flesh.

Running with you,
Rebecca