Author: Lauren Titcomb

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Free to Love

My Dearest Sister,

I have noticed in recent years that there is a growing epidemic of what I have decided to call “freedom entitlement.” You have undoubtedly heard the expression “freedom is not free.” Well for some it’s not. Those who value it have given their time, their money, their talents, and their lives all in the name of liberty. They know that they have a responsibility to uphold it. To many others though, particularly my generation, freedom is something that they are born with. It is inherently “theirs” and is as much their right as anyone else’s. And to them it doesn’t mean that they have a responsibility, it means that they can do whatever they want with no restrictions or rules. As long as they don’t physically hurt someone, why should anyone care what they do? It is, after all, a free country, right?

As much as some would like to believe to the contrary, freedom is just not that cut and dry. Even the most important freedom we can have, the liberty from sin that comes with a relationship with Christ, comes with responsibilities. Yes, God did loose ours binds to sin when He sent His Son to die on the cross, but He did not set us free in the world so we could do whatever we want. Romans 6:18 is very clear about this: “And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.” You and I may have been born again through the grace of God but it doesn’t stop there: God designed salvation as a 180 degree turn around. We are not to keep holding on to that chain of sin nor are we to just stand in one place, unmoving. Instead, we have been called to strive in the opposite direction, toward righteousness.

As you may well have observed, a lot of people who call themselves Christians seem to have this part down. They measure everything in their life by whether or not it is good or pleasing to the Lord. They don’t watch any R rated movies, they don’t drink alcohol, they don’t curse, they wear modest clothing, they read the Bible, they go to every Sunday morning service (and Sunday evening service… and Wednesday Bible study… and Thursday prayer meeting… and so on). They say their prayers before every meal and before bed and first thing in the morning. But you know what? These are the same people that stand on street corners with signs that say “God hates sinners!” and “Repent, or burn in hell!” These are the same people that carelessly judge others, that declare everyone who is not as righteous as they are as inferior and condemned. Do you know what Jesus called these religious kinds of people? Pharisees and hypocrites! Do they not know that Jesus himself ate with sinners? That he listened to their problems and healed them? Jesus has a heart for the lost and if we profess Christ as our Lord, then so should we.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for living a life of righteousness; the Bible calls us to do so. However, leaving sin behind and striving toward holiness is only the first part of the story of our freedom. The second is much deeper. In fact, it’s the very reason Jesus was sent to this earth: Love. That simple four letter word is at the heart of it all and I am amazed at how often we miss it entirely. “For God so loved the world…” remember? Love was the reason Christ died on the cross, and it is the reason God puts up with us every day.   Try as we might, we can never live righteously enough to be worthy of our Father’s affection. He gave it freely. And because He gave it freely to us, so are we to give it freely to others. Galatians 5:13-14 sums it all up very well: “For you brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself’.” You see, because love fulfilled the law, we no longer live by the law but by love. It should be the rule by which we measure everything else up against.

So sister, we do have a great freedom in Christ, but with this freedom comes a responsibility. It shouldn’t be used to do whatever we want, and it shouldn’t be used to live a hypocritical life, judging others. It should be used to serve one another with the love this world so desperately needs to see. While striving toward righteousness is important, living to love is imperative! It’s the whole reason God sent his sinless, perfect Son to this earth to be sacrificed for our sins. Love is what loosed our chains and set us free. So embrace your freedom, sister. Live to love!

 

Your liberated sister in Christ,

~ Lauren Titcomb

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His Grace is Sufficient

“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’” ​-2 Corinthians 12:9

My Dearest Sister,
​You may have noticed this about me already, but I can be a bit of a perfectionist at times. It really bothers me when something I do doesn’t turn out just like I had envisioned. Sometimes it even seems that anything not done perfectly is a failure. Whether it’s that I accidentally tapped someone’s bumper in traffic, spoke harsh words to a friend, or forgot to return the library books on time, I hate facing the fact that I have made a mistake. I am reminded of what Kayla mentioned in her letter to you a few days ago. Our flesh wants to rely on its own strength, doesn’t it? To admit weakness is to admit that we aren’t perfect, that we make mistakes and have faults. In short, it is to admit that we can’t do it on our own. What I and my fellow perfectionists sometimes seem to forget is that failures and mistakes are a part of life. No one is perfect because “all have sinned and fall short”, remember? We really can’t do it on our own and that’s the whole reason we need Jesus to begin with.

​I am reminded of Paul’s story in 2 Corinthians 12 where he talks about his thorn in the flesh. The Scripture isn’t really clear as to what this thorn or weakness was, but Paul does say that it was given to him so that he wouldn’t be “exalted above measure,” or be made prideful. He pleaded three times with the Lord that this thorn would be removed so this was obviously something painful, either emotionally or physically, that he struggled with. Instead of removing the thorn, the Lord answered him with the assurance that “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” You see, it would be easy for a guy like Paul, who received all these revelations from God and became such an important part of the early church, to let his position go to his head. Maybe God knew that if Paul wasn’t made very well aware of his own shortcomings, he would have tried to do it in his own strength, not God’s. Maybe he, or even those around him, would have made the mistake of thinking he was just too perfect.

​But as you know, no one – not even Paul – is perfect. If you remember the story, he had quite a tainted past. He used to be Saul of Tarsus, a persecutor and slayer of Christians. But God had a different plan and direction for his life, one that involved an outpouring of grace and mercy on a guilty soul. And dear sister, we are all like Paul in that we all desperately need his grace! Our flesh is weak and sinful and desires to master us. You see, if we had the power to live righteously and perfectly on our own, then we wouldn’t so desperately need a Savior. Then the whole point of Jesus’ death and resurrection would be null and void. But as Romans 8:3 says, “what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled…”. We can never, by our own weak nature, be perfect enough to please God. But the good news is that we don’t have to: Jesus fulfilled that righteous requirement for us when he took all our sins upon himself on the cross. It was graciously given to us, even though we don’t deserve it.

​The key to receiving this wonderful grace is that we have to admit that we need it to begin with. James 4:6 says that “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” It’s hard sometimes to face our own faults and mistakes without feeling like total failures in life. However, our weaknesses shouldn’t be a source of frustration and shame, but should serve as a stark contrast to God’s perfectness and strength, thereby drawing us back to Him. So, my sister, the next time life reminds us of our mistakes and we start to feel like Miss Imperfect, let’s use it as an opportunity to remember God’s sufficient grace, for it is more than enough to cover all our faults and failures. We may not be perfect but that’s okay, because we serve a God who is!

​Your grace-filled sister in Christ,
​~ Lauren Titcomb

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It’s Just Not Fair

My Dearest Sister,

​”Life isn’t fair.”

​I can’t tell you how many times I heard that phrase said to me when I was growing up. From parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, teachers, you name it. Any time I complained because another kid seemed to have it better than me, any time I got angry because I had to do some boring chore that no one else possibly had to do, and any time I uttered the words “It’s not fair!”, that phrase seemed to be the appropriate response. And as hard of a pill as that is for an eight-year-old to swallow, it’s true. Life really is not fair sometimes. The worst part is, it can be more unfair to some than it is to others. Sure, we will all have suffering and pain, Jesus promised us that (John 16:33). But we each suffer in different ways at different times in our lives. Sometimes we suffer in ways we deserve; We call those consequences. Other times though, we suffer in ways that are so wrongful and unjust that we can’t help but ask the question “Lord… Why?”

​The topic of suffering has weighed heavy on my heart this past week. You see, last week an Army wife friend of mine lost her dear husband, a hero and defender of our nation’s freedom. His helicopter was shot down on his first deployment to Afghanistan, just a few short months after graduating flight school. Today, she will stand alongside their family and friends and bury her beloved; today, she will have to say goodbye. And then somehow she will have to continue on in this life. She is now the widow of a fallen soldier and a single mother of two young boys. Her sons will have to grow up without ever really knowing their earthly father; never waving goodbye to him on their first day of school, never playing catch with him in the yard, never being taught by him how to shave; the youngest, who is only eight months old, will never even get to smile up at him with pride as he takes his first steps or says his first words. Though his memory will live on in those who loved him, he has gone to be with Jesus, even if it does seem too soon. It is at times like these that I can only ask, “Lord, why?” Why would God allow so much suffering to come upon this sweet and faithful little family? It just isn’t fair.

​I have heard many people say that if God really loved us, He wouldn’t allow suffering and pain to come upon innocent and undeserving people. Maybe you have encountered someone in your life that thinks this way. This concept of wrongful suffering is such a stumbling block to them that they want nothing to do with God whatsoever, believing Him to be this big bully in the sky who just stands by and lets bad things happen to us, who just watches us stumble and fall. Oh, sister, how misled they are! The truth about suffering is that it is just yet another symptom of the disease of sin in this fallen world. Ever since Adam and Eve were banished from the garden, sorrow and hardships have been a regular part of life. All over the world people suffer wrongfully, on a daily basis: Women are beaten. Girls are sold as sex slaves. Children starve. Young husbands and fathers die. This suffering is not always deserved or fair and some will experience more than others, but it is there because of man’s sin, not for a lack of God’s love.

​Quite the opposite in fact, for His love provides a treatment for suffering. The Bible says that the Lord tends to the brokenhearted and sorrowful (Psalm 34:18), healing deep wounds that no one else can even touch. Our Mighty Father gives power to the weak, to those who cannot stand in their own strength (Isaiah 40:29). He comforts us in our tribulation so that we may in turn comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). We may not always understand why some endure such wrongful suffering in their life, but the love of Christ that has been freely given to us surpasses all of our understanding (Ephesians 3:19). He is the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, and oh, how He loves us and wants to make us whole! All we have to do is reach out our arms and let Him lift us up out of our sorrow.

​Just as God’s comfort is the treatment for suffering here on earth, Christ’s return is the complete cure. In Revelation 21:4, God promises of a time where suffering will be a thing of the past: “’And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there will be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.’ Then He who sat on the throne said, ‘Behold, I make all things new.’” Yes dear friend, we will suffer in this world, that much is true; but praise the Lord it is only temporary! There is coming a day when this bitterness will pass away and all things will be new in Christ. My friend will see her husband again, not in this wretched world where suffering abounds, but in a place where we will worship the Risen King in all His glory. No more heartache. No more pain. God himself will wipe away our tears as He welcomes us into His new kingdom. Take heart my sister, for this is our promise and our hope in Him, both now and forevermore!

​Your hopeful sister in Christ,
Lauren
​

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Wake Up!!

My Dearest Sister,

​My original plan in writing this letter to you was to encourage you in the many ways in which we, as daughters of the Most High King, can show kindness to others. However, as I was seeking out the Scriptures, inquiring about the importance of being kind to our fellow man, God began pointing me in a different direction. Almost all of the verses I came across were in reference to God’s kindness toward us, not our kindness toward others. It was then that I realized I had been looking in the wrong place. How can we even begin to understand how to be kind to others if we don’t first look at the One who has shown the most kindness of all?

​For starters, we need to understand that the Lord’s kindness is eternal. Although some of us are better at being kind than others, everyone has those times when our abilities fail us. We fight it, but the flesh wins, and we end up saying or doing something we shouldn’t – something that certainly isn’t the kindness we want people to see. But you know what’s neat? That whole process never happens to God. In Isaiah 54:10, the Lord says “For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but My kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace be removed.” Our whole world can turn upside down, and yet His kindness toward His children will remain constant, never to be taken away.

​Secondly, even in His anger the Lord does not remove His bountiful mercies from our reach: “With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment; But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you” (Isaiah 54:8). I don’t know about you, but I can’t even count how many times I have been harsh or even spitefully mean to someone because I was angry with them. In all honesty, it feels good to lash out at someone when we’re mad – at first; then we feel angry and guilty. When the Lord is angry He may hide His face from us for a while, but it’s for our own good, not His personal satisfaction (Trust me, you would be worse off if He openly showed His anger to you). In the end, His kindness prevails.

​Thirdly, in Luke Chapter 6, we see that God’s kindness is not conditional. Thank goodness, otherwise we would fall miserably short of receiving any. In verse 35, Jesus calls His followers to love their enemies, to do good, and lend selflessly, just as God “is kind to the unthankful and evil.” Kind to the unthankful and evil? I have a hard enough time being nice to the jerk who cuts me off in traffic or to the fast-food employee who is rude to me as I pay for my lunch. You know, it’s funny how often our kindness towards one another is directly related to how much we get in return. After all, it’s easy to do good to those who do good to us; Even sinners do that (v.33). The real challenge however, is when we are called to be kind to someone who doesn’t give you that warm, fuzzy feeling inside, but rather that stone-cold, slimy one. Not an easy task when you think about it. Often times our first instinct is to turn our backs on those kinds of people and not have to put up with them. Thank goodness God doesn’t treat us that way!

​The last and perhaps most significant word on kindness I found was in 2 Peter 1:5-8 where Christians are instructed on what fruitful growth in the Faith looks like. Peter says “But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” I don’t know about you, but I was amazed as I read this. I had never before thought of kindness as the link to love, but its true. We can have all these other things (faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, and godliness) but if we do not have a brotherly kindness, we miss the boat completely in showing love, which the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:13 deems our greatest calling in this life.

​Surely, how can we expect others to see the love of Christ working through us if we don’t even care enough to be kind when its not convenient or beneficial to ourselves? When we don’t even give a second thought to showing kindness to that homeless man on the park bench or that elderly woman living out her last lonely years in a group home? We can’t even start at the most basic level and then we are challenged with being kind to even the unthankful and evil among us? To the people who make us angry and don’t deserve our compassion or sympathy? Houston, we have a problem! And yet even in the midst of all of our selfishness and shortcomings, God showers His eternal kindness upon us. How amazing is that?

​So you see, my sister, we have to first look at how great God’s kindness is toward us before we can even begin to understand the full meaning of the word. According to Him, kindness means showing mercy to our enemies, reaching out to the unreachable, and giving freely to the undeserving; It means putting away our own anger and selfish desires, and treating everyone as we would a brother or sister. Showing true ‘brotherly kindness’ requires letting the Holy Spirit work through us and also having an awareness for opportunities to show it. I don’t know about you, but I am tired of passing people on the street every day and not taking the time to show them a little genuine concern because it’s just not convenient or important to me. If God’s kindness toward us is so great, how can we stand to not share it? It’s time to stop sleepwalking our way through life and start seeing others the way God sees them: as people in need of His great and eternal loving-kindness. It’s time, sister, to wake up!

​Your Sister in Christ,
​~ Lauren

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Learning to Let It Go

My Dearest Sister,

It’s happened again, hasn’t it? A particular person in your life has sinned against you – and it’s definitely not the first time. You try to fight the desire for vindication rising up in you, but in the end you just can’t ignore its stubborn little voice: “You’ve already dealt with this before, too many times. You always forgive [insert name here], but this just keeps happening. Really, what’s the point anymore?” And then you cross your arms, stick your chin out and say “Not anymore!”. Sadly, sister, this is something that I can relate with all too well. I have been told on more than one occasion that I have a “tender heart” (translation: “breaks easily”). When someone offends me, I usually have a hard time letting it go. Let’s face it: Forgiveness isn’t something that comes naturally to anyone. When someone hurts us, we want them to get what they deserve, don’t we? If only they could feel a little bit of the pain they’ve cause us, then maybe they would learn their lesson; Maybe then they would understand.

However, when Peter asked the Lord how many times we should forgive a brother who sins against us, Jesus replied, “Up to seventy times seven.” That’s 490 times! I certainly hope that you never have to forgive somebody on that many separate occasions, but Jesus gave us a big number to make the point that we are to forgive our brother or sister in Christ as many times as they sin against us; as many times as it takes. It was not until I was an adult that God really began teaching me this lesson. I remember thinking, “But Lord, this is the same sin that they committed just two days ago! How am I supposed to forgive them when I am still so hurt, when my heart is still raw?” And just as those words had formed in my mind, I heard the Lord’s voice in my heart: “But I have forgiven you unto everlasting life and my mercies are new each morning.” Whoa! Talk about humbling! I had never considered that what I was feeling must only be a tiny fraction of what God feels. We sin against Him daily, yet He is always there with open arms, just waiting to shower us with His limitless forgiveness. So how can I, as a forgiven sinner washed clean by the blood of Christ, be so stingy with my own forgiveness towards my brethren who have received the same absolution from sin that I have?

Jesus talks about this attitude of ours towards forgiveness in Matthew, Chapter 18 through the parable of the unforgiving servant. You remember the story: a king forgives a servant who owed him 10,000 talents (roughly 150,000 years worth of wages) and surprise – couldn’t pay his debts. Then this same man finds a fellow servant who owed him just 100 denari (about 100 days wages) and demands payment, refusing to hear the man’s pleas for mercy. The king then confronts the man whom he had first pardoned, saying “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?” Then the king delivers the servant to the torturers until he can pay all that is owed. “So my heavenly Father will also do to you,” Jesus concludes, “if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”

Do you know those old iron ball and chains that prisoners in Saturday morning cartoons used to wear? Anywhere they went, they had to drag that heavy weight behind them. That’s what un-forgiveness is like. When you think about it, it’s pretty hard to do anything for Christ with a deadweight shackled to our ankles. Even in my youth, I have spent too many years dragging around that ball and chain. Not only does it make us weary and bitter, but it also separates us from open communion with God. Mark 11:25-26 tells us that if we “have anything against anyone, forgive him that your Father in heaven may also forgive your trespasses.” There is no way around it, my dear friend: We cannot stand before God with the prison weight of un-forgiveness strapped to us. And I ask you, what is more torturous to a Christian than being distant from the Lord? Whether it is their first or five-hundredth offense, we must be able to let the sins of others go and wipe the slate clean; Otherwise, it becomes our own personal burden to bear.

~Your Sister,

Lauren