Author: Lauren Titcomb

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Goodness In Every Season

My Dearest Sister,

As I sit in the field behind my apartment and enjoy the beautiful New York summer afternoon, I cannot help but reflect on the wonder of God’s creation. The songbirds chirp softly to each other as a honey bee darts from the Queen Anne’s Lace to a cluster of dandelions near where I am relaxing in the warm sunlight. There is a light breeze that washes over everything, making the cattail reeds dance and the trees whisper. I am reminded of the passage in Genesis where God finishes each of His creations by calling it good. Surely on a day like this, it would be impossible to disagree with such a conclusion. However I know in about six months this landscape will look completely different. When the flowers, birds, and sunshine have all been replaced by bare trees, gray skies, and three feet of snow on the ground, will I still be praising His creation? Honestly, probably not as readily as I am right now.
In our daily lives, our praise to God seems to work in a similar manner. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to thank God for His goodness when things are going just the way you wanted? When our family is healthy, our home is happy, and our relationships are blossoming, it seems so natural to have an attitude of thankfulness. However, when the storms of life roll in and all we can see is gray skies, that thankful demeanor tends to change. Maybe we receive bad news about a loved one, are facing challenges at work or in our marriage, or maybe we are just going through a season of spiritual dryness, a “wintertime” of the soul. Whatever the trial may be, praising God for His goodness is often the last thing on our mind.
But it shouldn’t be that way, dear sister. Even in the times when we seem to be caught up in a harsh winter season of life, we can trust in the Lord’s goodness toward us. Romans 8:28 says that “All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” All things, not just those that make us happy and joyful. Sometimes it’s hard to imagine how those storms and struggles could be a part of God’s design for our life. For example, if you had told me five years ago that today I would be married to a man in the Army, living over a thousand miles away from all my family, and still haven’t finished college, I would have said you were crazy. That’s not the plan I had mapped out for myself at all. However, as verse 28 says, this goodness is ultimately for His purpose. God’s ways are not our ways so His plan for our good sometimes includes challenges filled with sadness, disappointment, frustration, or loneliness. But that should be okay with us because you know what? Even those storms have a place in God’s good design for us. The last five years have proven that to me because I can see how each unforeseen struggle has brought me to a closer, more intimate relationship with Him.
The best thing about this goodness, sister, is that it will never fail us, for it lies at the very core of who God is. His mercy, compassion, lovingkindness, patience – all the things that make Him Lord – are directly related to the fact that He is inherently good. It sets Him apart from every other being in the universe, making Him alone holy and worthy to be praised. The ultimate evidence of this goodness is shown in His blessed gift of salvation. Who else could love a sinful, wicked people enough to send His only precious Son to die an excruciating, humiliating death so that they could spend eternity with Him? My dear friend, we can never overestimate the goodness of the Lord. I don’t think we will even really understand it in its entirety until we meet Him face to face. But one thing is for sure: we can trust in His goodness always, because nothing, not even the darkest, coldest winters of our life, can take away this assurance we have of His eternal grace toward us. So let’s praise God in every season of life and beyond for His dependable goodness!

“Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations.” – Psalm 100:4-5

In His love,
~ Lauren

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The Biblical Design For Marriage

​My Dearest Sister,

​In just a couple weeks Isaac and I will celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary. Looking back on our years together, I can honestly say that they have been the happiest of my life so far; However, I am not going to tell you that it has all been a perfect, fairy-tale romance. In those four years, there have been many arguments, tearful nights, and hurtful words spoken in anger, followed by a lot of bitterness and resentment. I actually remember a specific point a few months after the wedding where I was faced with the stark realization that my husband was not even close to the perfect person I had made him out to be (he is human, after all). I watched my own expectations of marriage crumble before me and felt disappointed, even a little bit heartbroken. I wondered how things could end up like this so quickly and why no one told me what married life was really like. What happened to the happily-ever-after part I was expecting? Maybe you can relate to this because like me, you’ve been there; Maybe you are even there right now.

What I didn’t realize until much later is that no marriage can truly blossom when it is rooted in our own expectations. Thanks to our human nature, we will all make mistakes and fall short of these expectations. Our flesh is so very wicked and, if given the chance, will fail us at every turn. That’s why it’s so important to live by God’s expectations for our marriage, not our own. His design for marriage, outlined in Ephesians 5:22-33, is unique in that He expects just one thing from us in regards to how we treat our spouses: 1) Wives are to humbly submit to their husbands leadership just as the church submits to Christ and 2) Husbands are to sacrificially love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. These two marital rules are so very important because they each speak to the deepest need of the other person. Why do you think we love those sappy, romantic comedies while our masculine counterparts love their action and war films where the hero saves the day? Because women need to feel loved and men need to feel respected.

​With each spouse only having just one simple command to follow – wives submit, husbands love – you would think it would be easy to get a handle on our marriages. However, there is a major challenge to overcome. You see, even though a man communicates best in terms of respect and authority, he is called to express tender love toward his wife. In the same way, a woman communicates best in terms of love but is called to honor and show submission to her husband. We are each commanded to perform what is less natural to us, but at the same time means more to other person. That is why marriage is so hard! It demands that we step out of our comfort zone, away from what is familiar, and instead focus on what the other person needs. It is the very essence of selflessness, something our flesh deeply struggles with.

​We know that we cannot overcome such selfishness on our own for as Jesus said, our spirits are willing but our flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41). It is only by seeking the Lord first in our marriage that we are able to fully grasp the instruction Ephesians 5 gives us. As wives, it is by submitting to Christ in every area of our lives that we learn to submit to a husband who doesn’t always get things right the first time. In the same way, when a husband fully grasps the love that Christ had in giving Himself for our cleansing and sanctification, he can then replicate that same love toward a wife who doesn’t always respect his authority. So the closer and more intimate our relationship with Christ is, the closer and more intimate our relationship with our spouse can be as well. Isn’t the Biblical dynamic of marriage remarkable in its design for our sanctification?

​The truly amazing thing is that it doesn’t stop there with just the husband, the wife, and God. No, it is much more powerful than that! You see, when both parties heed the instruction in these 11 verses, they are exemplifying to everyone around them the bonded, loving relationship of Christ and the church. Paul calls this Christ/church relationship “a great mystery” (v. 32). Indeed, it is hard to understand how Jesus could love us enough to lay down His own life so that we may be cleansed and sanctified; It is also hard to understand how we could submit to the leadership of a Savior whom we have never even met. And yet this mysterious covenant between Christ and the church is portrayed so beautifully here on earth through the covenant of marriage. The ultimate purpose of marriage then is not for us at all, but for God’s own glory.

​Knowing this, it is not surprising that the covenant of marriage is under such heavy attack from the enemy. By destroying the one earthly relationship that points directly to the gospel, a very powerful testimony is being taken away from the kingdom of God. That is why it is so important, sister, to heed the instruction that has been given to us as husbands and wives. For us this means submitting first to Christ’s leadership in every area of our lives and then submitting to the leadership of our husbands, even when they don’t deserve it. Let’s lay aside our own expectations and selfish desires, and instead focus on how to serve God within the realm of our marriage. Not only will it create a stronger, more loving relationship between us and our spouses, but it may just be the greatest ministry to which we will ever be called.

​Grace, mercy, and peace to you my lovely sister,
​~ Lauren
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Wholehearted Devotion

My Dearest Sister,

​Recently, according to my daily Bible reading plan, I have been going through the books of Kings and Chronicles. I didn’t have to read for very long before I started to become disheartened at the rapid falling away of the children of Israel from worshipping the Lord. It seemed that king after king, of this chosen nation of God became more and more corrupt, even splitting at one point into the two separate kingdoms of Israel and Judah. To be honest, it reminded me of the way much of society today has fallen away from serving the Lord, dividing ourselves over an endless array of issues. And seeing as most of these accounts are told twice throughout these four books, it was even doubly depressing. That is, until I came to the story of Josiah in 2 Kings 22-23 and 2 Chronicles 34-35.
​Josiah was one of the youngest kings in Israel’s history, taking the throne when he was just eight years old. Unlike his fathers before him, Josiah walked in the ways of the Lord and “did not turn aside to the right hand or the left” (2 Kings 22:2). This unwavering adherence to the commands of God sparked an incredible change in Israel during his reign. In an effort to bring the people back to worshipping the Lord, Josiah began to purge the land of Israel of everything displeasing in God’s eyes: He removed the pagan worship articles from the temple, burned down all the images of other gods, destroyed the pagan altars, defiled their high places of worship (including the ones where they had been sacrificing their children to foreign gods), and put to death all the corrupt priests. He was ruthless in his obedience to God, removing every sinful thing that prevented him from performing the words of the law passed down by Moses (2 Kings 23:24). I was immediately fascinated and inspired by this young King of Judah who showed such heartfelt steadfastness to following the Lord and bringing Him glory.
​The story of Josiah got me thinking about what such wholehearted devotion to God actually requires of us in relation to our world today. To be able to follow the Lord in everything we do, we must possess an unwavering determination, even when it means the work will be hard or we will be going against the grain. I’m sure there were times when it would have have been a lot easier for Josiah to give up and just go with the flow of the pagan culture surrounding him, especially considering both the generations before and after him did just that. However, he chose to stand resolute in his faithfulness to the Lord and we are called to do the same. Some might call it stubborn or close-minded, but we know it by its rightful name: steadfastness. We also know from Josiah’s example that it requires us to put away anything and everything in our lives that prevents us from following the Lord. Now, I doubt that you or I will ever have to execute a pagan priest or burn down the statue of a foreign god, but there are times when we will have to remove things in our lives that are sinful in the Lord’s eyes, things that are distracting us and keeping us from following Him wholeheartedly. Sometimes this means we have to make difficult choices, to separate ourselves from people we care about, to change our lifestyles and habits, or give up things things that used to be important to us. Remember, dear friend, Jesus’ words in Matthew chapter five: Better with one eye and one hand in the presence of the Lord than two eyes and two hands stumbling in darkness.
​I’m not going to sugar coat it for you, having to remove a hand or eye – even a figurative one – is painful and certainly takes some courage! But God never promised that standing steadfast in His name would be easy. In fact, we know from the many examples in scripture that it is usually the opposite. Even so, sister, I want to reassure you that when we make such a stand it does not come back void. Not only did Josiah receive a blessing for his tender heart and humility before the Lord (2 Kings 22:19-20), he also became a beacon of God’s truth to the entire nation. His own personal covenant before the Lord, to follow Him with all his heart and soul, became an example to the people of Israel. As a result, in all of Josiah’s days “they did not depart from following the Lord God of their fathers” (2 Chronicles 34:33). Now, you and I may not have such a large influence as Josiah did – he was the king, after all – but rest assured, there are people watching how we live our lives. Whether it’s our spouse, our children, our parents or siblings, a neighbor, a friend, a co-worker or even a complete stranger, those around us will be able to tell if we are standing strong in our faith or if we are falling aside to the right and the left with every challenge that rolls our way.
​Because of his steadfast devotion to God, the Bible distinguishes Josiah from all the other rulers of his time, saying that “before him there was no king like him who turned to the Lord with all his heart, with all his soul, and with all his might, according to all the law of Moses; nor after him did any arise like him” (2 Kings 23:25). Some people today might call his zealousness ‘extreme’ or ‘over the top’, but I believe that Josiah knew exactly how important it was to not let anything stand between him and God. He knew that to be steadfast in following the Lord meant not turning aside to sin or other distractions, and always striving to bring Him the glory. Is that something we can say of ourselves, dear sister? Do we really turn to the Lord with all our heart, soul, and strength? Come, let us put away every sin, distraction, and stumbling block that is standing between us and God. Let us be so bold as to live our lives with an unwavering, passionate steadfastness for the Lord, ready and willing to be used for His purposes and His glory.

​“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.”
​- 1 Corinthians 15:58

Grace and peace be with you always,​

~ Lauren​

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A Divine Calling

  • My Dearest Sister,

​I am very happy to share with you that this October, I will be initiated into one of the largest yet most exclusive of womanly clubs: Motherhood. As I sit here and look down at the little belly that I know will get much bigger over the next few months, I am excited, nervous and overwhelmed with joy all at the same time. While I cannot wait to meet our little one for the first time and experience all the wonderful “firsts” of motherhood, there are so many questions I have, so many concerns about whether or not I will be a good parent. I’ve struggled with my self-worth in other areas, so I am concerned about how it will play out in the arena of motherhood. What if I don’t feel like being a wife and mother is enough for me? Will I find great joy and satisfaction in raising this child or will I feel a longing for something else, a desperation for something “more”?

​Unfortunately in today’s world, there are many women who are looked down upon or even ridiculed for their choice to stay at home and raise their children instead of pursuing other interests, namely a career. Motherhood in the traditional sense has become this outdated, archaic ritual that women no longer should have to subject themselves to day in and day out. After all, why would any woman want to stay at home doing load after load of laundry, cleaning a house that always seems to be dirty, and chasing after a bunch of screaming, rambunctious children when instead they could find someone else to do those menial tasks while they go enjoy a job – and subsequently a life – of their own? Granted, some women have to work because of divorce or other financial needs; However, I think it is incredibly sad that there is a such a stigma on being  “just a housewife” that many women choose to give up those precious years with their kids to chase after their own self-fulfillment elsewhere. So why is it that when I fill out the employment section of any form and write the words “homemaker,” I cringe just a little bit on the inside? You see, this cultural standard of striving after success outside the home is so pervasive that women, even believers in the faith who know better, struggle with finding a purpose in their work as a full-time mother. I struggle with it and my child isn’t even born yet!

​Fortunately, we can avoid falling victim to this pattern of thinking by knowing that looking to society is not the place to find the right answers. Instead, let’s see what God has to say on the matter: In Titus 2:4-5, we find Paul’s instruction to the younger women in the church, that they are “to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands.” Sounds almost the opposite of what our 21st century culture teaches, doesn’t it? In these verses Paul is admonishing mothers to be a source of love for their families, diligent keepers of their home, and obedient to their husbands, all while being kind, virtuous, and wise in both word and deed. “Just a housewife,” indeed! I don’t know of any paying job that requires the level of personal effort Paul outlines here. Similarly, Proverbs 31:10-31 goes on and on about the qualifications of a virtuous wife and let me tell you, they are not easy in the least. But verse 28 of that chapter says that the children of such a woman “rise up and call her blessed” and that her husband “praises her” for her excellence among women. And most importantly, verse 30 says that this kind of wife and mother, is “a woman who fears the Lord” and that “she shall be praised.” Why then, should we care what society thinks about those of us who embrace motherhood as the purpose to which our Lord has called us? After all, if we are blessed by our children and husbands, and praised by God for doing so, there is no one else to which we should have to prove our self-worth.

​Finally, let’s examine the overall reason God calls mothers to live in such a selfless and righteous way. Yes, a family will benefit greatly from having such a wonderful wife and mother, but in Titus 2:5 Paul says that this list of lifestyle guidelines for women is all for a single purpose: “that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” So motherhood then, is not about how clean our home is, how delicious the dinner we made was, or even how well-behaved our kids are. In fact, it’s not about us at all; It is solely and completely about bringing glory to God. If a stranger can observe how you run your home, handle your children, and respond to your husband, and then say without hesitation “Wow, that is a God-fearing woman!” then you have done exactly as He has commanded. Everything else that comes with it is just icing on the cake.

​If that’s not enough to convince you that your job as a mother is truly a divine task, Psalm 139:13-16 is a great reminder of just how important our kids really are. These verses say that it is God Himself who forms our children in the womb, that they are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him; He knows them so intimately that He has written down all of their days, even before they began. And then these beautiful little beings that our heavenly Father has created are entrusted to us, so that we may nurture, love, and raise them in the knowledge of the Lord. I am overwhelmed with such gratitude and humility that God has given me (sinful, imperfect, faltering me!) the immense task of caring for His very own personal creation. This, my lovely sister, is precisely why motherhood is such a high calling. It is self-sacrifice, bathed in humility, all done to the glory and service of our Lord, and is one of the greatest privileges will ever have on this earth. So the next time you start to question the value of everything you’re doing as a mother, know that you are deeply important to God’s plan and are right where He wants you to be. Don’t let anyone – society, friends, family, or even yourself – try to convince you otherwise.

​Grace, mercy, and peace to you my sweet sister,
​~ Lauren Titcomb
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Enter into the Joy of the Lord

My Dearest Sister,

​If you watch the news, listen to the radio, or read the paper, then you know it is impossible to get very far without finding out about some horrendous act of violence, terrible accident, or unfortunate set of events. These stories never cease to shock and sadden us and so often they seem to come faster than we can even process them: Bombings, building explosions, homicides, kidnappings, school shootings, horrific car crashes. It is impossible to hear of such things without feeling some of the devastation, sadness, and fear that have gripped the lives of those involved. As a result, these stories are so often a reminder of the frailty of life, of how suddenly we can have our families, our homes, our security, and even our very happiness ripped from our grasp in one tragic moment. So how do we, dear sister, approach the topic of joy in the light of all the sorrow around us? If everything we have in this world can be taken away in a split second, as these stories and even some of our own lives have testified, how is it possible to have any lasting joy at all?

​The answer to that question lies in the source of our joy. Most of us in this world have at least some measure of happiness invested in our earthly circumstances, and as we should, for I do believe that God wants us to enjoy the blessings He has given us. However, we know that all things in this world will one day come to an end, meaning that any joy tied to this world will end as well. The only way we can have true and lasting joy then, my beloved sister, is when the main source of our joy does not come from this world, but from the promise we have in Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:3-4 assures us of this promise, saying we have an eternal future with our Savior, one that is “incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away”. Peter continues on in verses 6 and 7: “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith… tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” You see, God knew we were going to have hardships and suffering in this life; But He also instructs us through Peter to rejoice that these trials are temporary and instead we have an eternal, undefiled inheritance in Him to look forward to.

​Jesus Himself says we will not be strangers to sadness while waiting for His return, but also tells us that the joy that is to come will outweigh any heartache we will experience on this earth: “Most assuredly, I say to you that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; and you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy. A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has born into the world. Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you.” (John 16:20-22).

I don’t know about you, but words cannot express the hope that fills me when I read that promise! Not only does Jesus intimately know my sorrows but He also has given me the assurance of that sorrow being quickly changed to joy when I see Him for the first time. And furthermore, He has promised me that no one can take that joy away; It is permanent and will not fade for all eternity. The hope we have for this joy is what keeps us going, through all the trials, all the pain, and all the sadness we will experience on this earth.

​So you see, my sister, suffering and joy are inextricably tied together. We cannot experience the joy Christ has set aside for us without going through the fiery trials. Indeed, it is the sorrow and the sadness that actually cause us to look forward to this unfading joy with such steadfast hope. If we had nothing but an easy life filled only with happiness, then the promise of eternal joy would not have nearly the same impact. Therefore, we have every reason to rejoice in the face of our earthly trials, knowing that they will one day be replaced by more happiness than we can possibly imagine. My response then, to the earlier question of how we have lasting joy in a world of strife and sadness is this: We have had it all along! This permanent, unfading joy has already been promised to us as believers; That’s the beauty of God’s plan for us. Yes, we will still experience sorrow and pain in this life, but the hope we have in the joy that is to come is ours to hold on to. No one can take it away from us.

​With this promise of eternal joy in our hearts, we can stand strong in our faith no matter what sorrows, tragedies, or horrific trials befall us. Know, dear sister, that this kind of resolute faith is powerful. It is how Jesus’ disciples and followers were able to go preach the Word, bearing up under the weight of ridicule, tortures, and even death. Because of his faith in the joy to come, the apostle Paul was able to sing praises to the Lord while shackled in dark and gloomy cells. And every martyr, minister, and missionary throughout the world has been able to face the daily threats, dangers, and persecutions for the same reason: They all lived every day on this earth in the light of their eternal future, always focusing on the joy that was set before them.

​My final question to you is this: If we had the same grasp on the lasting joy that is to come, what would we do differently? Maybe we would live each day a little more for the glory of God and a little less for ourselves; Maybe we would stop caring so much about what other people might think or do if they didn’t agree with our faith; Maybe, just maybe, we would be able to share our hope for lasting joy in Christ Jesus with someone who has none at all. Don’t be discouraged, my lovely sister, by the sorrows and troubles of this world, for we know they are temporary. Instead, live today and every day in the light of your eternal future, always looking unto the joy that has been set before you in the Lord.

​Grace to you and peace from God the Father and ​Jesus Christ our Lord.

​Your sister and friend,
​~ Lauren Titcomb