Author: Colleen Craig

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Loneliness Birds

Dear Sister,
Adam and Eve felt it. Noah felt it. Job definitely felt it. Poor Jeremiah felt it too. Loneliness. Adam and Eve felt it after that first bite of forbidden fruit, the close fellowship they had with the Lord was gone. Noah built the first boat for the first rain to the decades of jeers from family, friends, and strangers. Job lost every creature comfort in a matter of days (except for his complaining wife) oblivious to the heavenly battle brewing above. Jeremiah was put in a cistern, cooked over feces, and was even put in an oxen yoke as he followed the Lord.

Me? I felt it as a scrawny, curly redheaded, braces clad, and bifocaled girl who never quite fit in with any crowd. I felt it when tumultuous times came and I had no safe person to confide in or run to for help. Loneliness birds hover when my husband deploys…again. How about you? What makes you feel loneliness…that tight ache in your belly and heart that twists and pounds for comfort and understanding from a friend? Do you ever feel alone in a crowded room? Stay there for a second…what are we really longing?

The Lord, Creator of us and the entire Universe, made us to long for fellowship. We were created to long for Him and for other humans. Just look at Adam! He had a perfect world and relationship with God yet God said that it was not good for him to be alone…and He created Eve. A helper. A friend. A fellow sojourner. When we don’t have either of these relationships, loneliness birds begin to hover. We long for sweet fellowship to shush them away. We are lonely.

Loneliness in itself is not a sin. It is a feeling and emotion that Adam, Eve, Noah, Job, Jeremiah, and many fellow believers have felt (and feel)…in fact, Jesus felt it in the garden when His closest friends fell asleep on Him in is most desperate hour. He felt it on the cross when the Father poured His wrath on Him. Yet there is a difference in how we as believers respond to loneliness and how the world responds.

The world often tells us to turn inward. Get a cup of coffee, take these pills, go shopping, be independent and do life for yourself. Oh the lie!! Scripture tells us to turn outward! Look to the Lord! Cry out to Him! Serve others! Grab a Starbucks…but take a friend with you, or pay for the person behind you. Jesus died on the cross to restore the relationship with God that was lost in the garden. Our sin was paid for there! Completely! Now we have access to the Father through Him! We have fellowship with the same God that walked with Adam, Noah, Job, and Jeremiah! Wow!! We are never separated from God again after we trust in Christ! No more loneliness birds! Ever! Yet we forget. That’s when our fellowship with believers is so crucial! Embed yourself sweet sister into your local church. Lean into your brothers and sisters in Christ when you feel alone. They are there to remind you of what you have in Christ. They are there to hold up your arms to fight loneliness when your strength is gone. Don’t turn inward, turn outward!
One last thing…if your own loneliness birds have flown the coop…look around, who needs your fellowship and help to make their birds fly?

Your Sister in Christ,
Colleen

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Red Hair and Roses

Dear Sister,

I have red hair.  I don’t think about having red hair as I’ve had it since I was born.  Every once in awhile someone will comment on it making me appreciate the gift the Lord has given me.  I am sure that you have something similar in your own life that you may take for granted because of its constant nature.  In fact, how often do I walk past a bed of flowers and take a minute to take in the wonder of the delicate details?  How often do I ponder what to eat for dinner forgetting to be thankful that I am blessed to eat dinner?  Not only do I eat dinner, but I can have Indian, Mexican, Thai, American, Italian, or McDonald’s!  The Lord has given us variety in His creation from plants, to animals, to landscapes, to faces!  We don’t eat just manna, we don’t only sit on rocks, there is more than one color, there is more than one climate!  We can taste, feel, see, hear, and touch our environment!  WOW!  Psalm 33:5 declares that “the earth is full of the goodness of the Lord”.

Why is this?  Genesis chapter 1 tells us that the Lord created all of the heavens and the earth and declared them GOOD.  He is the author of goodness.  He is the definition of goodness.  And yet, since we experience His goodness on a daily basis…since it is so constant and abundant…we esteem it lightly.  Sister, this should not be.

Our Lord is good in another way that I often take for granted: Genesis 3 reports to us the beginning of the curse of the earth.  Sin entered when Adam did not trust that the Lord was good when the Lord told him not to eat of that one tree.  He believed the serpent was right and God was withholding a good thing.  From that point on the earth has been cursed and death cannot be avoided.  Yet even in this, God is good.  The first time we ever commit sin, we deserve death.  Yet the Lord in His goodness delays this punishment.  We live and breathe another day.  We receive another chance for repentance.  Sister, that is because of the goodness of the Lord.

Lastly, and most shockingly, the Lord’s ultimate goodness was seen not only by not having our sin punished immediately, but putting our punishment on His own perfect son.  Jesus took our punishment for sin and gave us His righteousness.  We are now adopted sons with full inheritance of God’s family!  We have eternal life because our sins have been forgiven!  How often do we dwell on this?  How often does the goodness of the Lord compel you to thank Him and treat others out of this thankfulness?  Do you despise the Lord by forgetting His goodness?

Oh may we not forget His constant and abundant goodness or think it as mundane.  May I thank Him for my red hair while I am also stopping to smell the roses.

Your Sister in Christ,

Colleen

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I Thought I knew it All

Dear Sisters,

I got married weeks before turning 31 years old. I was the token single girl that every married church-going person would sadly ask, “now why aren’t you married?” Oh, the pain that caused. I immediately felt like Christ could never satisfy me or make me a complete woman…that I needed a husband to fulfill some Cinderella dream. Just as I thought I was becoming fully contented in my singleness, I met Barrett: A boisterous, fun-loving, outspoken, life-of-the-party, follower of Christ. We hit it off right away when we realized our end goal matched…to glorify Jesus with our entire life. We married a year later and both finished Seminary with degrees in Biblical Counseling (and he with an added degree in theology). We should have the perfect marriage, right?

It has been six years this week since we married. We have had cold nights, fights, tears, and even showed up at another couple’s house with wet faces and little hope. How can two people who waited so long to get married, find someone with the same goal of glorifying Christ, still “fail” at marriage? We know all the answers. Believe me. We have counseled them to others endlessly. We believe in the biblical view of marriage where the man sacrificially leads the woman as Christ leads the church and the woman submits to her loving husband and respects him. We believe that our main problem is ourselves, our selfish desires and need to control our own and each other’s lives. We also believe that we will never be happy until we find our satisfaction in Christ, not each other, for our joy and happiness. Yet we fight.

Sweet sister, I come to you as one who has failed at finding my joy and delight in Christ in my life and marriage. I still clutch strongly to serve myself and have my way (because of course, it’s the best and most logical). I want Barrett to understand me perfectly all the time and then I would gladly submit to him (how do you like that ultimatum?). We both love Christ and I expect him to do his role perfectly because of how much he loves and serves Christ. Can you see and feel that gross sin? I can. My stomach winces as I write. Even though I know that Barrett is not Christ, I expect him to be because of his strong, bold, faith and role. I twist the biblical truth to fit my selfish ways and give me an excuse not to submit and respect him. I still see marriage as a quid quo pro rather than dying to self.

Barrett has shown me my problem. “I know you love me, I just don’t think you delight in me.” Ouch. It’s so true. I don’t delight in him because my delight is not fully in Christ. If I truly delighted in Christ, that ALL my sins have been forgiven, then how could I not delight in the husband that Jesus gave me? How could I not out-serve him because I have been out-served by Christ? But HOW?!?!

Remember the feel of a crush? How you longed to know that person and would study, stare, and talk to them as much as you could? That’s what I need to do with Jesus. Read His Word, pray to Him, sing to Him, hang out with others that know Him, talk about Him whenever I get the chance. The sweeter Jesus becomes to me, the more satisfied I am in marriage. The sweeter He becomes to you sweet sister, married or not, the more satisfied and happy you will be. His promise, not mine. Pray for me on this journey together. May our marriages and lives be happy because of what we have in Christ, not in what we think we are owed from others.

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The Other Side of Steadfastness

Dear Sister,

Jeremiah the prophet (not the ever-so-popular bullfrog) had a rough life. The Lord told him to prophesy about His own plans for Israel and the nations while never allowing Jeremiah to see them come to be. Yet in the midst of Jeremiah’s darkest times and darkest laments (the book of Lamentations) he writes “the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness (vss. 22-23).” Jeremiah held to the truth he knew about the Lord: That His mercy, goodness, love, and His grace are steadfast. Why did that mean so much to him – and as well to us?

Man, do I love the idea of the Lord’s steadfast love, mercy, and kindness. This love never ends and never changes. But as I was thinking of the steadfastness of the Lord a question pricked my mind. How much of the Lord’s character can be described as steadfast? Is it just his love, mercy, and kindness? I don’t believe so. The Bible teaches that the Lord is the same yesterday, today, and forever…that we can trust He is who He is, the Great I AM. What truly hit me about this is not His love, mercy, and kindness, but the steadfastness of His justice. Why? Because if the Lord was not steadfast in giving justice to sin, then we could never understand or appreciate the steadfastness of His love, mercy, and kindness. To know the wrath that sin deserves spurs me to tell my friends and family about Jesus and the hope of the cross. To know the wrath my sin deserves spurs me to seek forgiveness and repentance before a holy God.

Sweet sister, don’t just stop and chew the steadfast love, mercy, and kindness of the Lord for comfort, go deeper. Like Jeremiah, remember the steadfast justice of the Lord and where that leads those that do not trust Jesus as their Savior and hope. Remember the steadfast justice of the Lord and seek His repentance in your own life. Then like Jeremiah, the full realization of the Lord’s steadfast character will not only give you rest and comfort, it will spur you on to do the hard things the Lord calls you to do. Pray I will do the same.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen

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The Sanctity of Motherhood

Dear sister,

What comes to your mind when you read “motherhood”? Your mom? Your best friend’s mom? The mom with the screaming kid at the park or grocery store? Sleepless nights? A good day being one where you actually get out of your PJ’s and into the shower? I actually asked my husband, some friends and my 12 year old niece this very questions. None of their answers were the same. Interesting.

My husband talked about how he was impacted by a professor who said believers find great stability, comfort, love, and protection in the tightly harmonious relationship of the Trinity. Believers know the Father, Son, and Spirit deeply love each other and that we can never come between them. He then tied it to parenting, in that to be a good parent is to have an unbreakable, loving, joyful marriage in the Lord for the child to see, to find protection, love, and comfort in. My husband then remarked how many women separate being a mother from being a wife and that being a good mother in many ways begins by being a good wife who fights a for healthy marriage that glorifies the Lord. I really think this is true, but I also know many Godly mothers that do not have a husband who serves the Lord or a husband at all.

My niece then said motherhood makes her think of discipline, cooking, cleaning, teaching, and being willing to apologize to her children when she fails. I think there is a ring of truth in this as well. I find this true in both my mom’s and in my life. Yet there are good moms who have to work and have outside help for these tasks and chores.

I love what my friend wrote because you feel the incessant thoughts that every mom has:

Motherhood is a broad subject. The first verse that popped into my mind was John 15:13: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” I think I’ve told you how I would remember that verse when I was wiping pee off the toilet and doing the same tasks every day. Motherhood is a self-sacrifice to raise the next generation. Or you could talk about the importance of motherhood in raising the next generation. Like laying a firm foundation of love, stability, faith, morality, worldview, work ethic, etc. under your children. Or you could talk about how Christ uses our vocation of motherhood to sanctify us. We can’t accomplish this great task without divine help. Our weaknesses, selfishness, laziness, etc. is exposed under the daily necessity of keeping our kids alive.

AMEN! Many other women have told me about the self-sacrifice of Motherhood. How there is no “me” or “what I want” any longer…only what our children and/or husband needs. Take heart sweet sister, Christ is our example. He gave his life for others…why? To glorify the Father and to be an example for us. He washed feet, he stayed up late, he submits to the Father, He cries with us, and he gave up his life to save us. So moms and future moms, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind and love your neighbor (children) as yourself. Fear the Lord. Know in your weakness he is strong. Motherhood is a gift and sacrifice that we cannot do on our own. Let me close with the Scripture that my niece memorized when she is struggling: Hebrews 4:14-16 “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

~ Colleen