Author: Colleen Craig

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A Helper…Really?

Sweet sister, if we were honest with ourselves, wouldn’t we admit that we desire to be unique, special, or seen as important in a splashy way? Don’t we have a longing in our hearts for movie star-like attention? I do. That’s why being defined simply as “my husband’s helper” can be difficult. I want to be defined by some other skill-set, not a confusing biblical label. I want to define myself outside of the church and marriage to prove something to the world about who I am.

It seems in this society it is easy for us women to try to define ourselves by our own woman-made standards rather than by the Lord’s. As wives we agree easily that we are made in God’s image, but may cringe a bit at the thought of being created as our husband’s helper. We want to be more. We want to be a mom, a doctor, an engineer, an artist, a blogger… Take a minute and think about what we are telling ourselves…we are saying that we know better than our Creator about how we are defined and what our purpose is in life. Wow. This is a big deal. Maybe you, like me, need to repent of this and grow in our understanding of what defines us and what it means to be our husband’s helper. Let’s first see how scripture defines our fundamental identity:

We are defined as being in the image of God (Gen 1:26). Ephesians tells us we are blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ (1:3), chosen by God before the foundation of the world (1:4), adopted as a son of God with all the rights and inheritance that comes with this (1:5), redeemed through the blood of Christ (1:7), forgiven of our trespasses (1:7), full of the riches of God’s grace, which He lavished on us (1:8), God’s heir (1:11), and sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit (1:13). This is who we are…this is who our husbands are.

With this biblical understanding as our fundamental identity, what does it now mean to be a helper? God Himself calls Himself man’s helper. The same Hebrew word used for “helper” in Genesis for women is used for God in Ex. 18:4; Ps 20:2; 33:20; 70:5; 115:9-11; 121:1-2 and 146:5! None of us would ever say that God is inferior to man by being man’s Helper, so we should not assume that being a helper means that we are in essence, inferior to man. Rather, God functionally subordinates Himself to come along side humans to care, provide, listen, etc.…to help us. He does not loose His Godhood, his very identity. Neither did Jesus when He became a man nor the Holy Spirit when He indwells humans. So too, we do not lose our essence of being made in the image of God, our identity, by being a helper to our husbands; our role is simply being defined.

God created us for this purpose or role, to help our husbands! “Then the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him’ ” (Gen. 2:18). We are to help our husbands. We are to trust our husbands with our heart. We are to listen to him in his most vulnerable of times. We are to walk humbly before him, joyfully helping him as God would have us. And we are to do this until death do us part. In good times and in bad. In sickness and in health.

Sweet sister, we can’t do this on our own. We need the help of the Holy Spirit to humble ourselves. And when we fall short? Oh, the sweetness of the forgiveness of Christ who humbled Himself to become a man and to die for this sin. He is our helper! He chose to obey the Father and live as a man, with all the issues and hardships that come with this choice. Even when it cost Him His life, He obeyed the Father to help us, to save us! Aren’t you glad He did? Now we have forgiveness and hope for a life of eternity with Christ! We even have the help of the Holy Spirit to help us help! This is good news. Remember who you are in Christ and how he has helped you, define yourself by this, and then joyfully help your husband to the glory of God!

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen

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Grace To The Humble

Dear sister,

Things haven’t changed much since the garden of Eden, have they? Adam and Eve’s desire to have what they deemed the “best” fruit in the garden led to a heredity of sin that can be seen in every person and child. They trusted in their own desires and feelings rather than trusting that what the Lord told them was true and better than that fruit. Instead of humbling themselves and trusting the Lord, they proudly and boldly ate the forbidden fruit.

Man, it is so hard to humble ourselves, isn’t it? We want to be proud parents, proud wives, known for something, anything! We don’t want to be told what to do…or is this just me? I’m really not one to boast vocally, but internally, my heart yearns for recognition from this world. I don’t want to be just a wife of so and so, mother of ______, or from this family. I want to stand out, be accomplished with my hands, skills, sports, or brain. I want to be known for my whit, humor, or craftiness. I can’t be alone…I’ve seen all the proud stickers on cars proclaiming honor rolls and personal advertisements.

Peter scripts in 1 Pet 5:6, that “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble”. When we, like Adam and Eve, desire our fame more than God’s, He opposes us. But when we instead, proclaim His fame over our own, we get grace! But how do I humble myself? Think about how we feel pride…we contrast something against our own standard and when we beat the standard, we feel proud! If the whole class gets a C and I get a C+, I am proud of that C+! If I compare my looks or skills with someone I think isn’t as good as me, I feel proud! So…why not compare myself with God for a good dose of humility?

He spoke. The universe was thrown into existence. He spoke and nature bloomed. He breathed life into the dirt and man stepped forth. He formed you in your mother’s womb. He made each cell move exactly where it was supposed to go. He created the nerve firings in your brain to command your every breath and heart beat. He gave skill to doctors, ideas to men and women to create art and science. He gave you a conscience. He holds the world in His hands! He made a way to fix the sin problem that Adam, Eve, and all of us have by sending Himself into the world to die for our sins! Then…He rose again, conquering death and defeating its fate for all those who put their trust in Jesus. Ummmmm…I can’t do any of that.

Humility is not self-condemnation or defamation; rather it is acknowledging everything we have comes from the Lord. It’s realizing that God deserves our praise, not us. We praise God and give thanks for our every breath, for our skills, whit, and humor He gave us. We praise God for the gifts and people in our lives. We praise and give thanks to God for our families, for the gifts and talents He has given our children and spouses. When we put the Lord in His rightful position, the result is humility in our hearts. But it’s a humility that brings joy, not shame. It brings the grace of the Lord, not His opposition. Wow! I want that! Don’t you?

Grace to you, sister,

Colleen

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Help For A Prideful Heart

My dear sister,

I can tell when I’m getting there: my belly tightens, my countenance falls, and my eyes can’t meet theirs.   These physical reactions are manifestations of what is going on in my soul…choosing to not forgive the person for what they have done to me. After all, if I was in their position, I would have never made the choice they did: to hurt me. Or so I make myself believe so I can feel good about holding onto my resentment that is quickly rolling into bitterness.

I read somewhere that anger responds to an incident, about what someone did, where resentment (that leads to bitterness) is a settled stance against the person. I have found that true in my life, have you? I have determined in my heart that I will not like or forgive a person. The hurt they inflicted on me (abuse, break of trust, afflicting my child, adultery, firing me, etc.) is something that I can never forgive or forget.

I wish I had more than a few paragraphs to work through this, as it is an issue that is insidious in women’s lives and sometimes needs years of biblical counseling. But there is hope for you and me. Please let me preach to myself as I write to you.

Resentment and bitterness in my heart shows that I have forgotten how much sin Jesus paid for me on the cross. Please take time to read Matthew 18:21-35 where Jesus tells a parable of a servant who was freed from a lifetime of debt, jailed his servant who owed him a hundred days wage. Jesus has paid for all my ugly sin against God and all my neighbors, yet I can’t forgive one neighbor. “But I would never have done what they did!” Oh sister, but by the grace of God we are where we are. We are all capable of all sin. We murder in our hearts. We commit adultery with our choices of books, TV, or thoughts. We connive to get our way. We manipulate our husband, friend’s and family. And if you proudly say you haven’t done these, you now have shown your prideful heart.

We need God’s forgiveness in our lives! If we forget this, resentment against others moves in. As believers, we are known by our love to God and neighbor. If our love is not shown as forgiveness to those who have hurt us, how can we be sure that we truly trust that the Lord has forgiven us? If we genuinely believe that we have been shown mercy by our Creator, how can we not then show mercy to fellow offenders?

Finally, the Lord says that vengeance is His, not ours. We are not judge and jury over others, God is. Let the Lord deal with your offender. He will do them justice. He will give them what they deserve. So sister, let them go. Pray that they will find their forgiveness with the Lord rather than face the wrath of hell for eternity (what we all deserve). Serve them. Impossible? YES! That is why we need an all powerful God and Spirit to help us do what we cannot do on our own. Will we fail? Yes. Let’s be honest, we are human. But then…remember! Christ died for our bitterness and resentment! Repent! Find the refreshment of being cleansed by the blood. Then, let this be your inspiration to free your offender. Look them in the eye and forgive them as you have been forgiven.

Oh God! Help us! This is so difficult! We need you to help us not be resentful. Wash us anew in your grace and mercy and strengthen us to extend this mercy to others.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen

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The Ultimate Power Keeper

Dear sisters,

My husband Barrett and I both stared open mouthed at our MacBook boxes. Our ambitions and hopes of joining the marvelous Mac world laid before us in pristine white boxes with the simple MacBook graphic displayed on the front. Barrett was drooling over the promise of quick access to all programs, graphics, artistic displays of all that the computer holds, photo booth, and popup apps. We slowly took out the smooth white laptop and marveled at the look and feel of the tool-toy. Yet, all our hopes would not come to fruition without one thing…pressing the power button. Once I found it (it looked completely different than I expected), the beauty and power of the Mac world opened up to me with a musical tah-dah! I have not been the same since.

Although this analogy is a bit silly and cheesy, it helps my simple mind to begin to grasp the power of God. The power of God is the ability and strength He can bring to pass whatever He pleases, whatever His infinite wisdom directs, and whatever His pure, infinite will demands. His power gives life and action to all the perfections of His Divine nature. He promised in the garden that He would crush Satan’s head. Without His power, that could never happen. Without His power, the Red Sea would never have been crossed, Sarah would never have had Isaac, the giant would not have been defeated, the promise of all His covenants would never be fulfilled, the Church would never last, and our sins would never be forgiven. Wow.

We have all made promises to people that have not come to pass because we didn’t have the power to complete them. Circumstances, events, or timing have kept us from fulfilling something we vowed to complete. But God’s power does not have limits like we do. He spoke…and the World was created. He rules in heaven with no need of man-made thrones, glories, or counsel. We have no power except what God has given us. In fact, He even gave the Holy Spirit to empower us to do things we can’t do in and of ourselves. We can’t claim any power that we may exhibit…even our lifting, running, and parenting power comes from God. God explained to Job His power when He asked Job a series of questions concerning creation in Job 38. Like Job, we should be speechless and humbled when faced with God’s power to do all His holy will. He has all power over creation, preservation, government, judgment, and Satan and his demons.

We have a choice then, sister: do we tremble at this power and run from it while we can? Or do we adore this God who is the ultimate power keeper? One who will never abuse power but uses it for good…our good and His glory! He used it to raise Jesus from the grave so our sins are forgiven for all time! Yes! He has the power to do this! And He did!

To return to the cheesy illustration above: Don’t just look at the MacBook box. Don’t just admire its feel, look, and abilities. Realize the real beauty comes in pressing the odd-looking power button which doesn’t look like all the others you have seen before. Like me, you will find that you will never be the same again.

Yours in Christ,

Colleen

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The King…Our King…My King

Dear sisters,

We Americans are a cocky brood. It is one of our strengths as it brings ingenuity and fantastical ideas to life, but it also heeds our understanding of other admirable attributes. Living in Thailand for four-ish years helped opened my eyes to one of these attributes that has changed how I view of our Lord and King.

Thailand is still ruled by a King. He is more than loved; he is highly esteemed and honored. I was instructed early on never to step on Thai Baht (their currency) as it bears the image of the king. Think about how many times you drop a quarter and step on it to keep it from leaving your sight or to bring it closer to you so you can pick it up. This is unheard of in Thailand. His image is never defamed, his character is never questioned, and unlike our country, the media never turn up dirt on him.

Traffic is stopped so he can pass freely. The pedestrian walkover bridges are emptied so no one is higher than the king as he passes. Every movie theater begins their show by playing the king’s anthem and all stand in respect until the song finishes. Each Friday honors the king by people choosing to wear yellow shirts in honor of the day he was born. I have never talked to a Thai person who has a bad word to say about him. In his healthier days, he would sweat in the unbearable heat while walking with the poor farmers to find out their needs. His science background helped him find a way to seed clouds in the hot season to help the farmers receive rain for their crop. He is a king who loves his people and they honor him for it.

Living in this environment made me realize how much I do not honor my king, Jesus. I grew up knowing that all men and women put on their pants the same way I do and everyone makes mistakes. I was encouraged to always work hard and then try harder so I could be anyone and do anything. All good things, except my view of fallible humans bled into my view of God. I used my human experience to be my foundation of who God is rather than the truth of scripture informing me of who God is. Therefore my honor to Him was not as it should have been and my actions showed it. I prayed disbelieving that He could answer my request. I went to church not to honor Him, but to see friends. I did good things not for His glory but for my own. Honoring my king was not evidenced in my life no matter how much my mouth proclaimed it was. Thailand helped open my eyes to what it means to truly honor the king in word and deed.

How about you dear sister? Do you praise and esteem your King more than yourself? Do you live your life in a way that shows how much you honor your King? He has done more for us than seeding clouds for rain. He showed His love by becoming one of us and living in this broken world so we would know He understands our every feeling and circumstance. He died by the hands of sinful men to forgive our sin debt. He gave us His righteousness forever! He is a King that rules perfectly and knows all things! We can trust Him!

“Oh My King, help us honor, respect, and esteem you more than ourselves. May we sing your praises and stand in awe of you more than all else in our life and may we never defame your name in word or in deed.”  CC

Your Sister in Christ,

Colleen