Author: Colleen Craig

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Truth That Does Not Lie

Dear Sister,

These days truth seems to be relative. We live in a world that says truth is defined by how you feel and no one can say we are wrong because his or her truth is not our truth. We act according to what feels good in the circumstance. If we are attracted to the same sex, then it must be OK because it feels good. If we don’t feel like going to work or school we can just skip it. If we fell out of love with our husband than we can divorce him because the Lord wants us to be happy. If we want to be married or have children then the Lord must give them to us because that is what will make our heart happy. If it is that time of the month then we can be curt and short with those we love because we feel like it. After all, we don’t want to lie to others about how we feel.

But this is not truth. Truth does not change and waver with the weather. Unchangeable truth comes from God and His word. That is what we need to base our truth, not our feelings and emotions.

Emotions are a tricky thing. Our creator experiences emotions, but he experiences them without the stain of sin. His feelings do not control him. But we are stained by sin and are often controlled by our emotions. The Father of Lies will tie our emotions to changeable circumstances so we forget to call upon the unchangeable realities of God and His truth to define the truth of our feelings. Instead of saying, “Wow, I feel totally alone right now, yet I know that the Bible says God is always near.” We say, “Wow, I feel totally alone right now, so God must have abandoned me”. Instead of saying, “The Lord has given me this job or husband because He loves and takes care of me”, we say, “Wow, the Lord really blew it when He gave me this job or husband”. Instead of saying, “I know that I have feelings toward this other woman, but I know that the Lord said it is sinful and He will help me through this sexual confusion”, we say, “Wow, this woman makes me feel like no man ever could so it must be right”.

So, how do we know what is truth and what is untruth (lies) as we go through this life of relative truth tied to emotions? Oh sister, it is going to take work. Hard work. We have to prepare for the fight before it happens. We have to study the character of God that is true and right to fight the feelings that come dancing with our circumstances. We have to talk to ourselves with the truth of God’s Word, rather than listen to our feelings. We need to memorize scripture, have a list of people we can call to tell us the truth when we don’t know how to act on our feelings. We need to go to church to hear the Word of God preached. This needs to be an offensive war, not a reactive one. And like everything, it starts with resting in the gospel afresh. Preach to yourself the gospel each morning: which is that as a result of having let your feelings dictate your life instead of God’s word, you deserve the wrath of God. But Jesus in His mercy took the punishment of your misused feelings for you on the cross. Then when He rose again he credited you his righteousness, including his perfect emotions, forever! Your sins are forgiven! These are facts. This is THE truth. Just because you don’t FEEL forgiven doesn’t erase the FACT that you are forgiven in Christ. So sister, fight the changeable lies with the unchangeable truth of the gospel. God and His word can be trusted! His word is reliable. He is good. And no matter what you are facing, despite how you feel, He will never leave or forsake you.

Your Sister,

Colleen

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Please, Just Let Me Tie Back Your Hair!

“Hey Annabelle, come on over and I’ll pull your hair back so it won’t get stuck in the honey that’s on your toast.” An easy request, right? Simple, straightforward, clear, and for her own good. Yet, she didn’t come. In fact, she went the other way. “Annabelle, come here.” She grabbed her hair on each said of her head clutching all she could of her now sticky strands. “No mom, I don’t want to.” My insides churned. Oh I HATE defiance. I think I can use the word “hate” as defiance is the in-your-face disregard of obedience and submission while doing the opposite of what is asked. This has been the norm of late with this child that I love. Everything I ask is returned with defiance; whether it be quiet looks, delays, or loud fits. Not only does it drain me, it makes me realize how much of this defiance is in my own heart.

Instead of obeying my parents, boss, authorities, or submitting to my husband, I hold my prideful ground in defiance. This defiance does not come from a heart of love or a desire of the things of God, this defiance comes from me not wanting anyone else telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. Although our movies and news often hold those that defy authority in honor, we need to realize that this heart of defiance should not always be emulated.

Jesus again is our best example of how to use defiance in a way that honors the Lord. He defied Satan during his dessert temptation, but do you remember what he used as His ammunition? Scripture! Then, when faced with religious leaders that did not want the things of God, he gave them history lessons, parables, or scriptures that showed them what they were doing or thinking was wrong. After that, when He was told by His friends that He should not suffer as the Messiah, He again defied them with scripture and history. I have to admit sisters, my reasons for defying my authorities are not rooted in biblical history and doctrine; rather, they come from emotional anger that protects my prideful desires. Oh wretched woman that I am! Who can save me from this?

Sweet sister, Jesus came to live a perfect life that we could never live. He fulfilled God’s law and died for it. He rose again satisfying God’s wrath and curse that was meant for us! Then he gave us His righteousness so when God the Father looks at us He only sees us obeying and submitting like His perfect Son. He does not see our sinful defiance against the authorities He has placed in our lives.

In Annabelle, I see how the depraved heart responds to a call to obey and submit. The depraved heart will defy in anger every time. Yet sister, we have the spirit in us that helps us obey and submit when we don’t want to. Call on Him! Beg Him for help! And remember, when sinful defiance comes out, we have a Savior that died for that sin too.

Your Sister,

Colleen

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His Example for Our Submission

My dear sisters,

It seems that when I am struggling with a certain issue, the Lord brings someone into my life that asks me how to deal with said issue. Ugh. Now I’m forced to biblically look at my own heart as I seek to give her wise counsel that I struggle to apply in my own life. Well, this month’s said issue is submission. Why do I have to submit to my husband? Why can’t it be a mutual thing? After all, I lived 30 years under my own control and think I did a pretty good job…how am I supposed to give up this control the moment I say “I do”? The pat answer is…because the Bible tells me I need to (Eph. 5:22, 24; Col 3:18). Our desire to rule our own lives happened in the garden when Eve decided to go against the good and perfect authority the Lord gave her and eat the fruit. Ever since then, we women LOVE to be in control and try to rule over our husbands…yet this is not how the Lord designed us. He made both men and women in His own image with indescribable worth. However, he gave each different responsibilities that compliment each other. The man’s responsibility is to work and sacrificially love his wife. The woman is to submit to the authority that God gave her husband.

Submission cannot be a bad thing because we see in scripture that Jesus submitted to the will of His Father by dying on the cross. He gave up His home in heaven, humbly took on human flesh and chose to die on the cross when the Father did not remove that cup of suffering from Him. Do you remember what happens after that? The Father raised His Son from the dead, conquering the curse from Adam, and placed Him at His right side. Jesus was glorified!! I don’t think any of us would say that Jesus was less of a person or God by submitting to the Father. They are the same essence, just as we are the same as our husbands in essence…made in the image of God.

OK, so I know the Bible tells me to submit, but practically, how does that work? What if I know I’m right? What if he doesn’t lead me well? What if I don’t trust him? What if I know what he wants our family to do is the worst option? Well, the main question to ask yourself is…”Is he leading us into sin?” If the answer is no, then sisters, we need to submit…even if we think he is wrong. Honestly, I curl my toes and get heartburn at times, yet I need to submit. That is the Lord’s will for us. Submitting brings glory to God and joy to us. It honors our husbands and makes them desire to lead us better. Nevertheless, it is the most difficult thing for us to do sometimes. We need to ask the spirit to help us. We need to ask ourselves why we are not trusting the Lord with how our husbands lead. When we fail to submit…yet again…we need to confess this before the Lord who submitted perfectly for us. Think about how much it hurts when our children do not submit to our leadership. Our husbands feel this pang on a grander scale as we know better than our children. And remember, our husbands also submit to God’s authority over their lives too.

Sisters, we need the spirit to help us do what we can’t do on our own. Our lack of submission should bring us back to our Savior who paid the price for our sin of disobeying our heavenly Father’s design for us…and you know what? We will have joy, both on earth and ultimately, forever in heaven!

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Hearts and Hemlines

Dear sisters,

I was a tomboy. I admit it. I loved sweatpants, bulky shirts and sweatshirts, and playing all sports. The only time I wore a dress was Sunday for church, which was mandated by my parents. I wore a t-shirt over my swimsuit for as long as I can remember and only grew my hair out to prove I was a girl. I continued to struggle with how to dress…ok…continue to struggle with how to dress modestly to this day. What makes what we wear modest or not modest? Is it the length of our dress? How much make up we wear or don’t wear? If we should wear spaghetti straps or not? And why should we want to be modest? Why not flaunt what we have been given by our Creator?

The Lord in His kindness has laid some foundational groundwork for us. He tells us in 1 Peter 3:3 and 1 Timothy 2:9 not to be outlandish, excessive, or sensual in what we wear. We are our brothers’ keeper and we want to help men and women keep their thoughts pure. (Let’s admit it ladies, when we enter a room, we check out the other ladies first. Just as men struggle with lust, we struggle with jealousy and envy of others as well.) One way to see if we are excessive in what we wear is to think about how much time, effort, and money we put into how we look…from hair to shoes. Our money is a good sign of what we are worshipping. Are we worshipping ourselves? Or are we worshipping the Lord? Ouch.

The Lord also tells us what to wear. In 1 Timothy 2:8-9, Paul tells women to “adorn themselves in respectable apparel with modesty and self-control.” What does that mean? Well, it means that it’s okay to adorn! Keeping a modern wardrobe is a good thing. Keeping your hair and skin healthy is a good thing. Jewelry and make-up are fun ways to show God’s color and creativity. Yet, all of this needs to be under the umbrella of modesty and self-control. We need to have a reverence for God and others when we dress as well as show our feminine virtue of restraint. We don’t tote the line of immodesty or quibble about hemlines.  We dress with confidence knowing that we don’t have to preview certain parts of our body for our self-worth. We protect and preserve our sexual nature for our husbands to enjoy. Not in the baggy clothes of my youth, but by not drawing attention to intimate areas of our bodies.

So, why do I still struggle with modesty and how to dress? Because it’s not black and white, it’s a continuous searching of my heart’s motives and desires. I want people to know I’m a woman and I want to enjoy cultural fashions, yet most of all, I desire for others to know that I dress in a way that brings glory to God, not me. That’s tough stuff. Sweet sisters, let us remember that it is Christ who has dressed us with His righteousness, and it is His love, grace, and mercy which now defines us, not our clothes.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen

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Do Not Forget Your Identity

“For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith….For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.”

                                                                                                                                                                2 Peter 1:5, 9

What does that even mean? Why is Peter telling us to remember that we have been cleansed from our sins? Why are we blind? Many of us have an identity crisis…a type of chosen amnesia that has made us forget who we are and why we were born. We have chosen to believe our identity comes from self-improvement, self-reliance, self-love, self-promotion, pride, independence, and self-worship. We say that we are saved by grace alone in Christ alone but then each day we order our steps according to the above list…endlessly trying to prove to ourselves and others that we CAN define ourselves by what we do and with whom we hang. We have forgotten our identity. Me included.
Our identity rests with our Creator. We are made in His image for a purpose…His glory. He receives glory when we remember that we were bought with a price and that we are not our own. We have been cleansed from ALL our sin! This gospel message not only saves us initially, it transforms and sustains us. Is there anything in this message that relies on my own self-worth, whether I am popular, respected, a winner, or well-fed? No! Sweet sister, you are a child of the living and loving God! You have been adopted into the family of the all-powerful God that will never leave you or forsake you, no matter if you are a winner or not, popular or not, respected or not! You have received grace, mercy, a full inheritance of the kingdom, forgiveness for all time, all heavenly blessings, and Jesus! Catch this. You have received this, not earned this.
Peter reminds us that if we forget this gospel truth, our justification, redemption, and reconciliation, we will always struggle with our sanctification. We will never have lasting change in our lives until our hearts are transformed with the good news…over and over and over again! Our virtue won’t grow until we appreciate that we have been cleansed, forgiven, and loved. Our knowledge of the Savior will not increase until we RUN to Him with no fear and a veracious desire to know Him more. Our self-control will be difficult because we will run to our idols for comfort rather than trusting that Christ is our ultimate comfort. We won’t desire to be godly until we truly desire to be like Christ, to fix our eyes on Him and not what the world is offering. Our affection for our brothers and sisters won’t increase until we are full of the knowledge of how much God loves and cares for them. And we won’t love until we fully grasp how deep the Father’s love is for us.
So sister, let us not forget our identity. We are sinners saved by grace alone. Created in the image of God, weak and dependent on His grace and mercy for each breath. Yet we were chosen before the foundation of the world to be adopted as sons with full inheritance and rights of the kingdom. When we truly begin to grasp this, failures are not devastating, being lonely has a cure, sicknesses will be ultimately healed, our need for self begins to decrease and our joy comes from loving God and loving our neighbor. Let us wake up each morning refreshed in the knowledge of gospel truths! Remember your identity!

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen