Author: Colleen Craig

Posted on

Suffering?

My dear sister,

We would never admit it.  We would never admit that sometimes as believers we think we should not suffer.  We think since the Lord, in His mercy, has chosen to open our eyes to the truth of the gospel, the rest of life should be easy, or at least endurable.  God would never allow “bad things” to happen to His chosen children.  And yet suffering comes.

Suffering comes when we least expect it and in ways we are not prepared…otherwise it is not suffering: the loss of a loved one after a battle with an illness or a “random” accident; losing a job because you confessed Christ; or being put in prison for the sake of the gospel in a land where the church hides underground.  I find in my life, it is never the major suffering that really catches me off guard, it is the tiny pebbles that grind my heart to cry to the Lord and ask why!  Why can’t the Lord see that I have had enough, endured enough, trusted enough, and I need the pain to stop!  Even death seems like a respite at some point.

Sister we are not alone in our thinking.  David cries throughout the Psalms with a screaming heart to the Lord to end his suffering, to save his child, and to stop the death screams of his kingdom.  Paul prays to the Lord to end his own thorn in the flesh.  And Jesus sweats blood as He prays in the garden that His Father would take the cup of suffering away from Him.  Why Lord?  Why do your people bear this pain?

The pain comes from the curse of Adam.  When sin entered the world, we no longer were able to experience life apart from pain (Romans 8:20-23a). Yet despite the fact that the world is accursed, we know God is in control of all suffering (Is. 45:7; Amos 3:6; Lam 3:37-38; Eph 1:11; Pro 16:9; 19:21; Matt 10:29; Pro 21:1).  In fact, God promised a Deliverer to break the curse forever and to give the hope of eternal life with no suffering!  Along with this expectant hope, we are also promised that the Lord is with us IN the suffering as well.  He does not leave us to bear the pain alone.  Psalm 23 speaks of how the Lord is with us in the shadow of death and Romans 8:38-39 says that nothing can separate or remove us from the love of God.  What a comfort to know that as believers in Christ, the God of the universe is not surprised by our suffering, He knows our suffering and understands it, is with us through our suffering, and gives us hope of a life without suffering!  Praise Him!

So why do we get suffering at all?  Why not just have us know about it without experiencing it?  Oh sister, how can we know the comfort of Christ without going through suffering?  How can we understand the sweetness of the cross without going there ourselves?  How can we become more like Christ unless we suffer (2 Cor. 4:16-18)?  How can we truly know God in Christ without suffering (Phil. 3:10)?  Can we really trust that the Lord is who He says He is without suffering?  Don’t we create our dearest friends by enduring a trial with them?  Don’t we find out what our heart truly desires when we suffer?  Do we want comfort?  Do we want family?  Do we want our way?  Do we want our schedule?  Do we want control?

Suffering is never easy.  Suffering makes us holy.  Suffering acquaints us with our Lord and drives us to Him.  And that is just where we need to be.

Your sister,

Colleen

Posted on

A New Equation

My Dear Sister in Christ,

You may not know this about me but I am kind of a science geek!  I used to teach junior and senior high science in Thailand and often when I was hanging with my students I would make some kind of science reference to what we were doing and not even realize it.  It would make them laugh and call me a nerd.  Yet as I was thinking about kindness for this month, all that came to mind was physics.  Yes, physics; specifically, action and reaction equations.  For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.  Remember those?  Often they had cartoon pictures of bats hitting a baseball, trains connecting to other trains, and so forth.  I really enjoyed figuring those out.  So as I was doing some studying on kindness, I discovered that kindness has its own action/reaction equation…and it doesn’t make sense!

Often we tell our children to be kind to others and we also desire to speak kindly to our friends and husbands…but what does that mean?  I normally think if the action done to me is kindness, my reaction is kindness.  If the action toward me is mean spirited, sadly, I sometimes choose to react in the same manner.  The Bible speaks of the kindness of the Lord with a different equation.  The kindness of the Lord is toward believers and it comes after the Lord has shown us the depravity of our sin.  So our action is dwelling in sin and the Lord’s reaction is kindness.  Wow.  This has made me view kindness in a new way.  It is not only “being nice” to someone, it is overlooking the wrong that they have done to you and treating them better than they deserve.  Now, when I read that the kindness of the Lord brings us to repentance (Romans 2:4), it makes sense!

Kindness is part of the fruit of the spirit and we are told to put on kindness in Colossians 3:12.  We must take the example of how the Lord showed us kindness (by sending us Christ when we were at our worst, to die on a cross and rise again to pay for our sin debt) and show it to others.  Wow.  When my husband, daughter, friend, or neighbor is at their worst, do I show kindness or frustration?  Do I give them what they deserve or do I follow Christ’s example and give them what they don’t deserve?  That is so hard!  We can’t do that on our own.  This is why its part of the fruit of the spirit.  It is the spirit compelling us to be like Christ.  This Spirit’s action/reaction equation may not make sense, but it changes lives…including our own.

Your science geek sister in Christ,

Colleen

Posted on

The Dragon’s Final Fatal Spasms

Dear sister,

~I had gotten the email Sunday morning Thailand time.  It shocked me to the core.  While living in Virginia I worked with an amazing Young Life staff who taught me how to meet teens where they were at.  There was one couple in particular who just exuded a love for Christ and each other that I had yet to see elsewhere. They were magnets to teens seeking joy and peace in the throws of high school chaos and awkwardness.  The husband came home from work that day to have lunch with his wife and brand new baby girl.  He just loved his family and wanted to spend some extra precious minutes with them. On the way back to work the authorities believe the sun blinded him and he ran off the road and was killed.  My heart broke for his wife, precious girl, and all those who knew him.  But the real tears came as I helped lead worship at church that morning with the song “God is so Good”.  At that moment, I did not believe those words and I left in tears.

~I woke up from the anesthesia hearing my name being called.  A few seconds later tears filled my eyes as I realized the beloved twins that once were alive inside me, were now gone.  I still feel the ache and tears now fill my eyes as I type.

How as Christians do we grieve to the glory of God?  Do we plaster a grin and say we are “fine”?  Do we fake it till we make it?  Is that what this Christian life is about?  Only good things should happen to believers, never sad, confusing or hurtful times?  Oh sweet sister, the Bible is full of grieving people…even the Lord Jesus himself grieved…even God the Father grieved at the death of his Son!  Yes, there is a way to grieve to the glory of God that does not minimize our hurt and pain.

We first need to realize that death was not in the original Garden of Eden.  Sin was not there.  So when we grieve death, we do so rightly.  Death is the result of sin that came from Adam’s disobedience to God which carries with it the curse of death to all who followed in life.  It reminds us that this world is broken.  Yet it is also a reminder that Christ came to CONQUER death!  Death has been and will be defeated.  It was slain at the cross and we wait for Christ to come again and stop the dragon’s final fatal spasms.

So as Christians, death hits us hard as we know that it is a result of a sin laden earth.  We grieve because of the destruction it brings.  So let the tears and groans come.  Know the Father grieves too.  But do not grieve without hope.

  • Be honest with what you are feeling:
    • The psalms are full of examples; let them guide you (Ps 13, 22, 38, 42, 55, 59, 61, and 88).  Bring your grief to the Lord, he above all understands what it means to grieve.
  • Seek Godly comfort:
    • It will be easy to run to the TV, food, exercise, memories, music, work, or other people but they will not give you lasting comfort.  Jesus Christ is our lasting comfort as He is the one who conquered death by dying and rising again!  Run to Him above all else.  Yes, you can use the others as tools, but not your respite.  Christ is your ultimate comfort (2 Cor. 1:3-4).
  • Resist Temptations:
    • You will be vulnerable when you are in grief.  Resist the temptation to doubt God’s goodness, mercy, grace, and love.  You may not feel like He is those things but remember He never changes.  Be careful not to be angry with God, envy others who have not felt your grief, or fall into self-pity.  Serve others.
  • Use Your Resources:
    • This is when we really need to lean into our church family for support.  We need them to help us remember the Truth and not believe the lies.  Read the Word.  Read the Word.  Read the Word.  Even if you don’t feel like it.
  • Remember your Blessings:
    • The Lord does promise good out of all things.  Actively look for them

I had never understood the pain of a miscarriage until I had one.  Since that day, my heart aches for each couple who experiences this loss.  I can grieve with them, cry with them, hurt with them, and offer them hope as one who understands what they are going through.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says that there is “a time for everything”, even a time to mourn, lose, die, and break down…but it also says there is a time to laugh, build up, and live. “There is a season for everything under the sun”.  Yes grieve, but don’t stay there, let the Lord use you to then comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3).   Grief is real, but so is the comfort of Christ.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen

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Forgiveness: Paid in full!!!

Dear Sister,

I got frustrated with my nine month old…again.  I needed to run that red light or I would be late for my meeting.  My husband is the one that cheated on me; he is the one that needs to ask for forgiveness.

I really think that I tend to rank my sins!  There are the little ones that come just because we are born in sin…you know, frustration at my child and husband, eating more chocolate than I need, or even running a red light when I’m in a hurry.  Then there are the big ones:  Adultery, pornography, eating disorders.  That must mean that forgiveness follows that same ranking, right?  Well, actually, no it does not.  The bible clearly states that the wages of sins is death (Rom 6:23).  EVERY sin deserves death…even the ones I think can be excused or ignored.  That also means that my sin of gluttony or frustration has the same penalty as the one who commits murder.  Wow.  That also means that Jesus dying on the cross pays for the death that frustration, rape and murder deserve.  Wow.  Forgiveness begins with knowing how much we have been forgiven because of what Christ has done.  With His forgiveness comes our responsibility for forgiving others.  We have been forgiven much, we need to now forgive others (Col 3:13).  But what does that look like?

My dear friend, forgiveness is not easy.  It takes real humility.  It means that you are canceling the debt that someone owes you and paying for it yourself.  Someone has to pay for the sin.  We want the other person to pay for the hurt but forgiveness says that you in fact, pay for the hurt that was done to you!  Wow, that is not easy!  It does not mean forgetting; let’s face it that is impossible.  But it does mean not holding that sin against the person even if you have an occasion to bring it back up to them.  It also means that you do not tell your best friend or mom about what your husband or friend has done to you.  You are not free to gossip to others about a sin that you have cancelled.  That is not easy.  That takes humility.

I’ve struggled with forgiveness in another way.  I say that I forgive my friend for gossiping about me but then a week, a month, or years later I find those same angry feelings spewing up from my gut once again.  But I thought I had forgiven her?  Yes, forgiveness is an event when you tell someone you forgive them.  But it is also a process.  Those hurt feelings will come up again and you will need to continue to forgive the person.  It is an event and also a process.  Thinking of it like this will help you not become bitter and angry which are sins in themselves.

Forgiveness is not easy.  It really does take humility. This humility is seen by Jesus who gave up the riches of heaven to become a man and die on the cross for us (Phil 2).  He is our example.  Remember that He forgives us for EVERY sin we have ever or will ever commit against him.  He does not hold it against us; in fact, he paid the penalty for each sin.  He continues to forgive us even when we commit the same sin again, even when we fail to forgive others.  Oh I pray that I will be quick to forgive!  I pray that I will remember how much I have been forgiven so I can forgive others who sin against me.  No sin is too small to forgive.  No sin is too big to forgive.  You see, forgiveness begins and ends with the cross.  Jesus is our example and our ultimate hope for the forgiveness of all sins.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen

Posted on

Daunting Disappointment

 

Dear Sister,

Oh man, there I was, gazing at a steaming undercooked brownie crowned with vanilla ice cream that began to melt as it was placed carefully on the mass of brownie goodness.  I grabbed for the ordered dessert and noticed the caramel sauce sweetly simmering on top…and then I noticed the nuts.  I hate nuts.  It was almost enough to make me not even take a bite of the exuberantly priced prize that just moments ago looked like the answer to another bad day.  

I opened the mailbox to see yet another letter rejecting me from medical school.  My heart fell and I even got angry.  I told the letter how big of a mistake it was to reject the finest doctor they could have ever graduated.

The stick silently screamed once again that I was not pregnant.

Pain and sadness from disappointment is very real no matter how it is presented.  It can rear itself anywhere from an order made wrong to a marriage gone bad.  Each case seems just as painful at the moment.  How can that be?  How can I be just as disappointed from nuts on ice cream to a husband who no longer sees or hears me?  It is because at that moment, no matter what it is, I am trying to find my joy and contentment from something of this world.  I think the perfect brownie sundae or marriage will make life that much sweeter.  When it doesn’t, I am dreadfully disappointed.  Have you ever felt that way?  What are we to do with this discouraging disappointment?

First of all sweet sister, know that we can find encouragement that Christ was also disappointed in his time here on earth.  His disciples really bumbled around his teachings and showed lack of faith when Jesus taught or performed miracles.  On the hardest day of his life, his three closest friends should have been his dearest comfort, yet they couldn’t even stay awake with him as heanguished in prayer.  He knows what it is like to be disappointed.  But he is also the One who paid the ultimate price so we will never be disappointed ultimately again.  Our sins are forgiven forever, our debt is paid, and we have the hope of heaven!  Jesus not only understands disappointment, he made a way to overcome them forever!

So let us pray when disappointment claws at our hearts that we will remember three things: 1) Jesus is a mediator who understands what we are going through because he has experienced it; 2) Our disappointment shows us our sin of trying to find contentment in this world; and 3) Our ultimate salvation, joy and hope is in Christ, not in anything of this world.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen