Dear Sisters,
I looked up the word “friend,” as used in Proverbs 17:17 (“A friend loves at all times”), in a Hebrew dictionary. The word means ‘an associate (more or less close)’ and comes from the root, ‘to tend a flock’ or to ‘pasture it’ –by extension, ‘to associate with (as a friend).’ Working on tasks and eating together are the glue of many of my friendships. Likewise, many times we suffer through adversity together in these moments, which create and cement longstanding bonds.
My thoughts turned toward the story of Job and his friends. Job’s friends traveled to meet with him after hearing of the misfortunes that had swept over him. “When they lifted up their eyes at a distance and did not recognize him, they raised their voices and wept. And each of them tore his robe and they threw dust over their heads toward the sky. Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great.” Job 2:12-13.
Amazing love these men showed their friend! I love my friends and want to meet them in their pain, to help if I can; but I have never sat in the dirt with anyone for over an hour, much less days and nights—without speaking. (Note: they were men, however.) Unfortunately, after their great show of love, they turn from sorrowing with their friend to accusing him in their own self-righteousness.
I am afraid I too often make the same prideful mistake when a friend meets trouble. I want to help, so I seek out all the ways they have failed—to help them fix their problems and move on, of course. Yet, “a friend loves at ALL times”—the verse does not continue with said friend fixing imperfections—just loving. Sitting in the dirt. My friendships should be powdered with more of the dust of trials, and less of my desired white wash.
In James 2:23, the author recalls Abraham and God’s friendship, “’And Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness,’ and he was called the friend of God.” What an incredible testimony. Abraham believed—he accepted God’s promise that he would have infinite descendants even in the midst of his childless sorrow! He and God sat in the dirt together, trusted, and were friends.
Dear God, please cultivate these friendship qualities in my life—yes, dirt and all.
Running(and sometimes sitting)with you,
Rebecca